Guest Stars Nick Swardson as Terry Bernadino Jack Plotnick as Steve Marmella Patton Oswalt as Jeff Spoder Paul Rudd as Ethan the Drug Lord Toby Huss as Glen the Desk Clerk David Koechner as Sheriff of Aspen Mindy Sterling as Spoder's Mom Joe Lo Truglio as Tattoo Shop Owner #2 Ken Marino as Deaf Tattoo Artist Paul Reubens as Sir Terrence Danny DeVito as District Attorney Brian T. Finney as Decontamination Guy Oscar Nuñez as Jose Jose Jose Michael Ian Black as Ron of Ron's Tattoo Irina Voronina as Russian Model Steve Little as Drug Lord's Second Hostage Brandon Molale as Kevlar Guy Alejandra Gutierrez as Miss Acapulco Chris Tallman as Alligator Expert David Wain as Breen the Plumber Ian Roberts as Captain Rogers, DHS Marisa Petroro as Drug Lord's Girlfriend Kathryn Fiore as Cheyenne the Helicopter Model Michael Hoback as Barry Baum Eric Price as Wrestling Referee Matthew Budds as Clapping Cop Shanti Hall as Hot Paramedic Kathryn Smith as Jello Wrestler Todd Holoubek as Tattooed Guy Tamara Fox Meyerson as Tammy Michael H. Clark as Bus Driver Kevin Allison as Tattoo Victim Dave Holmes as Persnickety Desk Worker Floyd Van Buskirk as Proctologist Cathy Shim as Spring Break Dream Girl Kyle Dunnigan as Drug Lord's First Hostage Michael Patrick Jann as Tattoo Shop Owner #1 Lennie Loftin as Chief of Police Michael Showalter as Paul Uncredited Dwayne Johnson as Rick Smith, SWAT