Red Dwarf - Episode Guide

On board the mining ship Red Dwarf deep in space are Dave Lister and Arnold Rimmer. Two crew members that are the exact opposite of each other. Dave, a carefree slob and Arnold a neat, precise Smeghead. After a accident to the ship where Lister is the only survivor, things start getting interesting. With Holly, the ships computer that has a IQ of 6000, Dave is about to discover life as he never imagined.

Rimmer gets upset because Lister is planning on going into stasis for the rest of the trip. While getting ready for stasis strange things start to happen. Rimmer starts to talk to someone that is not there, Lister see's a photo appear of him with 2 kids.

It's Saturday night and Lister wants to party while Arnold Rimmer insists on doing a inventory count of the ships supplies. When Lister objects Rimmer hides his cigarette supply somewhere on the ship. Lister wants Rimmer to let Holly swap his hologram out with Kochanski's for one night but Rimmer is afraid Dave will not put him back into the hologram. Dave also plans on taking a test so he can gain rank and out rank Rimmer.

Rimmer talks Holly into telling him the information that Captain Hollister put into Lister and his personal files. Holly informs Rimmer about a unidentified object heading for Red Dwarf and Rimmer brings the pod on board. Lister follows Cat to see where he goes when he disappears off the ships sensors.

Lister goes down to a lower deck that Rimmer was supposed to clear of radiation and ends up sick. Because of the sickness, two personalities of his manifest as solid forms. One as Confidence and the other pure Paranoia.

Lister wants Holly to load Kochanski's hologram up as a 2nd hologram, Rimmer decides that another hologram of himself would be much better and hides Kochanski's record tapes.

After picking up a distress call, Lister, Rimmer and Cat get all spiffed up expecting to met the first women they have seen in who knows how long. A surprise is in store for all of them.

The crew gets a mail pod from Earth, Rimmer gets bad news. The pod also contains a video game called "Better Than Life" and they try it out.

The crew goes on a bender on a small moon, after they return Rimmer gets depressed about his love life. Lister then shares one of his memories with Rimmers hologram tape and has Holly set Rimmer up so he thinks it is his memory.

The guys find a stasis leak on level 16, Rimmer uses it to try and warn his earlier self about the crew dying so he will not become a hologram.

Right as things are getting extremely boring and monotonous Holly announces that he is being replaced by another computer hologram operating system named Queeg. Queeg is extremely strict and a stickler for following rules.

Holly invents the Holly Hop drive that is supposed to take them back to Earth and instead they end up in a parallel universe on a parallel Red Dwarf where everything is the opposite of our universe.

Rimmer is giving Kryten a driving lesson in Red Dwarfs Starbug and they end up going through a time hole in space. Kryten and Rimmer then land on a parallel Earth where the time stream flows backwards. Dave and Cat go in search of them.

When Holly believes a disaster is about to occur, she calls a "Abandon Ship". Lister and Rimmer end up crashing one of the Starbugs on a ice moon with limited supplies and nothing but ice outside.

A genetically engineered shape changing creature comes on board and starts sucking the crews emotions out of them one by one.

A skutter goes berserk and rewires all the ship's circuitry. So when Lister orders a chocolate bar from one of the snack dispensers, he accidentally triggers off the ship's self-destruct sequence. There is only one way to diffuse the bomb, but it involves Lister lending his body to a female officer. This gets Rimmer thinking...

The crew of the Red Dwarf run amok through history, blithely ignoring the consequences of causality. When Kryten discovers some mutated developing fluid which prints photographs the crew can walk into, they find they are able to change their pasts.

Kryten discovers his built-in expiry date is almost up and he has less than twenty-four hours to live. The crew are determined to give the mechanoid the best night of his life. For the first time, he experiences true pleasure and wants to delay his ascent into Silicon Heaven, the resting place for all electrical appliances. Then his replacement shows up..

Kryten, Red Dwarf's on board mechanoid, rescues a female droid - Camille - from a crashed vessel. She's a 4000 series just like him, only a GTi model with realistic toes and a slide-back sunroof head. Kryten finds himself falling in advanced mutual compatibility on the basis of a primary ident (what humans call "love at first sight") only to find that true advanced mutual compatibility never runs in a non-glitch, bug-free way.

The crew lock on to an unidentified craft containing the ultimate genetic engineering technology - a machine that can transform any living thing into any other living thing, by re-writing its DNA. A blessing or a curse? Then Lister's curry finds its way into the transmogrifier and assumes near-human form.

Innate justice does not exist anywhere in the known universe except, that is, for Justice World, an abandoned penal colony equipped with a "justice field" which inflicts the consequences of a crime on its perpetrator. The innocent have nothing to fear. Rimmer is in big trouble.

Holly regains her genius level IQ and for reasons best known to herself powers down the ship, leaving the crew drifting helplessly towards a White Hole. Will Rimmer sacrifice his hologramatic life to save the rest of the crew?

In a universe almost identical to our own, another Arnold Rimmer exists. A test pilot in the Space Corps, he is charming, popular, brave and modest. After his test craft breaks the speed of reality, he finds himself face to face with his counterpart aboard Red Dwarf.

A matter transporter whisks the crew to Waxworld - a giant theme park, where the waxdroids have broken their programming, and are running amok. Hitler, Caligula and the Boston Strangler lead an army of darkness against the forces of Elvis, Gandhi and Stan Laurel.

Rimmer is transmitted from Red Dwarf to the advanced Holoship "Enlightenment" which contains the cream of the Space Corps. Everything he has dreamed of exists on this ship. Can he earn a commission to join this fantastic vessel?

The Inquisitor roams through Time weeding out life's wastrels and deleting the worthless - the Red Dwarf crew are in big, big trouble.

Rimmer is taken prisoner inside his own mind and ends up being stripped, oiled, manacled, licked, chained, taunted, humiliated and nearly has a knobbly thing the size of a Mexican agarve cactus jammed up where only customs men dare to probe.

After an encounter at a viral research centre, Rimmer forces the crew to spend twelve weeks in quarantine. But who's watching the watcher?

Who knows what evil lurks within the hearts of men? The Red Dwarf crew find out when they encounter their dark sides - four evil "doppelgangers" hell bent on their destruction.

The crew of Red Dwarf discover an abandoned space ship on an ocean bed but suddenly the salvage operation doesn't sound quite so sexy when they realise all of the occupants of the vessel committed suicide. Attack by a gigantic sea monster makes escape the favourite option.

In pursuit of the stolen Red Dwarf, Lister and Co are attacked by Psirens - creatures who lure space-farers to their deaths with a lethal combination of telepathic manipulation and scanty clothing.

Supplies are low. The water has been recycled so often, it's beginning to taste like Dutch lager. Then a malfunctioning guidance beam drags the Dwarfers to a deserted space station...

Kryten contracts a deadly computer virus, and Rimmer and Co are forced to enter his electronic mindscape. They find themselves in a wild west town, facing a gunfight against metaphysical gunslingers.

The Dwarfers need replacement engine parts from the fearsome stomach-churningly ugly "Kinitawowi". But the GELF tribe are interested in only one trade: Lister must marry the chief's daughter.

Trapped aboard a disintegrating ship, Rimmer abandons his crewmates, taking the only remaining escape pod. As he accelerates towards a nearby wormhole, he discovers the pod has no steering controls.

When an identical ship materialises alongside Starbug, the crew are alarmed to receive an SOS call from themselves fifteen years into the future.

The crew are dead, slain by their future selves in the cliff-hanger that ended series six. But coming back from the dead is a piece of cake compared to the real dilemma confronting Lister - the curry supplies have been destroyed and he's three million light years from the nearest poppadom. Unable to face cold turkey vindaloo style, he ignores causality and goes back in time intending to order "500 vindaloos to go" but winds up in Dallas, in November 1963, where he accidentally pushes a gunman out of a fifth floor window.

Rimmer's much more dashing alter ego, Ace Rimmer, arrives on Starbug terminally wounded. He asks Rimmer to take his place as the swashbuckling guardian of the Universe. Reluctantly Rimmer has to turn him down as he's too busy cataloguing his shoe collection.

When two realities converge, the Dwarfers undergo their most terrifying ordeal yet - they bump into a real, live, human woman who's attractive and nice. It's Lister's ex-girlfriend Kristine Kochanski. Kryten immediately goes into jealousy overload mode, convinced she'll steal Lister away from him, and starts plotting her immediate return to her own dimension.

When the generator and its back-up go down in the middle of the night, the crew have to crawl through the mile long labyrinth of service ducts to restart their engines. On their journey they discover a few surprising things about one another. Including what Lister once did on top of a crate of canned asparagus.

Lister finds himself missing Rimmer - until Kryten takes him on "The Rimmer Experience", a virtual reality ride featuring highlights of the departed crewmember's much-loathed life.

Kochanski takes the crew into the Artificial Reality suite and transports them to Pride and Prejudice World hoping to educate them in the subtleties of this literary masterpiece. Dream on.

A strange, intelligent virus has impregnated Lister. He tries to set up a communication link with the disease to sweet-talk it into not killing him, but when this doesn't work, he realises that he'll have to submit to Kochanski's disarmingly simple cure.

The crew searches for nanobots in a laundry hamper to restore Lister to his pre-viral state. What they find is the answer to who stole their spaceship, Red Dwarf, and why.

Not only have the nanobots recreated Red Dwarf, they've also populated the ship with its original crew. This is extremely good news for Rimmer.

Rimmer is invited to dinner with the Captain and to make the evening go with a swing douses himself with the "Sexual Magnetism Virus" making himself irresistible to the female crew.

The Dwarfers face two years in the brig for crimes against the Space Corps. Realising their defence has more holes than Lister's underpants they escape to prove their innocence.

Taking Holly's advice Lister joins the "Canaries" - a battle hardened convict army trained to go on suicide missions, and not, as he thought, the prison choir!

Kryten starts his own pirate TV station to entertain the prisoners.

When Rimmer and Lister are forced to take on the guards in a basketball game they sabotage the opposition's half-time juice with 'Boing' - the virility enhancement drug.

The Dwarfers discover birds are descended from dinosaurs when they de-evolve a sparrow into a T-Rex!

Rimmer crosses into a mirror universe where he discovers another version of himself captaining the ship.

Nine years later the Red Dwarf crew are older but still none the wiser. Lister's busy day of annoying Rimmer is interrupted by the discovery of a dimension-hopping leviathan in the ship's mile-deep water tank.

Rimmer's replacement, Katerina, is determined to guide Lister back to his home planet. But Earth in 2009 is not everything the boys had expected, and Rimmer has no intention of being replaced.

Knowing they are destined to die, the Dwarfers head to a mysterious address in London to plead for more life.

Rimmer receives an SOS Distress Call from a doomed ship commanded by his all-conquering brother, Howard. But Rimmer can't bring himself to save Howard until he's on an equal footing career-wise. He has 15 hours to pass his Astro-Nav exam and become an Officer. The same exam he's already failed nine times.

Every year Lister sends himself a Father's Day card to celebrate the fact that he is his own father; but when Rimmer points out he's been a lousy father to himself, Lister decides to do something about it. Meanwhile, Rimmer and Kryten install a new computer: the beautiful - but lethally logical - Pree.

Marooned in Britain in 23 AD, the Dwarfers need an 8-volt battery to power up their Returner Remote and get home. Remembering a lesson from school, Rimmer suggests they make a battery out of lemons - but the nearest lemon to Britain in 23 AD is in India, 4,000 miles away. They begin their journey, a journey that will ultimately lead them to a meeting with a historical A List Celebrity that could alter the entire history of civilisation.

Lister loses Rimmer in a game of poker to a group of Biologically Engineered Life Forms and in return gets an unwanted gift: a groinal exploder programmed to detonate in 24 hours unless Lister pays his debts. Meanwhile Kryten and Cat become quantum entangled and do everything in perfect unison.

Lister has women trouble when he gets himself in a love triangle with Snack Dispensers 23 and 34; then, to make matter worse, gets a letter from an old girlfriend telling him she's pregnant and it might be his. Lister and Rimmer hunt through the mountain of letters from the mail pod to discover if Lister is finally a dad.

Hiding in an Asteroid, surrounded by a Simulant Death Ship and a fleet of Annihilators, the Dwarfers begin to wonder whether this is the beginning of the end. Only one man can save them. Unfortunately, that man is Arnold J Rimmer.

The Dwarfers find themselves in an alternative version of America where modern technology is prohibited, making Rimmer and Kryten illegal. The Dwarfers infiltrate the tech savvy underground and try to bring down the authoritarian regime.

When the Dwarfers investigate a crashed ship at the bottom of an ocean moon, Lister and Cat become trapped together and Lister's nightmare begins. Meantime Rimmer and Kryten discover the ship is controlled by a dark force.

After an altercation with a deranged droid Lister has his kidneys organ-napped. The only solution is to ask Cat, the most selfish creature in the universe, to give him one of his.

After a scandalous piece of good fortune Rimmer saves the life of a bio-printed Captain and is promoted, fulfilling his life-long dream of becoming an Officer. He immediately opens an Officer's club, which is out of bounds to the lower orders, and uses the bio-printer to fill it with versions of himself.

Kryten has a mid-life crisis and changes his body cover from Mech grey to Ferrari red. The posse try and show him how much he's achieved in life by taking him to visit a mechanoid from his old fleet.

Cat takes time off from being in love with himself to fall head over heels in love with a lady Cat with a big secret.

The Dwarfers come across a space station where the crew have developed a cure for evil.

Lister, Cat, and Rimmer get a taste of Kryten's life when they are uploaded into mechanoid bodies and forced into slavery.

The Dwarfers run into a ship where criticism is illegal. How will Rimmer cope?

When all the machines on Red Dwarf go on strike Rimmer and Kryten hold a Presidential election, while the Cat faces an identity crisis like never before when he discovers he needs glasses.

When the Dwarfers upload the latest software update they discover the Jupiter Mining Corporation, owners of Red Dwarf, have been bought by M-Corp - a company that only allows products made by them to be visible to their employees.

Rimmer gets hold of a Quantum skipper and skips his way across the multi-verse looking for a dimension where he's not such a giant loser.

The posse meet three cat clerics who worship Lister. Lister vows to help them as they're being hunted by a feral cat leader who wants to wipe out cats who worship anyone but him.