Gruber has the crew making sarongs out of parachutes while he manages. They complain that he makes the money and they do the work, and as they argue McHale and Parker come over. The crew complains that Gruber is giving them the short end, and McHale finally tells them to stick up for the rights... quietly, so they don't interrupt his nap.
In his office, Binghamton is hanging a picture of himself when Carpenter comes in to tell him that he crate of parachutes Binghamton orders has disappeared. Binghamton figures that McHale and his crew took them, just as Admiral Reynolds calls. Reynolds says that ComFleet is sending an inspection team to run an efficiency test on Saturday, and any crew that isn't ready will be transferred for retraining. Once Binghamton hangs up, Carpenter suggests that they could get rid of McHale.
On the island, Fuji tells McHale that he's going to the other side of the island for some peace and quiet because the crew is still arguing. Tinker and Gruber are arguing about sarong designs with the others taking sides. As McHale breaks it up, Binghamton and Carpenter watch from hiding and Carpenter takes notes of what they're saying. Gruber fires Tinker, and Tinker says that he's going into business for himself. McHale tells them to do whatever he wants and storms off, and Binghamton figures that they can leave them at each other's throat so they mess up the efficiency test.
The next morning, McHale comes out and finds a dividing line through the middle of the hutches. The two sides have divided up the crew hutch, and McHale reminds them that there's still a war going on. A Zero attacks the island and Virgil fires the AA gun at it. However, he stops shooting because the Zero is on the other side of the island. McHale has enough and tells them that he's closing up their shop forever.
Carpenter goes to Binghamton and tells him that McHale has called off the sarong sale. He doesn't know about the efficiency test, and Binghamton figures that if they call McHale away to a refresher course on combat communications then his crew will fail the efficiency test. He calls the island and orders McHale to the course, and McHale reminds the crew that the sarong sale is off and the order of the day is togetherness.
Once McHale's plane leaves, Binghamton visits the island and tells the crew that he promised his wife he would send her a sarong but can't find one. Gruber offers to provide one if he makes a slight profit. Binghamton says that everyone at the base wants to get a sarong, and says that the sale starts at noon the next day. Once he leaves the crew starts arguing again.
The next day, the split crew is running two booths at the sale. Tinker has his model come out first, and then Gruber presents his sarong at $5 cheaper. Tinker marks his down $5 below Gruber's, and gruber marks his down by $3 below Tinker's.
The inspector, Captain Meyers, checks the PTs and Binghamton sends Carpenter to bring McHale as soon as he lands.
Tinker and Gruber keep undercutting each other's prices, and a MP delivers Binghamton's orders for them to go to the base.
At Taratupa, McHale arrives and the 73 pulls into the harbor. McHale realizes that Binghamton set him up, while crew arrives still arguing. The captain goes aboard and tells them to settle down and move out. Out on the ocean, Virgil discovers that the AA gun is jammed because it's all rusted up because he was too busy sewing to oil it up. Parker goes to help him and sets off the depth charge launcher. It explodes near the base dock.
McHale takes the 73 around for a torpedo run but the engines go out. Tinker reports that the fuel pump is stuck, and a Japanese sub fires a torpedo at them. When the engineer fixes he fuel pump, McHale has Gruber fire #2 tube at the sub. Gruber does so and then says that he had the sarongs stored in the tube. A sarong top lands on the submarine's periscope, blinding the Japanese crew, and McHale has Gruber fire #1 tube.
On the docks, Binghamton figures that McHale has missed. Meyers points out that they're fighting an actual sub. The torpedo hits and takes out the sub, and the crew celebrates. Meyers tells Binghamton that he's going to recommend the 73 for a citation, and Binghamton is less than thrilled.
Written by Gadfly on Mar 10, 2017