Have Kimono, Will Travel Recap

Binghamton is in his office throwing darts at a photo of McHale when Carpenter comes in to say that Reynolds is on the scrambled phone. Reynolds reminds him about the logistics conference the coming Saturday and tells him to leave plenty of time to get there. As Binghamton agrees, a band starts playing outside his window. Reynolds' wonders what's going on, and Binghamton quickly hangs up and goes to investigate. The 73 screw is sailing into the harbor, advertising their Follies on Friday and playing band music.

Later on the island, Parker rehearses Willy, Happy, and Christy crew performing in drag for the Follies. Virgil and Tinker come over and Tinker practices his Edward G. Robinson impersonation. Fuji brings over Gruber's sword cabinet and Gruber says that he's going to use it to make a girl disappear. He demonstrates on Parker, putting him inside and running swords through the sides. McHale comes over and Gruber explains what he's doing. He opens the cape and finds Parker still there but caught between the swords. As Gruber takes the box off, Fuji suggests that he open the show as a Japanese comedian.

Binghamton and Carpenter arrive by gig and McHale gets Fuji into the box. McHale then explains about the Follies, and Binghamton says that everyone has heard about it. He tells McHale that he's not putting on any show, and McHale points out that there hasn't been a USO troop through in months. Binghamton isn't impressed and warns that he's misusing government personnel, and wonders what's in the box. Gruber says that there's nothing in it, and is forced to run a sword into it. Fuji yelps, and Parker claims he was practicing his ventriloquist act. Binghamton doesn't believe him and opens the cabinet, but Fuji is gone. The command says they're still not going to do the Follies on Friday and leaves. Afterward, McHale says that they're going to follow Binghamton's letters to the letter... and he didn't mention anything about Saturday when he'll be gone at Comfleet. They then reopen the cabinet and confirm that Fuji has reappeared. He has no idea how he disappeared.

On Saturday, Binghamton packs to leave and puts Carpenter in charge. He sees one of the clerks hiding something behind his back and demands to know what it is. It's a flier for the Follies, and Binghamton tells Carpenter to delay the PT boat taking him to the conference and heads for the island.

On the island, McHale enters the hutch and sees the crew rehearsing. He realizes that Gruber is planning to sell souvenirs during intermission. Parker warns that Binghamton is coming, and Fuji hides. McHale has the crew hide everything and act natural, and then goes out to greet Binghamton. Binghamton says that they're taking him to the conference and shows them the flyer.

The 73 heads to Comfleet and an enemy Zero dives on them. It hits the PT and the fuel tank, and flies off. They don't have enough fuel to get to the nearest base, so they head to the nearest island to make repairs and get more gasoline. All of the islands are Japanese held, and McHale figures that they can impersonate Japanese sailor.

The crew dock on an island and they search for gasoline. They find the Japanese base and their fuel dump, and hide as a truck goes by. It stops due to a flat tire, and the driver sits down to swig a drink from a bottle of liquor. Once he dozes off, McHale punches the soldier unconscious. The crew finds Japanese Kabuki clothing and makeup in the back of the truck, and they figure a Japanese USO troop is on the island. McHale tells the crew to hide the truck and Binghamton that they can use the props to get to the fuel dump.

The crew dresses up as Japanese Kabuki performers, and Binghamton comes out as a geisha. They go over the plan: McHale will tell the commander in charge that they came early to give a preview. Gruber will distract the soldiers with his magic, and the rest of them will take the fuel drums. McHale is the only one who can speak Japanese so he'll do all the talking.

The truck pulls up to the base and the sentry lets them in and they begin their show. McHale introduces "The Great Grubujil" but none of them are impressed with his sleight of hand. Meanwhile, the others head for the fuel dump and Binghamton vamps the guard to draw him over. They knock him out and load the fuel.

When they go back to the tent, Binghamton reports that they have the fuel. Gruber walks off in disgust and the soldiers demand another act. McHale and Binghamton send Parker out to sing, and he performs "Fare Jacques" in pidgin Japanese. The soldiers finally demand the geisha and boo Parker off the stage. McHale translates and tells Binghamton they want him. He has no choice but to dance for the soldiers, who start cheering and tell him to strip. McHale sends Parker out to help Binghamton, and he stumbles on Binghamton's robe. The soldiers realize that they're imposters, and the Americans run. McHale knocks the tent line over, trapping them, and then gets on the truck with the others and they drive off.

Later back at Taratupa, McHale and the crew march up to Binghamton's office, performing their band instruments. McHale and Parker go in and McHale says that they are going to perform the Follies and send the profits to Naval Relief. When Binghamton refuses to let them put on the show, they threaten to reveal that Binghamton played a geisha girl and Binghamton quickly agrees and writes them a $100 donation.

Written by Gadfly on Dec 31, 2016