Guest Stars Amanda Michalka as Lainey Lewis Jennifer Irwin as Virginia Kremp Mindy Sterling as Linda Schwartz Stephanie Courtney as Essie Karp Alison Rich as Valley Erica Rob Huebel as John Calabasas Co Starring Lew Schneider as Announcer The Sucklord as Morgan The Toy Clerk Uncredited Patton Oswalt voices Narrator / Adult Adam Goldberg