As Sid sneaks through the village, a villager spots him and prepares to call the guards. As the other villagers come over, Sid asks if they'd sell him out for six gold. They describe what they could do, and Sid reminds how the king and queen won't pay and have ruined the kingdom. Sid proposes that they storm the castle and take back what's rightfully theirs, and the villagers cheer. Sid points out that they'll probably all die and they slip away one by one. By the time Sid gets to the castle, he's the only one there.
Galavant, Richard, and Roberta ride through the woods until their horse stops. They all kick it but it doesn't move. Richard laments how they've had nothing but bad luck and they're out of good. They spot a sign saying that they're entering the property of Sir Arnold Galavant, and Galavant insists that they're not related. Richard and Roberta aren't convinced, and Galavant admits that Arnold is his father. He doesn't want to see him, but there's nothing for at least 50 miles.
Madalena prepares Gareth's birthday party and thanks the servants for their hard work. Gareth comes in and they all yell "surprise." He goes berserk and starts attacking people until Madalena explains that it's his birthday party. Gareth finally admits that all of the hoity-toity king stuff isn't him. A disappointed Madalena asks Gareth what he really wants for his birthday party, and Gareth explains that every year he had a bar fight. She says that she's taking him to the sleaziest tavern in Valencia to get him a birthday scar.
Isabella returns to Harry's palace and demands to see Wormwood. Wormwood is reviewing his evil plot with Barry when Isabella comes in and tosses Wormwood the mind-control tiara. He admits that was his evil scheme, and says that the only thing that can kill him is the sword wielded by the One True King to Unite Them All. No one knows where it is.
Richard is crushing nuts with the sword.
Isabella offers to have her guards cut off Wormwood's arms, and banishes him from Hortensia. He promises to return and take the kingdom by force... and reminds her to tip the waits and have the groomsmen initial their gifts.
Galavant and the others go to Galavant's manor, and Galavant insists that his father was a serial philanderer who was never around. Richard figures that his story of having a dead father is sadder, and Galavant warns that his father is a loveless monster. Arnold comes out mock-sparring with his children and immediately invites Galavant in. He congratulates Galavant on his beard and explains that the children aren't his. He runs a swordsman school for at-risk youths, but Galavant is unimpressed.
Madalena and Gareth arrive at the tavern. Nobody wants to risk insulting the new king. They're eager to agree that their parents are hussies.
Wormwood and Barry flee to the Forest of Coincidence. They find Sid and his card, and he explains that he's lost as well. When Barry mentions that Isabella kicked them out, Sid insists that he has to find her and that there must have been a misunderstanding. When he wonders how to find Galavant, a peasant coincidentally comes by with Galavant's sword and says that he is at Arnold's home. Sid needs a horse, and a horse salesman comes by with a horse at the right price: Sid's shoes. Sid warns Wormwood that Gareth and Madalena re war-minded monsters and rides off, and Wormwood realizes that it's coincidentally a wonderful coincidence.
Richard prepares to spar with the children, and Roberta worries that Richard might not be ready. Galavant warns that she's starting to sound like she's in love with Richard, and Roberta insists that she's not falling in love with him. The children ask Galavant to tell them what it was like to grow up with Arnold, and he warns them that Arnold doesn't care about anyone but himself. The children describe how Arnold fed them and gave them everything Arnold had. Arnold comes in and, hearing Galavant, walks out in disappointment.
In Hortensia, Isabella has her parents freed from the dungeon where she put them after she was mind-controlled. They apologize for trying to force her to be someone she's not, and Isabella says that she's ready to be her own person. She breaks off her engagement and the Bishop of Valencia announces that Isabella has to give up her bra so Harry can show it to her friends. Isabella refuses to give an 11-year-old a bra, and the Bishop warns that it's death if she doesn't. She has no choice but to give in.
Galavant goes to Arnold's room and finds a quilt he's made of all the great moments of Galavant's life. He's been following Galavant's adventures his entire life, but he could only express himself through tapestries. Arnold admits that he missed out on the greatest adventure of all: fatherhood. However, he assures Galavant that he was with him in his son, and has always been proud of him. Arnold asks Galavant for his forgiveness, and tells him to go rescue Isabella and be the father and husband he never was. Galavant offers to spar with him.
Gareth is polishing his helmet when Madalena comes in and apologizes for not getting anyone to hit him. He appreciates that she cares, and she says that she has one surprise that arrived. Wormwood comes in and Madalena asks if Gareth would like an unprovoked war with Hortensia, and Gareth figures that it's the best birthday present ever.
Galavant and Arnold play toss-the-cabbage, and Arnold goes to get another cabbage. Sid rides in and says that Isabella is being forced to marry Harry. Galavant promises to raise an army to rescue her, and Sid tosses Galavant his sword. Distracted by Richard punching children, Galavant misses and the sword enters his chest.
Written by Gadfly on Jan 18, 2016