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Citizenship Recap

Nadja watches Jenna in her dorm room and figures that Jenna is on her way to blossoming into her full vampire state.

Jenna says that she's been going through changes and doesn't feel well. Her friends like Shanice have noticed that she suffers from mood swings, and has a sensitivity to sunlight and religious art.

Nandor invites everyone to a house meeting and reminds them of the house rules, including blowing out the candles. Laszlo knows something smelling, and Colin explains that he's wearing a new aftershave that he found in the bathroom at work. Colin admits that he is only wearing it to annoy them. Nandor says that he would kill people in the country that he led, Al Quolanudar. Laszlo and Colin don't believe that it exists, but Nandor insists that it's a real country. Colin confirms that Al Quolanudar dissolved in 1401.

Later, Nandor says that it was a shock to learn that his country doesn't exist, despite all the pillaging and killing that he did.

Laszlo watches Jenna go through her transition, and admits that she had no one to guide her.

Nandor shows a bag of soul from his homeland, which is all that remains of Al Quolanudar.

As he goes after a victim, Nandor stops and says that he lost his appetite because he found out his country doesn't exist. The man asks if he's okay, but Nandor tells him to flee. Guillermo comes over and asks if Nandor is all right, and insists that America is his home and his country. He suggests that Nandor become an American citizen, and Nandor figures that he should make an allegiance with the home country, tells Guillermo to take the bus, and flies away as a bat.

Nadja meets with Jenna and gives her "the talk" about how she has to complete the transition by drinking some human blood. She tells Jenna that she's going to teach her how to feed on humans.

Guillermo helps Nandor learn how to apply for citizenship. He calls Immigration and determines that Nandor applied for citizenship in 1992 but didn't complete it.

Nandor explains that he applied for citizenship inspired by the Dream Team: the 1992 American Basketball zone

When Guillermo why didn't Nandor didn't finish his application, Nandor says that the Macarena swept the nation and he didn't have time for anything else.

Nadja tries to work out what Jenna's special power is. She invites Jenna to try and seduce her like a human man. Jenna doesn't do well. Nadja demonstrates that she can crawl, but Jenna can't do that, either. Laszlo comes in to investigate the noise, and says that Jenna should be in a cage. Jenna runs out and Nadja complains that he ruined Jenna's confidence.

Guillermo rehearses immigration questions with Nandor, who says that he left his country because he was driven out by peasants.

Nadja takes Laszlo to Jenna's new room and makes him apology for his earlier comments. He promises to turn her into the most impressive vampire there is, and Jenna comes out. They take Jenna to the study and Guillermo is surprised to learn that Nadja turned someone random into a vampire.

Laszlo talks about how to turn into a bat. Jenna wonders where her clothes go, and Nadja and Laszlo don't know. They go out on the roof and Laszlo demonstrates. Jenna turns into a creepy humanoid vampire and screams a lot. She crashes and Nandor sends Guillermo to investigate. He mutters to himself that she can do it herself, and she hears him with her heightened senses.

Nadja figures that Jenna is a below-average vampire.

The two female vampires go to a ska party so that Jenna can make her first kill.

Guillermo and Nandor go to Immigration, and Nandor is unable to hypnotize the immigration official because the man is immune to hypnotism because his soul is dead. Nandor describes the right to "bare" arms.

Jenna doesn't want to deal with the emotional stress of killing a human. Laszlo tells her that she believes in her.

Nandor doesn't do well at the citizenship questions.

Jenna tries to get a jock man's attention but he doesn't hear her. Nadja tries and seduces the jock, and she tells him to gup stairs and put his head in a toilet bowl. Jenna figures that was an abuse of her power, and Nadja says that it's just an abuse of the man. A passing man spills beer on Jenna and Jenna complains that no one can see her and walks out. She screams and turns invisible, and then throws the keg on the wall. Nadja tells her what she did and says that she has a very special power. Jenna figures that it's the best night of her life now that she has a cool vampire power. She grabs the man who spilled beer on her and drags him outside to feed on him. As Laszlo watches, the jock comes out and Nadja tells him to eat some bricks.

The immigration official has Nandor recite the oath of allegiance. Nandor finally manages to say "God" at the end but belches fire as he does so and runs out in pain.

Later, Guillermo goes and tells Guillermo that he didn't pass and made a fool of himself. Guillermo tells him to stop complaining and he's a vampire and people would kill to be who Nandor is. He says that Nandor should be proud of who he is, and Nandor admits that Guillermo is right. He jumps up on a car and declares himself a proud vampire who will not bow down to pathetic bureaucracies. Nandor vows to rule the planet for humanity and sets off the car alarm. He then tells Guillermo that he appreciates him telling him how it is. However, Nandor isn't interested in a vampiric sidekick.

Jenna asks Nadja if she can watch the sun rise, and Nadja explains that she'll burst into flame if exposed to sunlight.

Guillermo tells Nandor that they'll give anyone a gun even if they're not a citizen.

Jenna figures that they can put on motorcycle helmets to protect themselves from the sun. She and Nadja go up on the roof and Nadja tells Jenna that it's the beginning of her never-ending journey. The sunlight burns them and they fly inside.

Written by Gadfly on May 16, 2019

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