Inside No. 9 - Episode Guide

It is the day of Rebecca and Jeremy's engagement party, and everyone (well, nearly everyone) has turned up to the old house to wish them well. Except that one of the bedrooms, the one with all the old baggage in it, has been left unlocked...

Gerald owns a beautiful house with lots of beautiful things in it. Beautiful things that are also extremely valuable. The kind of things that might just become the target of an audacious criminal enterprise.

Tom is a primary school teacher with ambitious ideas of becoming an author. When he tries to repay a good turn from a late-night caller, he gradually becomes the victim of his own generosity.

Tamsin is a very sick little girl, so Jan and Graham asked WishmakerUK to brighten up their daughter's birthday. The charity is bringing along a very special guest indeed - none other than the legendary singer Frankie J Parsons.

Tony Warner's performance as Macbeth is the toast of London's West End. It would be very bad luck indeed if he was suddenly indisposed in some way. Except for Jim, his ever-hopeful understudy, of course.

Ordinarily, Hector and Tabitha never go out as they have to look after their disabled elder brother. But tonight's event is so special that they are going to need a carer. And Katy's not going to turn down £88, is she?

Chilling comedy. On board the sleeper from Paris to Bourg St Maurice, a motley collection of passengers try to sleep as the train makes its way across France.

Christine Clarke brings a new man back to her flat from a New Year's Eve party, and immediately her life starts to unravel. Who is the terrifying stranger that keeps appearing in the flat at night?

Two witch-finders are summoned by Sir Andrew Pike to the village of Little Happens in order to try a defenceless old woman.

It's Andy's first day as a volunteer at the Comfort Support Line call centre, which offers the lonely and desperate a chance to talk about their problems. All the CSL counsellors have their own ways of dealing with clients, coping with the emotional stress and killing time between phone calls. But is Andy really prepared for what's to come?

It is Nana's special day: it isn't every day you get to be 79. She is excited about spending the afternoon with her whole family - even Pat and Jim, who both love a great practical joke. Her Angela has put on a lovely spread, including a huge cake. But as Nana says, 'Don't worry about the future: you can't predict it'.

Having never consulted the spirit world before, Tina isn't quite sure what to expect. Her visit to the spiritualist medium Madam Talbot has been arranged by her sister. Hives, Talbot's assistant in the mundane world, seems quite helpful, but there's something already waiting for Tina on the Other Side, and Hives knows all about it.

It is Austria, Krampusnacht, December 1977. Julian Devonshire, his pregnant wife Kathy, their son Toby and mother-in-law Celia arrive at the alpine chalet for a family holiday.

They are shown around by Klaus who tells the family about the local legend of The Devil of Christmas. All the good children are given gifts by St. Nicholas, and all the bad ones are punished by the demonic Krampus. But who has been good, and who has been bad?

After a tiresome game of badminton a group of friends go for a night out at a local restaurant. They indulge in some tapas and a few drinks, which sounds like a lot of fun - but ultimately somebody has to pay the bill at the end of the night.

What has started out as a pleasant evening ends with a shocking twist, as an argument about who is going to pick up the bill erupts - and then spirals out of control.

Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith lead us into another No.9 as their twisted anthology comedy series continues.

Nina thinks Professor Squires has all the answers when, actually, neither has a clue what the future holds. They commence a battle of wits to solve a crossword puzzle and reveal the guardian of their fate.

Dr Jacob Tyler joins the unravelling of the cryptic clues... but will they solve the riddle of the Sphinx?

Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith continue to rewrite the rules of comedy drama.

What better way to celebrate Roger's (Steve Pemberton) promotion than a full-on, old-school karaoke session? An evening of hopes, dreams, intrigue, romance, betrayal and an awful lot of singing.

A couple's world is changed forever by a seemingly chance find in a local street, in the penultimate film of the series.

David, Louise and their daughter all live in their lovely house. But when David brings home a single black shoe, the new arrival becomes a life-changing obsession that threatens to come between all of them.

In the final Inside No.9 of the series, Steve Pemberton and Reece Shearsmith find themselves in a mysteriously exclusive art exhibition.

It's the night of Elliot Quinn's valedictory show, Fragments. An unlikely group of individuals find themselves in The Nine Gallery in East London for champagne, canapés, and cutting-edge culture. However, the guests soon realise they are trapped within the exhibition.

Proposals, plots and prostitutes combine for a comedy of errors on floor nine. Welcome to London's Hotel Zanzibar.

It's been 30 years since Northern double-act Len and Tommy last appeared on stage together, that fateful night at the Glasgow Pavilion. Then Tommy walked out on Len, and that was curtains for Cheese & Crackers.

Until now - and one last gig in front of an invited audience.

According to the Holmes & Rahe Stress Scale, the three most stressful experiences in life are the death of a spouse, divorce, and imprisonment.

Moving house is only 32nd on the list. But anything could happen in the last ten minutes. And the ten minutes before that, in fact. Not to mention the first 10 minutes.

Adrian spends his time photographing other couples' weddings, but his own marriage to Harriet is far from happy. Can they renew their vows, spice up their love life and make a fresh start, or have they just run out of love, trust and time?

Will it be the star, the dame, the girl next door or the ingénue? Only one of them can win. We join the jury in their deliberations for the Television Awards, at the headquarters of the Royal Academy of Motion Picture Arts.

A shortlist of eight great performances, but on the night only one actress will be thanking the jury in their acceptance speech.

A hoarder's flat, a blood-stained floor and an inescapable curse from beyond the grave. All in an ordinary day's work for council contractors Keith, Nick and Maz.

When Arthur Flitwick finds an old mobile phone in his local graveyard, he makes the mistake of trying to contact the owner. But some mysteries are best left unsolved, and as Halloween draws near Arthur is plunged into a nightmare of his own making. It seems that no good deed can go unpunished, in this world or the next.

The crunch clash between United and Rovers all safely in the care of four match officials. Promotion, relegation, corruption and so, so much more.

Beattie and Sam are a young couple finally on the property ladder. But the only flat they can afford has a dark and sinister past, a past that demands to be heard.

Trevor and Julia always want to make Christmas really special for their family but this year, with money so tight, things aren't going to be easy. As each door of the advent calendar opens, everyone will have to do their bit to make Christmas happen.

World-famous magician Neville Griffin is extremely protective of his secrets, but student journalist Gabriel is determined to get his interview nonetheless. Griffin actually believes that stealing a magic trick is probably worse than murder. How would he know that, exactly?

Seven disparate characters share their stories with a camera, their fates inevitably, inextricably and unknowingly set for a head-on collision.

Two police officers have time to get to know each other on the night shift. But PC Thompson's previous partner died in a brutal attack less than a month ago, the forensics have gone missing and PC Varney is beginning to ask a lot of awkward questions.

Pantalone is planning the heist of the century – a tasty twelve mil in rough cut diamonds. But if you're going to hire a bunch of complete clowns to carry out a robbery, and half of them are planning to double-cross the other half, you've not just got a recipe for disaster, you've actually got the ingredients of a Tarantino Commedia dell'Arte.

Everyone says the Season 7 finale of fantasy epic The Ninth Circle was pretty disappointing; even show-runner Spencer Maguire is keen to move on to new projects. But not everyone thinks that it has to be the end of the matter. In fact, Ninth Circle obsessive Simon Smethurst decides to visit his hero to help put things right. Because that's what the fans would want…

Felix is pretty certain his wife is up to something with her boss Dmitri, so he decides to hire some help to prove things one way or the other. When professional lip-reader Iris arrives with her powerful binoculars, the couple stake out a hotel bedroom and start to gather their evidence.

Actor James is waiting for his big moment on the set of ITV's prestigious new crime drama, and this holding area should be the ideal place to relax and go over all three of his lines - except he's actually in a static caravan owned by Oona and Stan. The more he learns about this couple and their strange daughter, the more disconcerted he becomes.

Webster, the famous barrister, is not well and not an easy man to look after. His carer Urban knows how to take the rough with the smooth, dishing out the drugs or appealing to the old man's vanity. But on this particular night, something is coming that will test Webster's resolve and legal skills to the very end.

Dawn and Mick are hosting their annual Last Night of the Proms party, the perfect antidote to post-Brexit Britain. But not everyone is singing from the same song sheet.

Laurence has arranged a reunion with his old university chums Callum and Darren at a remote lake. It's not quite what they were expecting, and Darren has even brought along his new girlfriend. But a lot of water has passed under the bridge since their college days, and as they strike out across the empty lake, the conversation takes them into choppier waters.

Alan arrives at a small village primary school in rural Wales. Passionate about teaching, he throws himself into the new job but finds himself overshadowed by his charismatic and much-loved predecessor, Mr. King.

Hard-as-nails Detective Inspector Katrina, a divorcee and single mum, is determined to crack the case of the missing boy. But there's also her drinking, her love life and her inner demons. She doesn't want help, but it turns up anyway.

Shane and Clifford have a plan to abduct the wife of a wealthy hedge fund manager. If he won't pay them the money, they'll snip her ears off to prove they mean business. Everything in the plan depends on everyone playing their part right to the end. It's totally foolproof - isn't it?

Helen and her teenage son Zach don't really get on, until a random act of kindness brings the mysterious Bob to their front door. He seems to understand their problems and offers to help. But what effect will spending time with this kindly stranger have on their lives?

Everyone remembers the Wise Owl, of course - the bossy cartoon bird keeping children safe back in the 1970s. Those old information films had a lasting effect on all of us, especially Ronnie, who has spent his entire life trying to do the right thing. But what is right? And what is wrong?

Dr. Jasper Parkway has booked an overnight stay in a reputedly haunted church on Christmas Eve. However, much to his dismay, he is soon joined by unwanted guests Pierce and Posy, who have even brought their own sleeping bags. Together with the eccentric warden Dick, it doesn't look like Jasper is going to be lonely this Christmas. Even though sherry, biscuits and Yuletide phantoms are on offer, why is Jasper so keen to be left to his own devices?

East End villains Harry and Annie Blackwood were rotten to the core and did some truly horrible things when they were alive. What secrets did they take to their grave? Their sons plan to find out.

Gareth is definitely going to be working from home today. Just to be on the safe side. He doesn't want to push his luck. Because today just happens to be Friday the 13th.

You get to meet all sorts when you go online dating, as Vicky's about to find out. Will she finally meet her perfect match? Or will she be talking to the Lonely Hearts Killer?

In a replacement to the advertised programme, three threesomes compete for the big cash prize in this new general knowledge quiz presented by Lee Mack.

Joe and Chas have been together for nine years. It's a long time to be truly in love with someone. But how long does it take to properly say goodbye?

Late-night passengers get stuck in a tunnel when their train breaks down. Patiently, they wait for the replacement service until a nurse gets her purse stolen and tempers start to fray.

Blake saves a man from leaping to his death from a bridge. Soaked through and in need of a hot drink, the poor guy probably just needs someone to talk to. Blake is a qualified psychotherapist, so that's good. But is it a good idea to bring a complete stranger back to his remote house in the middle of nowhere?

The digital special, The Inventors, is an extra stand-alone story which features Andy and Dennis who've found it hard to let go since losing their mum in the Great Storm of 1987. Now with their dad dead too, Dennis reckons it's time to sell their parents' flat, but Andy has a better idea: an invention that might just save the day.

The episode was released on 2014-02-12 at the dedicated website www.insideno9extra.co.uk