At a trailer in a park in Michigan, the one-handed man known as Ash straps on... his corset. He admires himself in the mirror, puts on some cologne, dances briefly, grabs his artificial wooden hand, and heads out to the Woodsman Bar. Ash goes to the bar and the bartender tells him that they’re closing in ten minutes. He orders a drink for the woman and tries to hit on her, talking about his wooden hand. He claims that he saved an 8-year-old-boy from a speeding train and lost his hand that way, and every year he celebrates by getting blacked-out drunk.
Soon, Ash is having sex with the woman in the women’s room. He gets winded and suggests that they take a break, but the woman insists that they continue... and then is possessed by a Deadite who says that they’re coming. As Ash looks for the exit, the woman reverts back to normal and Ash agrees to finish but warns that he has to be quick.
A much more nervous Ash drives back to his trailer and confirms that he still has the Necronomicon. There are some joints wedged into the book, and Ash remembers the night he was smoking MJ with a tattooed girl who liked poetry. High, they read from the Necronomicon.
The Deadite forcetravels through the woods to a house, just as state policemen Amanda Fisher and her partner John Carson pull up. They’re checking a report of a neighbor who said that she heard a woman screaming. The two officers hear a screeching noise and split up to go inside. Carson takes the front and discovers that something has kicked it open. Amanda goes in the back and discovers that the lights are out. A corpse is on the dining room floor, frozen in terror, and Amanda tries to raise Carson on the radio. She gets no response and hears something creaking in the living room. She investigates and finds Carson confronting a rocking chair frozen in mid rock.
As the partners realize that something isn’t right, they hear a woman sobbing. A figure stands up from beneath a sheet, and Amanda yanks it off. It’s a young woman, frozen in terror, and she finally puts her hands up. There are tattoos on her wrists, and she mutters in an unknown language. When Carson wonders what she said, a Deadite takes over the body and twists the woman’s head 180 degrees. The windows explode and the girl slams Carson away. She says that they know who Amanda is and slap her gun away, and then slashes her with a pair of scissors. The Deadite impales Amanda’s hand, and knocks her away, and Amanda grabs her gun and shoots her.
The Deadite keeps coming until Amanda runs out of bullets, and Carson blows off half of its head. The creature spins around and throws Carson onto a pair of mounted trophy horns, and then advances on Amanda. Amanda draws her backup gun and blows the Deadite’s head off, and the shutters all slam shut on their own. She looks up and discovers that Carson’s body is gone, and spots it crawling on the ceiling. The possessed body jumps at her and knocks Amanda to the ground. She loses her gun and the Deadite-possessed Carson pulls her away. She manages to kick it away, grabs her gun, and turns to shoot. Carson, crying, begs Amanda not to shoot him, insisting that he’s her friend. He says that he needs her... to die. The Deadite takes him over again and laughs hysterically, and Amanda bows its head off.
The next morning, Ash leaves his trailer and calls Lionel Hawkins, the owner of Books From Beyond. He says that he needs some help translating a particular book. Once Lionel agrees, Ash goes over to his neighbor Vivian Johnson and says that he might have to leave town soon. He asks her to tidy up his trailer while he’s gone, and she reluctantly agrees. As Ash walks away, a wind blows up from nowhere. He looks back and discovers that Vivian has disappeared. He goes over and pushes aside one of the sheets Vivian was hanging up... and finds a Deadite-possessed Vivian. It says that Ash’s time comes again and then she reverts back to normal. Ash quickly drives away.
Ash arrives at ValueStop where he works to get his check and head out of town. He tells his boss, Mr. Roper, that his friend Eli is sick and has to leave early. Roper reminds him that he knows Eli is Ash’s pet lizard and refuses to give him his paycheck until the end of the day. Ash breaks a box of light bulbs and his co-worker Pablo Simon Bolivar comes up and offers to help. He suggests that they grill turkey burgers and watch Monday Night Raw, and Ash explains that he may have to skip town. Pablo doesn’t want the coolest guy in town to leave, but Ash warns that he has a situation. He’s found someone else to help Ash, and points out the girl: Kelly Maxwell.
Ash goes over to hit on her, and she figures that he’s out of his mind. He insists that the thought of having him would have occurred to her at some point, and asks her to thank her mother for him by passing her genes down to Kelly. Kelly tells him that her mother died in a car accident six months ago, and Ash complains that Kelly is being rude. When he tries to stroke her hair, she twists him into a hold.
Amanda goes to a diner and considers what she’s seen. Three troopers come in and notice her, and a waiter comes over to assure her that she’ll be back to work. She has her doubts that the homicide inquest and psych evaluation will clear her. Amanda hears something looks around, and sees a Deadite-possessed girl. When she looks back, the girl is normal. A woman, Ruby, glances around her booth and asks Amanda if she’s all right. When Amanda says that she can’t trust her eyes, Ruby tells her that sometimes what she thinks she saw is exactly what she saw.
At ValueStop, Ash is dumping the broken bulbs in the back when the lights go out. Something moves in the shadows, and Ash starts to walk out. A doll in the stack of dolls moves and Ash goes back to investigate. One of them leaps on his face and bites his nose, and Ash hits it--and himself--with flowerpots. It doesn’t work very well and Ash grabs it, and the doll bites his thumb. He throws it on the floor and it grabs an x-acto knife and charges at him. Pablo arrives and smashes it with a shovel, and wonders what it was.
Storm clouds gather over the Woodsman Bar.
Pablo says that his uncle was a brujah and warned against the devil. He figures his uncle was right after what he just saw, and Ash explains that 30 years ago he and his friends found the Book of the Dead in a cabin. Certain passages were recited and something evil woke up in the woods. It got into Ash’s hand and he cut it off, and then the evil possessed his friends. Ash was the only one to escape, and he’s been hiding out for the last 30 years. Now that he read from the book again, the evil has found him so he’s taking off. Pablo says that his uncle said that one man--El Jefe--would stand against the evil. He figures that Ash is El Jefe, but Ash tells him that Pablo has the wrong guy.
As Ash leaves, he sees a newscast about a sinkhole opening in front of the Woodsman Bar. Pablo tells Ash that he has to finish what he’s started, but Ash says that he’s cutting out. Ash runs to his car and drives off. Meanwhile, Pablo hears Kelly calling her father. He says that things in the house that belonged to his wife have moved, and the house smells like the pancakes she used to cook. He hears someone moving and tells Kelly that his wife is there, and something knocks on the door. Her father tells Kelly that she’s here, and turns the camera to reveal a woman coming in the door. Pablo comes over and Kelly says that she saw her mother... dead six months. He sends her out to his bike, but Roper tells him that he’snot going anywhere.
The Deadite force moves through the parking lot toward Kelly as she tries to start Pablo’s motorbike. Pablo runs over and starts it, and they drive off just in time. The force hits Roper instead.
Amanda goes back to the house and walks in. She goes to the living room and notices a piece of Carson’s shirt on the chandelier, and realizes that everything she saw was real.
As night falls, Pablo and Kelly drive to the trailer park. He says that they’re going to see the only person who can help them and goes into Ash’s trailer. Ash says that he’s not sticking his neck out for anyone and puts in a fresh set of dentures. Disgusted, Kelly turns to go but senses something outside. A force starts pounding on the trailer walls, and Pablo asks Ash if he’s going town up to who he is. Ash says that they’ll find out, and a possessed Deadite neighbor reaches through the window and grabs Kelly by the neck. Pablo tries to pull her free and calls to Ash for help. Kelly begs for help, and Ash grabs a fire axe and throws it. It cuts off the Deadite’s hand, and the force slams into the trailer repeatedly.
Kelly screams at the force to stop, and it finally does. Ash grabs Kelly’s belt and straps on his guns, just as the neighbors bursts in. Ash grabs a hidden gun and shoots it, then kicks it back and knocks it into a cabinet. He then blows its head off. Kelly wants to go to her father, but Ash warns that first he has to see a guy about a book. He grabs the Necronomicon and tells Kelly that they have to deal with the Deadites before he can help her father.
Ash goes to get his chainsaw, only to find a Deadite-possessed Vivian waiting for him. They fight and it Vivian slams Ash to the ground. The Deadite says that it’s time to test the mettle of Man and throws him across the room. Ash goes for his chainsaw but Vivian throws it away, grabs a knife, and lunges at Pablo. She stabs him in the shoulder, pinning him to the wall, and knocks Kelly to the floor. It manages to grab her and tries to thrust its fingernails into Kelly’s eyes.
Pablo yells to Ash to wake up, and Ash does so. He discovers that he’s lost his shotgun in the struggle, and Pablo kicks the chainsaw to him. Ash removes his wooden hand and thrusts his stump into the chainsaw mount. Vivian leaps at him, and Ash cuts her head off. Pablo pulls the knife off, and Ash says that it’s good to be back.
Written by Gadfly on Nov 1, 2015