In Sickness and in Health - Episode Guide

Alf Garnett has not mellowed with the years and is as bigoted as ever. The Garnetts are now living in a council maisonette, near West Ham football ground, but Alf's lot is not made easy by having to push Else, who has rheumatoid arthritis, around in a wheelchair.

Opticians are the focus of Alf attention this week.

Also in the firing line are yer Fleet Street and yer Church, but he meets his match outside a ladies loo.

Alf hears of the provision of home-helps by the DHSS, but none of them will stay in the same house as him. After a session in the pub with Arthur, he returns home to find that Else has acquired a different kind of home-help - one who will stay!

Alf uses his neighbours' phone to ring his daughter Rita, in Liverpool. It's so much easier now 'you don't have to bother with the operator no more' - but Rita's not on the phone and Else is still next door but after all: what are neighbours for!

Rita comes home for a few days to visit Mum and Dad, and meets their new home-help, Winston. Mike , meanwhile, is still unemployed in Liverpool, and who can wonder, when 'the Tory Government's being run by a grocer's daughter!'

Unable to qualify for a powered wheelchair and fed up with pushing Else and the shopping home, Alf asks the local mechanic to modify an old lawn-mower engine for her chair. While demonstrating its safety to an unconvinced Else, Alf realises he forgot to ask for a brake.

Alf and Else are invited to Christmas dinner at the church hall - thereby missing the free beano for pensioners at the local pub. Alf feels he ought to have his share of both, and achieves as much by conniving with his mate Arthur. Also using devious means, Rita is forced to stay to look after them over the Christmas period which ends with a knees-up at the church hall.

Alf returns from the funeral of Else, his long-suffering wife. Having lost her disability allowance of E30 and half the pension, life ahead is not too rosy.

Alf returns home late from the pub to find himself shut out. The long-suffering Johnsons help out.

Alf acts strangely after being locked in his bedroom by Mrs Hollingbery. The milkman arrives with good news.

Alf and Arthur enjoy a pint discussing the free society. Alf reckons you can have a free society - but only with control and discipline.

With the aid of a new jacket full of battle ribbons and Else's wheelchair, Alf and Arthur find themselves in the money - Chair Aid.

An unexpected visit coincides with Andy and Fergie's Royal Wedding. There are rivals for Alf affections.

Alfs problems increase - but things are eventually resolved by Caribbean magic.

Alfs joy at Rita's pending divorce is short-lived when he learns she is to live with the new doctor.

The arrival of Alfs AIDS leaflets spurs him and Arthur into action to aid Mary Whitehouse.

When Alf is given a cordless telephone it turns out to be more of a hindrance than a help.

Gwenneth and Min come to visit Alf. They decide to hold a seance to talk to long-departed friends.

Alf has a fight at a tea dance and meets up again with his adversary outside his house. and The Ken Jones Tea Dance Quintet.

Alf falls asleep watching cricket and dreams he is batting for England.

Christmas is a time to be with family, but not for Alf. He is destined to spend Christmas in hospital, having his hip replaced.

Alf returns in a new series and in his usual lovable mood. In the first programme he attacks the council housing policy - and Mrs Hollingbery upstairs.

His drinking pal, Arthur, tries to convince Alf that he should make an effort to get along with Mrs Hollingbery. In fact Arthur suggests that Alf should marry Mrs Hollingbery - not a suggestion that appeals to Alf, although he can see there might be some rewards.

After all, she's not a bad cook and her pension could come in handy.

Arthur is still trying to convince Alf that he should get married again, to Mrs Hollingbery. Alf is toying with the idea, not so much for reasons of the heart, but rather because there is the opportunity to put two pensions together, and even the possibility of getting the house cheap off the loony left council.

Alf and Mrs Hollingbery are now engaged to be married and Alf has already started to enjoy her cooking. They treat Arthur, who thinks he's won the pools, to a celebration dinner. Naturally, Alf has to remind Arthur who his best friend is, as best friends share everything.

Alf and Mrs Hollingbery are Preparing for a trip to Australia to meet her rich brother, in the hope that he'll lend them money to buy their house cheap off the council once they are married. Alf, ever the romantic, Persuades Arthur , as best man, to go with them, so he can have someone to talk to. (Mrs Hollingbery 's company doesn't count). It could also have something to do with the fact that Alf is terrified of making the trip.

Alf and Mrs Hollingbery are off to Australia to meet her rich brother, and to get married down under. Alf is not sure which he is more frightened of - flying to Australia or getting married again. His drinking pal, Arthur, has to go along to hold his hand.

Alf, Mrs Hollingbery and Arthur have made the trip to Australia to meet Mrs Hollingbery 's rich brother Ricky and his wife Railene. After a few days of Alf's company, Railene and Ricky would like to pack him off to Crocodile Dundee country! They manage to convince the three Poms to go sightseeing for the day which, in Alf case, means finding the nearest pub

Alf, Mrs Hollingbery and Arthur are still staying with Mrs Hollingbery's rich brother Ricky in Australia. Ricky and his wife Railene take them off on a trip to the outback; Alf is terrified and his fear is not helped by Ricky's practical jokes. What has so far been dislike, now becomes open war between Alf and Ricky, particularly when Alf discovers that Ricky's 'generous' offer to lend them the money to buy their council house in London may not be all it seems.

Christmas on an old-age pension holds no cheer for Alf. While others have turkey and lots of drink, all he has to look forward to is bread and cheese, so he decides to follow the advice: 'The Lord helps those who help themselves.'

Alf and Mrs Hollingbery are plunged into darkness by a power cut; 'can't even get a simple thing like electricity right'. And as for the poll tax...

When Mrs Hollingbery gets a job to help save for their wedding, Alf is not pleased. In fact life itself is losing its appeal and he contemplates the alternative.

Alf decides to get a job but Mrs Hollingbery is not convinced.

Alf takes to the streets with a job as a part-time window-cleaner.

Alf tries his hand with man's best friend, much to Fred Johnson 's delight, but who is taking who for a walk?

Alf is commanded to serve on a jury

As jury service draws closer, Alf is worried about possible revenge by the criminal fraternity.

Alf cannot even board a bus without having an argument with the driver, one that he loses. However, he will have his revenge.

Mrs Hollingbery has forced Alf to try to save money for their wedding, which means no smoking or drinking.

As Alf's wedding to Mrs Hollingbery approaches, all Alf is looking forward to is the stag night.

Alf is still "sort of" engaged to Mrs Hollingbery, who continues to live and wage war from upstairs. Repairing a blocked kitchen sink does not put Alf in a good mood; nor does the arrival of Michael; nor does the car alarm or the road drill.

Alf decides to become one of Mrs Thatcher 's entrepreneurs. He enlists Michael's support in a car-parking scheme on match day and follows Norman Tebbit's advice by getting on his wheelchair to do a paper round. This takes him to the home of one of his team's favourite players, but not through the front door.

Alf is suffering from problems of old age. Just cutting his toenails turns into a major operation. The only joy in his day is when he hears about the discomfort of others - particularly Fred johnson.

Alf is still concerned about ill health, but this time it is Mrs Hollingbery 's ailments that worry him. His concern is not born out of tender feelings towards her - rather that her bad leg is a major inconvenience to him. Who's going to cook and clean for him?

Alf, never one to volunteer for anything, reluctantly agrees to move an old wardrobe out of Mrs Hollingbery 's room. But when a secret panel flies open to reveal an old briefcase stuffed with notes, he realises that the contents could completely change his life.

Alf, now a very rich man, sees life in an entirely new way. Money brings its problems, however.

Alf is still enjoying his new-found wealth. He can indulge in some of his favourite hobbies: drinking, eating and looking after himself. But how long will it last?

Having been jilted at the altar, Alf is hardly full of Christmas spirit; and Mrs Hollingbery doesn't think much of 'good will to all men'.