The War at Home - Episode Guide

When 16-year-old Hillary wants to date an older guy, Dave puts his foot down, so Hillary brings home a new "study buddy." Meanwhile, Dave and Vicky have trouble understanding their son Larry, who has some fun dragging things out.

In order to understand why Larry dressed in women's clothing, Vicky turns to an old boyfriend via the Internet for advice, which upsets Dave when he finds out. But Dave's been secretly doing some e-mailing of his own, and when Vicky finds an I.M. for him from "Lonely Lady In Michigan," he's got some explaining to do. Meanwhile, Hillary is upset about something but won't turn to Vicky for advice like she used to do.

Dave is sure that the reason Hillary has been so nice to him lately is because she is having sex. But when Mike does some spying and Dave finds out that he's wrong, he's then sure it's because she's been smoking pot - his pot, when his stash goes missing. He confronts her and when she denies it he accidentally lets her know that he has a stash, which he says he's holding for Vicky's mother, Betty, to use for medicinal purposes

Vicky invites Taye's family over for a barbecue, but Dave doesn't get along with Taye's father, Omar, who's a wealthy, well-educated, African-American surgeon, and Dave ends up offending him with what are perceived as racist comments. At Vicky's insistence, Dave apologizes to Omar and has a great day at Omar's exclusive country club, only to find out when he gets home that Hillary and Taye's relationship is on the rocks. Meanwhile, Mike is worried when blisters appear on his penis and Dave's remedy for what is determined to be chronic masturbation only makes things worse.

When Hillary asks Vicky about sex, Dave flips out and makes plans to take the entire family to the city for dinner and a musical on a Saturday night to prevent Hillary from going out with a boy. Meanwhile, Kenny struggles to accept Larry's new girlfriend and begins to plant "seeds of doubt" in hopes of breaking them up.

When Hillary's friend gets breast implants, Hillary wants them, too. Dave and Vicky are against the idea, as Dave argues that it's what you're like on the inside that counts. However, his motto is tested when he meets Larry's new girlfriend, Marla, who is overweight and not particularly attractive. As a result, Dave struggles between convincing his daughter that appearance isn't everything and telling his son he can do better.

When Dave and Vicky catch Hillary and her friend Brenda drunk in their kitchen in the middle of the night, Vicky decides to eliminate alcohol in the household so as not be a negative influence on the kids. However, Prohibition lasts only two days before Vicky and Dave succumb to free pitchers of margaritas with some friends and come home a little more giggly than usual. Needless to say, their buzz is killed when they face an embarrassed Hillary and Brenda's strict and judgmental parents at their doorstep. Meanwhile, Mike becomes a vegetarian after accidentally shooting a pigeon.

Dave fears that the kids are getting away with far too much, and when talking to them doesn't work, he institutes a zero-tolerance, pro-spanking policy. Of course, they think he's all talk and naively call his bluff. When a humiliated Larry, the first recipient of one of Dave's spankings, moves in with Kenny, Child Protective Services is called, and it's Dave who's in for a real "spanking".

After Larry lands a leading role in the high school production of "Annie Get Your Gun," Dave is disgruntled over Larry's lack of interest in masculine activities. Then, after catching him kiss what appears to be another guy, Dave and Vicky are convinced that their son is gay, but their assumption gets Larry into trouble and quickly ruins his game. Meanwhile, after punching a girl at school, Hilary gets dumped by Taye and must deal with her new "player-hater" image.

A family dinner gets out of hand when Grandma Betty brings over her new beau. After Dave discovers that she is spending loads of cash on him, he freaks that he is losing his future inheritance and accuses Gradma's boyfriend of being a gigolo. Meanwhile, Vicky and Dave hatch a plan to break up Hillary and Keith by showing her how difficult it is to raise a baby. And Larry's interest in baseball cards at first encourages Dave - until he learns that Larry is using the information to sell Dave's cards on eBay.

When Mike scores high on a test and is given the option of taking the honors class, Vicky is inspired to be more ambitious and tries to return to her fashion-executive lifestyle. After hearing that her salary would increase, Dave's all for it until household duties are sacrificed for Vicky's new career. Meanwhile, after submitting Kenny's poem as his own, Larry takes a little too much credit.

With Vicky working more hours at her new job, the house is a shambles as the family tries to adjust to her new working life. Larry becomes the maid and mother-figure and Dave is having a tough time dealing with the things Vicky used to handle. When Mike and Hillary get into trouble, Dave's temper only makes matters worse. However, changes at the office make Vicky second-guess her decision to try and have it all.

Vicky's old college friend, Jodi, pays a visit. Now that Jodi is sober and making amends for her past wrongdoings, Dave is terrified she'll confess that they slept together in college - but it's Dave who's in for a rude awakening when Jodi apologizes for seducing someone else entirely. Meanwhile, Hillary is failing classes, and the boys conspire to ogle a naked woman.

Dave discovers a pregnancy test in the trash and suspects Hillary - only to find out that a depressed and out-of-work Vicky has gone off the pill. Completely opposed to having another kid, Dave plays Mr. Fix-It, helping Vicky to pursue job opportunities - with lackluster results. Meanwhile, Larry throws himself into a spelling bee competition, and Mike's lazy streak forces him to buy Hillary's old book reports from the days when she had good grades.

After finding a crumbled-up note with despondent scribbling on it in Mike's room, Dave and Vicky are convinced that Mike is unhappy and try to pamper him out of his depressed state. Mike plays along with their suspicion and milks it for all its worth, but the truth comes out when he's forced to see a therapist, who sees right through his lies. Meanwhile, Larry is upset that Mike is getting all the attention when he is the son who actually needs help, and Hillary takes a sexual experience survey for class.

With Vicky and Hillary's menstrual cycles in full swing, Dave must deal with constant mood swings and PMS. After having to take Hillary to the dreaded gynecologist's office, Dave realizes that her doctor is his old friend, who was quite the ladies' man in high school. Needless to say, Dr. Vogel's professional relationship with the family gets personal when Dave doesn't believe Dr. Vogel has changed his player ways. Meanwhile, after Mike calls Larry a nobody, Larry does whatever it takes to gain the respect of his brother.

When Dave gets hit on by an attractive saleswoman at work, he believes he is still a catch for the younger ladies. However, he is quickly brought back to earth when he finds out she was actually checking him out for her mother. On the other hand, Vicky attracts males of all ages when she visits Mike's class for career day and Hillary is attracted to Kenny's sensitive side.

When Mike asks for a bar mitzvah, Dave initially believes he's only in it for the party and the gifts. However, after Mike studies Hebrew and expresses true interest in Judaism, Dave and Vicky support his request to have the traditional coming-of-age ceremony. Meanwhile, Hillary also wants to be Jewish after meeting Mike's hot Hebrew tutor and Larry gains the confidence to ask out an attractive girl at school.

When Hillary sprains her ankle skiing and lands in the emergency room, a furious Dave becomes even angrier when he realizes Vicky gave her approval for the ski trip without his consent. But when they arrive at the hospital and learn that Hillary lied to the both of them, their argument turns into an all-out war. Meanwhile, Larry awaits a phone call from a girl and Mike takes advantage of the situation to get an older woman.

Dave takes the family on a trip to visit his parents in Florida because it won't cost him anything. However, Mike hates to fly, Vicky hates his parents and Hillary wants to stay in town so a boy won't forget her. The only one excited about going is Larry, who has started on a weight-loss program so he will look good in his Speedo. Things go from bad to worse when their ride to the airport cancels, Hillary's new nipple ring is discovered by security in front of a furious Vicky and Dave is searched by security. At the condo, Dave is continuously belittled by his dad, similar to the way he treats his own son Larry, and he wants to turn around and fly home minutes after arriving.

When Vicky refuses to buy Larry Ice Capades tickets, he runs away from home hoping she'll give in so he can see Brian Boitano star as Bilbo Baggins in "The Lord of the Rings" on ice. A disbelieving Vicky holds her ground, but when she realizes Larry really did leave town, she questions her parenting skills. Meanwhile, Dave tries to support Hillary in a fight with one of her friends but when it backfires on him, Dave and Vicky get tired of parenting and ditch the kids.

When Dave takes Hillary out for driving lessons and she gets pulled over for reckless driving, Dave takes the blame, thinking that Hillary will be forever grateful. When this fatherly act leads to a DUI arrest for Dave and Hillary isn't appreciative, Dave goes to court to straighten things out. Meanwhile, Vicky forgets to register Larry for Shakespeare camp, and Dave and Mike take up online poker.

As school starts up again, Dave is excited that the kids will be out of the house until he and Vicki realize that all of them have their own agendas. Mike questions his current romantic relationship, which upsets Dave because the girl involved is the daughter of Dave's new best friend. But when Dave meddles in Mike's life for the sake of his "man-crush" on the girl's father, he does unexpected damage. Meanwhile, Hilary changes her study habits after catching a glimpse of her future and Larry reinvents himself for the new school year.

When Larry decides to run for president, Dave is supportive of his son's interest in leadership, until he learns that Larry is actually running for president of the Chess Club. Dave makes a strategic move to prevent Larry from becoming the biggest geek in school. Meanwhile, Hillary thinks she's going to become the next pop star, and after finding an empty condom wrapper in Mike's pants, Dave and Vicki face the dreaded sex talk.

When Kenny's dad cancels on taking the boys to a comic book convention, Larry asks Dave to take them instead. At first, Dave refuses but after hearing Larry call him a hero, he quickly decides to be a good father and take the boys. But when his fatherly duties go beyond simply dropping them off, Dave is pushed to the limit when it means missing the Jets football game and pretending he's a comic book geek. Back at home, Vicky introduces Mike to coffee and Hillary wants to have a sleepover with a guy.

Dave and Vicky decide to give Hillary the car she wants as long as she agrees to sign a contract so they can completely control her life. She reluctantly signs, but Dave and Vicky realize they may have gone too far with the restrictions. Meanwhile Larry goes against the "bros before hos" code and dates Mike's ex-girlfriend, Heidi.

Dave and Vicky rush to the hospital when they find out Hillary's date overdosed, only to discover that that date was fake and Hillary is really dating an older man.

Dave accuses an incensed Hillary of cheating on her SATs after she gets a surprisingly high score. Meanwhile, Vicky and Dave meet a couple who may be interested in more than friendship, and Dave asks Larry to take a client's daughter out on a date, only to find out that she isn't an ideal match for him.

When Dave thinks he sees Hillary in a "Girls Gone Crazy" video, he's beyond relieved to learn that he's mistaken - but completely freaked out at being turned on by girls his daughter's age. After he throws out all of his "visual aids," Dave looks to Vicky for inspiration, which was fine at first, but is now starting to tire her out. Meanwhile, an edited-for-television version of "Goodfellas" inspires Larry to replace swear words with the word "love," and Hillary prevents Mike from taking drugs by passing PMS medication off as mood enhancers.

Kenny's dad, Achmed, pulls up the rose bushes between his home and Dave and Vicky's, believing the property is his after an assessment. When Dave and Vicky disagree, the two families declare war on each other, putting Larry and Kenny in the middle. Meanwhile, Hillary jokingly tells Dave to choose her next boyfriend since he's never happy with the boys she picks. Dave meets a boy who reminds him of himself, and against her better judgment, Hillary agrees to go out with him.

Dave refuses to take a wine appreciation course with Vicky, who fears they are in a rut and could use the bonding time, and then he makes fun of her when she goes without him. Meanwhile, Dave assumes Larry is serving his new, older ladyfriend more than just the gourmet meals he prepares for her, and Dave is offended that Hillary never mentions him in her video blog.

Dave is tired of Larry and Mike's constant fighting and suggests that Mike try harder to have a relationship with his brother. Much to Dave's disappointment, Mike actually prefers hanging out with Larry to practicing for basketball tryouts, and worries that Larry's nerdy ways are starting to rub off on him. Meanwhile, Hillary sets out to prove she's more than just a pretty face by trying to get a blind guy interested in dating her.

After hearing that Dave thinks he's gay, Kenny confronts him about it and ends up coming out of the closet to him. Dave advises to Kenny to tell his parents, but they don't take the news well and kick Kenny out of the house. Meanwhile, Hillary dates the blind guy she met at the coffeehouse, but she quickly tires of having to describe everything to him.

Kenny moves in to the Gold house and Vicky promptly sets out to redecorate the basement for him but her ideas don't meet his standards. Larry, Hillary and Mike try to get Kenny to tone it down and stop doing chores and laughing at Dave's bad jokes, as it's showing them up. Meanwhile, Dave lets everyone at work know he's taken in the orphaned gay kid so that he he'll look like a good guy and hopefully get the newly vacant, larger office.

As Hillary prepares for an interview with a college admissions committee, Dave puts pressure on her to do well and sets up mock interviews, which only make her more nervous. The talk of kids leaving for college makes Vicky nostalgic for the good old days when the family spent more time together, so she organizes a movie night and they all watch Al Gore's "An Inconvenient Truth." Dave finds the film profound and forces the family to live an eco-friendly existence, but he takes things too far.

Tired of the kids constantly asking him for money, Dave puts them on strict allowance. Vicky supports her husband until she, too, is put on a budget and is unable to buy the Prada boots she's had her eyes on for years. When Larry spends his entire allowance the first day at Medieval Times, he asks Mike for money and Mike turns into a loan shark, while Hillary starts an escort service for the nerdy boys at school to earn extra money.

Principal Fink suspends Larry from school for 30 days when pot is found in his jacket pocket, although it's actually Dave's jacket, which Larry wore by mistake. Dave tries home-schooling Larry, but first he and Vicky talk to a priest about enrolling him in parochial school - the same priest Mike thinks is hitting on him.

Vicky's mom Betty and her boyfriend Sid (George Segal) announce their engagement and upcoming wedding in St. Martin and invite the entire family to join them. But when Sid goes too far with a stripper, Dave wonders whether or not to tell Betty and risk losing the free trip. Kenny goes on a date with an ex-boyfriend of Hillary's so Dave has an awkward conversation with him about gay safe-sex, while Hillary worries she may have a knack for turning men gay.

The kids are excited about the school's Sadie Hawkins dance, and even Kenny has a date. Once word gets out that Kenny's planning on attending with another guy, he and his date are barred from the event for not keeping with the Sadie Hawkins tradition. An outraged Larry stages a protest against the discrimination, and Dave goes to the school to argue Kenny's case. Once Principal Fink (Martin Mull) finds out that Kenny has been living with the Golds, he informs Dave that he's obligated to tell Child Services, and that Kenny will have to be put in foster care. So Dave tries to get Kenny's parents to let him come home.

When the insurance company Dave works for begins reducing commissions and cutting back on bagel breakfasts, Dave and two of his co-workers decide to quit and start their own business. Meanwhile, Hillary isn't getting any college acceptance letters and decides to join the Army instead after meeting a cute recruiter at the coffee shop, and Larry doesn't want to get his driver's license.

Larry posts a song he composed on a website and scores a meeting with a music executive who wants him to make a demo. Dave thinks Larry needs lyrics for his instrumental compositions and offers to help, revealing that in high school he considered himself the original white rapper, "The White Shadow." Dave wants to show Larry the support his own father didn't show him. Meanwhile, Mike is tired of being mistaken for an Olsen twin and decides to bulk up. A friend tells him a way to beef up is to abstain from masturbating, and Dave and Vicky think his crankiness is due to roid-rage - but some of the tension is released when Tila Tequila pays Mike a visit in a dream. Hillary is suspicious when Taye says he loves her and she wonders if he has ulterior motives.

After Vicky and Dave have a car accident, they decide it's time to revisit their living wills and other legal documents. They also decide to ask their friends Jeff and Mindy to be guardians of their children if they ever become incapacitated. Jeff and Mindy explain that they can't accept because they've already agreed to do the same thing for other friends. Disagreements start to flair up between Vicky and Dave once they start working with an attorney, and they end up having a big fight. Larry finds a draft of a post-nup agreement and assumes his parents are getting a divorce. To save their family, he and the other kids set a "parent trap" to force Dave and Vicky back together.

Larry reveals that he suffers from social anxiety disorder and Dave and Vicky put him on medication to help him become more comfortable with who he is, but Larry refuses to take them and accuses his parents of wanting to change him. Meanwhile, as Hillary prepares for prom, Dave is convinced she plans on losing her virginity on prom night and Vicky has an awkward talk about sex with her. Dave makes fun of Mike for taking fencing class.

With Hillary's graduation only three weeks away, David and Vicky plan her graduation party, only to find out she may not even graduate because she's failing her gym class. Luckily, Dave is able to convince the principal to give her another chance, and volunteers to become Hillary's personal fitness trainer so she can pass. Meanwhile, Vicky is fed up with the lack of spontaneity in her and Dave's relationship, and she suggests that he get a vasectomy. Not wanting to go through the procedure alone, Dave suggests that Vicky get her tubes tied as well. However, both are in for a surprise when they try to outsmart one another. Meanwhile, with Mike's help, Larry and Kenny plan a school prank to get revenge on the seniors who have been harassing them.