McHale and His Seven Cupids Recap

The crew are getting injections at the base hospital and the crewmembers try to hit on the nurse, Lt. Casey. She shoots them all down and Parker is nervous to get his shot because of Casey. He finally goes up and welcomes Casey aboard. She gives him his shot and goes out into the hallway, and McHale joins him after his shot. Parker says that Casey is lovely, and asks if he can ask her over to the base for dinner. McHale agrees and when Parker has second thoughts, makes it an order.

Parker goes back to the hospital and Casey injects him when they let him to the front of the line. When he can't speak, McHale comes in and offers her an invitation on Parker's behalf.

That night, Gruber is setting up a dining table and McHale puts on his dress whites. When Gruber mentions that Casey is taller than Parker, McHale gets an idea and cuts down the legs on her chair. Fuji comes over and says that he's quitting because he has no shrimp, and Gruber offers him filter fish from Flatbush. Willy drops off some 100-proof brandied peaches, just as the gig pulls up. McHale tells the crew that they have to help Parker and slump a little but to make him look taller.

Parker brings Casey over and tells the crew to straighten up. Once they do, he quickly dismisses them and Parker insists on having Casey sit on McHale's chair and ends up on the shortened chair. McHale claims that the ground is soft because of monsoons, and Casey talks about how she works with battle fatigue cases. She notices the filter fish in the dish and sees the peaches, and McHale feigns being unable to get the jar open. Parker can't do it for real, and Casey tries and easily gets it open. She claims that Parker loosened it for her.

Later, Parker eats most of the brandied peaches and gets drunk. McHale takes him to take it easier, but Parker insists that he can hold his peaches. Casey says that she has to head back for her shift, and Parker talks about short military officers. She leaves and Parker follows her to the dock, and falls into the water

The next day, the crew are playing cards when McHale comes over and tells them that Parker is blue about what happened. He suggests that they take care of Parker because he's a casualty, and suggests that they take Parker to the hospital for a phony injury. Happy suggests that they shoot him in the leg to give him a limp, and Gruber suggests a disease. McHale proposes battle fatigue and everyone reviews the symptoms. When Tinker warns that Parker will never go for it because he's too Navy, McHale says that they won't tell him.

Later, Fuji serves Parker some coffee in a mug that he's covered with butter to make Parker think he's losing his grip. Gruber brings over a bag of ping-pong balls and says that he counted them like Parker ordered, and Parker has no idea what he's talking about. Tinker gives Parker a slip for the eight propeller shafts that he supposedly ordered, and McHale asks what time Parker has. Christy and Happy are hiding in the jungle and set off some dynamite, and Parker jumps. Everyone else pretends that they didn't hear it, and McHale suggests that Parker is faking battle fatigue. Another explosion goes off and Parker jumps, and then says that he didn't hear it, either. He spills some more coffee and tells McHale to get him to the hospital.

At the hospital, Parker jumps when Casey fluffs his pillow. He starts losing his memory for real, and McHale reviews how Parker volunteered for a dangerous recon mission. The commander describes how magnificent Parker was, but Parker still doesn't remember and asks McHale to tell it again. Casey says that's enough and McHale leaves.

Back at the island, McHale finds the crew writing love letters to make it look like women are writing to Parker . Once they have one, McHale goes back to the hospital with the letters, claiming they're from famous actresses. Parker has no idea who they're coming from, and McHale reads some of them. He finds a letter from Parker's hometown and asks Casey to read it to Parker while he waits outside.

Once they're alone, Parker wonders if battle fatigue is contagious because McHale has been acting strangely. He insists that there's nothing between him and the girl who wrote the letter, because there's nothing between him and any girl. Casey reads Tinker's letter--taken from Cyrano de Bergerac--and Parker starts crying. She recognizes the source, and Parker tells Casey that McHale loves her and tried to get him out of the way and get close to Casey. Casey says that she's already married, and Parker finally picks up on it. She tells him that her husband is a pilot in the Transport Command, and Parker accuses her of leading McHale on.

Parker grabs his clothes and goes after McHale, and says that Casey is a two-timing Jezebel. He tells McHale that he's in love with a married woman. Once he leaves, McHale realizes what happened and bursts into laughter.

Two weeks later, Parker is packing for two weeks of R&R in Sydney. McHale tells hi to have a ball and pick on a girl his own size. Gruber comes in to carry Parker's bag, and Parker doesn't remember ordering him to do it. Tinker comes in and gets Parker's name wrong, and McHale realizes that they're trying to get diagnoses with battle fatigue. An explosion goes off nearby, and Gruber and Tinker pretend not to hear it. McHale says that they're staying on the island and ushers them out.

Written by Gadfly on Dec 21, 2016