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Tanks for Nuthin' Recap

Monarch wakes up to find Dr. Mrs. The Wife dressing for work. She complains that he's sleeping in when some people work, and Monarch insists that he works. Dr. Mrs. TheWife points out that her husband hasn't arched in weeks, and he's only Level 4 while Rusty is Level 10. She notes that Monarch is partying all night with Henchman 21, and tells him to hire some henchman and arch someone else for a while. Dr. Mrs. The Wife says that she married the Monarch and she has no idea who she's married to now. Once she leaves, Monarch tells Henchman 21 to head to the Morpho Cave.

Brock wakes up in Warriana's quarters and tries to sneak out. Warriana notices and tells him that there's coffee, and tells him to get out.

As the Venture workers pulls a dead Haranguetan out of the crater in the Venture lobby, Dr. Mrs. The Wife looks on and Rusty tries to flirt with her. She warns that Haranguetan was a top-level nemesis. Rusty insists that he has nothing to do with it, but she figures that Brock killed him. Brock comes in but is too hung over to attack anyone. He says that he smacked Haranguetan around a bit but he was alive when he left. However, Brock refuses to let Dr. Mrs. The Wife look at their surveillance tapes. As she turns to go, Dr. Mrs. The Wife bumps into Dean with flowers. He explains that they're for Hatred but she doesn't believe him. Meanwhile, Watch and Ward have Rusty sign for Haranguetan's body. As Brock goes in, Pirate Captain warns Rusty that they've got a problem.

Pete, Action Man, Colonel Gentleman, and Rose watch the online video of Billy waking up from his exposure to God Gas. Billy comes in and realizes what they're looking at, and tells them to take it down. Rose answers the doorbell and tells Billy that Dr. Mrs. The Wife is there to see him.

In the mayor's office, a red phone rings and a nervous maintenance man answers it. Henchman 21 has no idea who he's calling, and quickly hangs up. Monarch looks around the cave while Henchman 21 shows him the pyramid of villains in line to arch Rusty. Wide Wale is at the top of the pyramid, but he's ceded some arching rights to other villains. Monarch insists that every one of them is dead, but Henchman 21 points out that he's not a murder, despite the accident with Haranguetan. Next, they have to get the Morpho-Mobile out of the impound. Monarch wants to take the Morpho-Scooters, but Henchman 21 points out that they don’t' have room for them in the trunk. They don't have a Morpho-Copter, so they'll have to use MetroCards.

On Meteor Majeure, Dr. Mrs. The Wife tells the other Council members via hologram that Billy claims that Rusty and Brock weren't there when Haranguetan was murdered, but he was foggy on the details. Billy described the killer as Blue Morpho, and Phantom Limb points out that the vigilante has been dead for decades. Dr. Z figures that there is a new Blue Morpho, or Billy is lying. Dr. Mrs. The Wife wants to get the surveillance tapes, and Wide Wale suggests that he'll check the bugs that he planted during his last visit. She tells him to check it out while she breaks the news to Haranguetan's widow.

Watch and Ward drive Dr. Mrs. The Widow to the widow's bar. She tells them to wait it the car and goes to bar, and Mrs. Haranguetan says that she hasn't seen her husband in over a week. When Dr. Mrs the Wife breaks the news, Mrs. Battleaxe Haranguetan breaks into tears. She demands to know who killed her husband, and demands the keys for her husband's battle tank, the Haranguetank. Dr. Mrs. The Wife says that she didn't find it, and Battleaxe demands that they return it to her before breaking into tears again.

Dean is attending philosophy class when his teacher, Professor Nidaba, gets a message that he's cleared to arch Rusty. He keeps Dean after class and says that his paper is terrible. Nidaba wonders why Dean is distracted, and Dean explains that people keep breaking into his penthouse. The professor suggests that Dean avoid the penthouse that night between 9 and 10:30 so he can focus on tomorrow's exam. A puzzled Dean agrees and leaves, and Nidaba checks on his hidden battle tank.

That night, Dr. Mrs. The Wife returns to Battleaxe's bar and says that she found the tickets. The NYPD towed it to the impound because of unpaid parking tickets. Battleaxe breaks into tears and worries that she shouldn't be driving, and Dr. Mrs. The wife reluctantly volunteers to go with her. While she waits, Dr. Mrs. The Wife checks her email and receives the video of Haranguetan's death. Before she can check it, Battleaxe comes out in her Battleaxe battle costume.

At the impound yard, Blue Morpho and Kano dart the guard unconscious and go inside.

Pirate Captain is on TV with interviewer Ms. Warrington, who is secretly Warriana. Brock is in the lobby watching the show where Pirate Captain is insisting that the video they have of the God Gas was a joke video. Nidaba drives his tank up the side of the building.

In the penthouse, Rusty is on the phone to Billy. Nidaba arrives on the patio and cycles up his cannon.

Brock hears the explosion and spots the security breach on the CCTVs.

Blue Morpho and Kano look for the Morpho-Mobile,

As the guard wakes up, Battleaxe smashes in and knocks him unconscious. She says that she hates coopers and refuses to pay the tickets.

Nidaba wheels into the apartment, and Rusty calls for Brock. Brock tells him to get into the panic room, and Rusty warns that it's not an option. Nidaba orders Rusty to sit down and says that he plans to enjoy the game now that he's matched against a Level 10 Adversary. He then sets out a chessboard and challenges rusty to a game of wits. Rusty says that he's a Parcheesi man and complains that being arched is getting old. He calls the Guild and complains about the new arch. Meanwhile, the elevator rings and Nidaba opens fire. Brock has already snuck out and tries to kill Nidaba, but he uses his force field to repel him. Meanwhile, Watch and Ward put Rusty on hold and play music.

Battleaxe finds the Haranguetank filled with empty bottles and the smell of Chinese cigarettes. As they go inside, they hear Blue Morpho trip on a bottle. Dr. Mrs. The Wife sees him, and he sees his wife and runs off.

Brock manages to pierce Nidaba's force field, and threatens to bleed on him if he severs his artery by strengthening the force field. Nidaba shoots him in the chest, blasting him off the balcony, while Rusty waits on hold.

Brock wakes up and discovers that he landed on Warriana. She apologizes for being weird that minute, and explains that she's not big on pillow talk. Brock mentions Nidaba and Warriana flies back to get revenge.

Dr. Mrs. The wife searches the impound garage for Blue Morpho, while Battleaxe tries to use Dr. Mrs. The Wife's laptop to check her email. She brings up the video of Haranguetan's death.

Blue Morpho and Kano hide in the Morpho-Mobile, and Dr. Mrs. The Wife finds them. Kano starts up the car and Dr. Mrs. The Wife points out that there's a boot on the car.

Battleaxe refuses to watch Haranguetan die and shuts down the laptop. However, she watches it anyway and sees the masked and bearded Blue Morpho and Rusty in the lobby, and figures that Blue Morpho is Rusty in disguise.

The bulletproof windows on the Morpho-Mobile repel Dr. Mrs. The Wife's bullet, and Kano accidentally activates the flight mode on the cover. She runs to the Haranguetank, but Battleaxe drives out after rusty before Dr. Mrs. The Wife can get in. She runs to the limo and tells Watch and Ward to follow the flying Morpho-Mobile.

After he gets cut off, Rusty goes back inside and sees Brock and Warriana defeating Nidaba. Nidaba complains that they're holding an unsanctioned team-up, and Warriana lassos Brock and forces him to admit that he liked sex with her.

The Morpho-Mobile soars over the city and Blue Morpho wants to swing by the Venture Tower so he can take a dump in his pool. Dr. Mrs. The Wife realizes that he's heading for the Venture Tower, just as Blue Morpho flies over and takes a dump as promised.

Battleaxe drives through the city, promising bloody vengeance on Rusty.

Hank and Neal pull up to the Venture Building and see Nidaba outside, hailing a taxi. Watch and ward swerve and just miss them, and then swerve and avoid the Haranguetank. Battleaxe rams into Nidaba and they fall into the hole in the lobby. Rusty looks down, and Dr. Mrs. The Wife sees him and figures that he's Blue Morpho.

The next morning, Dr. Mrs. The Wife returns home and is impressed by the vestibule. She joins Monarch in bed and apologizes for insulting him earlier. She assures her husband that he's not the enemy... and figures that she knows who her enemy is.

Written by Gadfly on Feb 29, 2016

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