The team gathers at a Flash/Superman race point and Ron misses it when he ties his shoes. Flash stops (very) briefly to hydrate with Teddy's glass of water.
Later at the office, Van asks Jackie if she confirmed his reservation for lunch. He explains that his cousin Bruce has finally found some time in his schedule to meet with him. Emily tells Teddy that Corporate wants him to redo the sketches on the home security line, and he says that if he had Emily's job then he'd tell Corporate to kiss his ass. Wendy tells Emily that she needs an emergency two-hour lunch break to freak out some kinds doing 'rooms by pretending to be a time traveler. Emily points out that it's not an emergency, but gives her an extra half-hour. She tells Jackie that as long as she works there, she'll never get Wendy.
Bruce calls to cancel his reservation with Van, and Jackie admits that she never made it. A news reporter announces that Lois Lane has been killed, and Ron says that it's awesome. He explains that it's been scientifically proven that every time Lois has died in the past, Superman has reversed time so that it never happened. Ron figures that everything they do until Superman turns back time doesn't matter, and demonstrates by hitting Steve with a stapler. Jackie is skept4ical until they receive word that Stephen Hawking has killed Neil Degrasse Tyson. Everyone realizes that it's No Consequence Day, and Van tells Wendy to kiss him and get it over with it. She does, then slaps him and kisses him again.
Soon, everyone but Van is doing whatever they want sure that there will be no consequences. Ron goes to buy a pug, tossing caution to the wind. Van says that he doesn't understand the point of No Consequence Day since he's already rich enough to do whatever he wants. Wendy points out that he still can't get Bruce to have lunch with him, and Van decides to make Bruce pay for it. He asks Jackie for ideas, and she tells him that she's doing nothing for any of them. Emily tells Wendy that she's going to eat a whole chocolate muffin,.
Teddy is drinking Van's whiskey when Coleman Reese from Corporate comes in and asks if Teddy is in charge. Angry, Teddy tells him to kick his ass. Coleman is impressed with his attitude and admits that he wanted to tell his boss the same thing. He invites Teddy to come to the meeting and tell his boss the same thing.
On the street, Emily orders a muffin and a latte with whole milk. Wendy arrives and gives Emily $1,000 to do what she wants. Emily wonders if she stole it, and Wendy suggests that they smoke marijuana in public. As Emily prepares to smoke it, Officer Berlanti comes over and arrests Emily and Wendy.
As Jackie relaxes, Ron comes back with a box full of pugs and admits that he couldn't choose one. He's named them all, including Ron Jr. Van comes over and says that he needs the puppies to humiliate Bruce.
At the meeting, Teddy is eating foie gras and lectures the board members about how useless they are. The boss, James Tynion III, is impressed with Teddy's honesty.
At the police station, Emily tries to apologize and tries to explain about No Consequence Day. Wendy takes over and suggests that she and Berlanti go into a closet. He throws them in a cell and Wendy tells Emily that she's sick of Emily judging her. Emily insists that what Wendy does is objectively weird, and Wendy tells her that she's rich. Her family owns a facility for testing cosmetics on chimps, and Wendy hasn't spoken to them for eight years. She doesn't speak to them because they think they're better than her, just like Emily. Emily apologizes for treating Wendy the same way that her family does.
Teddy is made the new boss of R&D, and his new secretary Molly arrives. Van asks Jackie to mail a box of dog poop to Bruce. She refuses, and points out that Bruce will never see it so Van should call Bruce and tell him off.
Emily and Wendy share details about their lives, and Emily finally realizes that they should break out.
Van calls Bruce and tells him off, and finally admits that he's always looked up to Bruce. He admits that he worships Bruce and Bruce treats him like he doesn't exist, and tells Bruce to fuck off.
Wendy claims that Emily is going to throw up. When Berlanti opens the cell to check on her, the women run out and tear up the files. The news comes on to announce Lois' funeral. Superman is there with a date and isn't crying, and Berlanti tells Emily and Wendy that they're in big trouble. Everyone realizes that they'll have to live with what they've done.
Later, Jackie bails Emily and Wendy out. Van figures that he'll tell Bruce that he was on a prank show, and tells Jackie to make it. He tries to go into his office but Molly tells him that it's no longer his office. Meanwhile, Teddy is on the phone complaining about all the conference calls that he's on. Coleman dumps a pile of files on Teddy's desk and says that it's Emily's regular work: The new work is coming later, and Teddy has to do it because he said that Emily sucked so he'll have to fire her.
Out on the balcony, Van waits for Bruce to call back. Jackie comes out and Van tosses the phone over the edge so Bruce can never call him back. A helicopter arrives to take Van to Gotham for a meeting with his cousin, and Van reluctantly goes.
Emily bemoans the loss of her career now that she has a criminal record. Wendy tells her that she fixed it by calling her family to pull some strings and make the charges disappear. She admits that she didn't totally hate that they were almost friends, and Emily says that she's glad that they had an adventure together. Superman flies by the window and the news runs a report that a shapeshifter went to Lois' funeral and the real Superman escaped from a Kryptonite prison. Teddy comes out and says that he can't fire her because he never realized how hard her job is. Superman flies by again and they realize that he's rewinding time. Van comes in and says that Bruce was impressed that he stood up to him, and while wandering around Wayne Manor, Van found the Batcave and discovered that Bruce is Batman. At that, time rewinds and nobody remembers anything that happened during No Consequence Day.
Everything happens as before except Emily grants Wendy's full request and offers to go with her. As they leave, Bruce cancels his plans for lunch with Van. A pug runs up to Ron and he finds a Ron Jr. tag on it.
Written by Gadfly on Jun 26, 2017