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Caiman Recap

As Karen reports that the river water is contaminated, Florence remembers watching Emma die. Chet doesn't see the problem and drinks it anyway, and is soon writhing in agony. They cover him over and let him sleep it over, and Karen points out to Florence that it's too bad that Emma is dead. She was a doctor and Karen figures that Florence is useless. Karen heads upriver to see what's contaminating the war.

Danny and Owen sit around wondering they've been collecting their urine. The pirates come over and ask where the cockpit is, and they explain that the Barracuda wants us to scavenge it for parts. Danny warns that there's a body messed up underneath it, and Todd asks what is going on in the real world. The pirates start describing the political climate, and Pack asks what's happening on Games of Throne. The pirates realize that they've missed a full season and warn that there's a lot of twists.

Steve is fishing and singing a New Zealand song when the Barracuda comes over and says that She's heard it before. She orders him to sing it at gunpoint, and joins in with him. The Barracuda says that she's not from New Zealand but her mother is, and quickly walks off.

Florence insists on going with Karen, and insists that she's going to help Karen whether she likes it. They head upriver and Karen notices that the vegetation is getting thinner. Emma points it at the same time, and Karen wonders what she's trying to prove. The younger woman insists that she's trying to be useful and eats some berries, and Karen suggests that she swallow and see if she breaks out in hives and shits. Emma does so and then says that she has to cough them out, and quickly spits them out. Karen says that the berries are fine after all and eats some, and they come to some boar guts. The tooth of a Black Caiman is among the guts, and Karen explains that it's the deadliest alligator. She figures that it's built its nest there, so she'll have to kill it if they want fresh water. Florence says that they're going to have to kill it.

The pirates describe the most recent season of Game of thrones. Danny interrupts to tell them not to spoil it because he wants to watch it himself when they get home. He explains that he has nothing waiting for him at home except his couch, pizza, and an entire season of Game of Thrones. Most of the survivors agree with him, but Owen insists that the books are better. Pack figures that they won't make it home, and suggests that they let the pirates describe the show. Todd says that they should be talking about Ballers, and Jess admits that it's good. The pirates say that they should settle it by vote.

Florence is practicing fighting with a spear, and Karen finally tells her that it's going to get savage and Florence should go back. Her companion refuses, and Karen figures that it's about Emma. Karen insists that Emma is dead and Florence figures that it should be her. Florence admits that Emma was her rock, throws away Karen's spear, and throws rocks into a pond. Karen takes pity on her and tells her to cove herself in blood to mask her scent.

As Steve cooks fish, two of the pirates come over to take him to the Barracuda.

Once Florence dozes herself with blood, Karen tells her to walk into the kill zone and then hides. Florence wonders how she kills the caiman without a spear, and Karen finally explains that Florence is bait and she'll kill the caiman. Disgusted, Florence takes the spear and walks off.

The Barracuda offers Steve a drink and says that his singing brought back a lot of memories of her dead lover Luther. He was from New Zealand and worked on a cruise ship that they raided, and he begged them not to shoot him in the face. The Barracuda explains that her lover used to sing the same song to her after they made love for hours. She tells Steve that he reminds her of him and shoves him to the bed.

The pirates count the votes and announce that it's a tie and they can't spoil without a majority due to the pirate's code. Jess tells them to spoil to it, and admits to Todd that she watched Game of Thrones without him. Todd realizes that she watched it during Sunday night Pilates, and Jess admits that there was no Pilates. She tells Todd that she doesn't like Ballers, and the pirates describe the newest season.

Florence gets lost and hears Emma's voice. It's coming from a rock, and Emma points out that earlier Florence said that she was her rock. Florence apologizes for letting her die, and Emma points out that she risked her life to save her. She tells Florence that she was the most devoted friend she ever had, and the survivors need her. Florence throws the rock in the river as a goodbye and hits the caiman. As it heads toward her, Karen charges out of the brush.

The pirates describe Game of Throne, acting out the entire thing.

Karen wrestles the caiman. When it throws her off, Florence grabs Karen's spear and kills it.

Night falls, and the pirates finish the end of the season. The survivors applaud, and Pack asks them to do Suits. The pirates say that nobody watches Suits and walk off. Todd apologizes to Jess for making her stop watching Game of Thrones, and Jess tells him that they'll start again. Karen and Florence return with the dead caiman and fresh water, and the survivors cheer them.

After sex, the Barracuda tells Steve to come to her tend every night after dark and sing. She then sends him away, and warns him that if he tells anyone she'll kill him. Steve assures her that it's not the first time he's heard that.

Written by Gadfly on Jun 28, 2017

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