Guest Stars Nick Swardson as Terry Bernadino Jack Plotnick as Steve Marmella Patton Oswalt as Jeff Spoder Ken Marino as Deaf Tattoo Artist Paul Rudd as Ethan the Drug Lord Toby Huss as Glen the Desk Clerk Mindy Sterling as Spoder's Mom David Koechner as Sheriff of Aspen Danny DeVito as District Attorney Joe Lo Truglio as Tattoo Shop Owner #2 Paul Reubens as Sir Terrence Oscar Nuñez as Jose Jose Jose Michael Ian Black as Ron of Ron's Tattoo Irina Voronina as Russian Model Brian T. Finney as Decontamination Guy Steve Little as Drug Lord's Second Hostage Chris Tallman as Alligator Expert Alejandra Gutierrez as Miss Acapulco Floyd Van Buskirk as Proctologist Marisa Petroro as Drug Lord's Girlfriend Ian Roberts as Captain Rogers, DHS David Wain as Breen the Plumber Kathryn Fiore as Cheyenne the Helicopter Model Dave Holmes as Persnickety Desk Worker Michael Hoback as Barry Baum Matthew Budds as Clapping Cop Shanti Hall as Hot Paramedic Kathryn Smith as Jello Wrestler Todd Holoubek as Tattooed Guy Tamara Fox Meyerson as Tammy Michael H. Clark as Bus Driver Kevin Allison as Tattoo Victim Eric Price as Wrestling Referee Michael Patrick Jann as Tattoo Shop Owner #1 Cathy Shim as Spring Break Dream Girl Kyle Dunnigan as Drug Lord's First Hostage Brandon Molale as Kevlar Guy Lennie Loftin as Chief of Police Michael Showalter as Paul Uncredited Dwayne Johnson as Rick Smith, SWAT