On a yacht in Gotham Harbor, a group of rich white men celebrate fucking the poor. Harley Quinn drops in and says that she's taking their money. The bankers laugh and one of them says that they're not afraid of Joker's girlfriend. Harley smashes his kneecap and the other men draw guns on her. The "captain" removes the captain's face he's using as a mask, revealing that he's Joker. Harley says that she had it covered, and tells the men to jump in the harbor. Before they can, Joker uses acid gas on them turning several of them into melting corpses.
As Harley complains that Joker interfered with her heist, the other men open fire. The two villains take cover, and Joker returns fire with a flamethrower. Harley wants a taste of the Gothamites fearing her and wants to join the Legion of Doom. Joker tells her that they don't take sidekicks, and Harley insists that she wants to be Joker's full partner.
Batman drops in and Joker summons his personal submarine. He leaves Harley to buy him time to escape and promises to break her out if Batman sends her to Arkham... eventually. Batman easily defeats Harley, who admires Joker's escape.
That night at the police station, Commissioner Gordon rants at Harley until Batman stops him. Harley refuses to give up Joker's location, insisting the two of them have real love. Gordon tells her that she's going to Arkham for life, and Harley laughs. He joins in with her, and Harley says that Joker will break her out before she spends a single night there.
Six months later, Harley waits for Joker in vain. Poison Ivy points out that Joker isn't coming, but Harley figures Joker and Batman are fighting.
Three Months Later
Ivy tells Harley that she can do better than Joker while Harley fights off the guards. She says that Joker is psychotic, and Harley insists that Joker made her who she is today.
Three Months After That
Ivy points out that Joker has left Harley there before to rot in Arkham, and Harley has to leave him. Riddler agrees with Ivy, and all of the other prisoners agree with both of them.
Later in her cell, Harley wonders if she's the crazy one. The alarms go off, and Ivy controls a plant, growing it to giant size thanks to a seed that Riddler provided. Harley insists on waiting for Joker, and Calendar Man points out that Harley has been waiting for a year. Ivy doses Harley with knockout pollen and takes her out of Arkham.
Later, Harley wakes up in Ivy's greenhouse. A plant, Frank, complains that he now has a roommate. Frank spits out the remains of the boy Ivy hired to water her plants, along with his parents, and Harley figures that Joker will go crazy with worry when he finds out Harley isn't in Arkham. She eventually figures that something happened to Joker, and Ivy restrains Harley with plants as she tries to escape. Ivy says that Harleen helped her when she was a psychiatrist, and asks what Harleen would say to Harley. A picture of Harleen talks to Harley, analyzing Harley as being in a classic abusive-dependent relationship. Harley realizes that Harleen is talking about her.
The news reports that Riddler, Gotham's funniest villain, is still on the loose. Joker takes offense and shoots up his TV, and Harley and Ivy drop in to his theater hangout to visit him. Harley complains that Joker left her in Arkham for a year, and she's there to dump Joker. Joker insists that Harley doesn't call the shots, and Joker tells his henchman that Ivy is finally doing what she wanted him to do. Joker says that he was going to break up with her to keep her safe, and says that Gordon and Batman are intent on destroying everyone close to him. Ivy tries to convince Harley to leave, and Joker agrees with her. However, he says that he'll die for her and Harley agrees to die for him as well. They start making out and Ivy makes a hasty exit.
Later, Gordon signals Batman and tells him that Riddler has a riddle so funny it makes people's brains explode, and he's going to broadcast it on live TV.
Harley offers Joker some bread pudding to take his mind off of Riddler's plan. Joker is not happy that Riddler is stealing his shtick on live TV and shoots the bread pudding because it has raisins. Harley explains that they're chocolate chips, and offers to kill Riddler so they can have a date night. Joker agrees despite Harley's choice of Reese Witherspoon movies.
Later, Harley tracks down Riddler to his not-so-hidden lair. Riddler begins his broadcast, and Harley breaks in. Batman drops in and wonders why Harley is there, and Riddler captures both of them in giant spheres. He prepares to drop them in a pool of acid, and Harley says that Joker will come running. Riddler is glad to hear it and calls Joker to come over.
When Joker arrives, Riddler explains that he doesn't have a riddle so funny it makes people's brains explode. He tells Joker to choose one of his prisoners to live and one to die. Joker giggles hysterically and finally says that he can't let Riddler have credit for killing Batman. Riddler releases Batman and drops Harley into the acid. She falls in and hallucinates dancing with Joker, and his proposing to her. Harleen appears and reminds Harley that Joker said "To death do us part" to Batman, not her. Harley realizes that Joker only loves Batman.
Ivy pulls Harley out of the vat and explains that the "acid" was just margarita mix. Riddler tells Ivy that they're square for her breaking him out of Arkham, and Ivy tells Harley that she set the whole thing up to prove to her that Joker was no good for her. Ivy assures Harley that she cares about her enough to set up something stupid.
Later at Ivy's apartment, Frank doesn't sympathize with Harley. Ivy tells Harley that she loves her in an odd way, and says that Harley should stop sabotaging herself. One of Joker's henchmen arrives with a Jokergram, reading an invitation for Harley to rejoin Joker. The henchman blows up thanks to the Joker's bomb, and Harley half-heartedly insists there's nothing charming about it and she's finished with Joker. Her new scheme isn't very impressive, but Harley assures Ivy that she and Joker are through.
Harley puts on a new outfit, goes to Joker's hideout. Joker likes her new look, and says that he's an agent of chaos and that's what she loves about him. Harley tells him that they're through, and Joker says that she never breaks up with him. Harley throws her old costume in his face and says that she's his replacement as top criminal in Gotham. Joker whistles for his henchmen, and Harley defeats the first wave. He tosses an explosive on Harley's mallet, and she throws it away just in time. Harley refuses to surrender, and Joker tells his men to kill her. He walks away and Harley defeats the thugs. She uses some of Joker's explosives to blow up the remainder and destroy the hideout.
Ivy approaches Harley and says that she came to see if Harley needed any help, and invites her out for Thai food. Once she leaves, Harley tells Joker that she wants him alive so she can see his face when she runs Gotham.
Written by Gadfly on Nov 30, 2019