Liz checks in a variety of guests through the day. An elderly couple checks in to kill each other because the wife is dying of cancer and the husband doesn’t want to go on without her. Once they shoot each other, Liz and Iris come in and Liz finds the mutual death beautiful. She explains that they killed themselves so their children wouldn't find them at home, and breaks into tears. Iris tells Liz that they were happy, and Liz says that she feels like she'll be happy again. She can't convince herself that she can live without Tristan, and figures that soon the Countess will slit her throat. Liza picks up a gun and contemplates it, and Iris reminds her that she'll be trapped in the hotel for all eternity if she dies. Reconsidering, Liz lowers the gun and says that her only unfinished business is her son. She always wanted to tell him that she was sorry for leaving her, and that will give Iris enough time to get ready to go. Iris tells Liz that she doesn't have to die alone, and now she knows that Donovan doesn't love her and never will. Liz agrees that they should kill themselves together.
Later, Liz has Mrs. Evers call Liz's son Douglas to explain that he's invited there to stay free for a week. Liz refuses to get on the line to explain why, and Mrs. Evers quickly hangs up. Mrs. Evers wonders how long it's been, and Liz says that she hasn't seen Douglas in 31 years. She knows that all of the checks that she wrote cleared, and Mrs. Evers warns that she is challenging Douglas to be very understanding. Mrs. Evers talks about how one day her gay cousin found the Church until he gave into his temptation. Liz insists that she isn't a pedophile, and Mrs. Evers warns that Douglas is coming to get the father he always longed to see, and will see Liz instead. Liz doesn't want to hear anymore and orders her out, and Mrs. Evers asks for the item that Liz promised her. Liz gives her a bottle of oxygenated soap in payment.
In James' trophy vault, Sally looks at the ears that John took from those who listened to false gods.
John goes to a church and the pastor tells him that the old gods are not dead, and waiting to be awakened. When the pastor asks what his name is, John kills the pastor and his two parishioners.
Sally tells John that one more killing and he'll be free.
Donavan breaks into Rudolph's motel room.
Natacha goes to the Countess' penthouse.
Rudolph confronts Donovan and demands to know who he is. Donavan says that he's his.
The Countess tells Natacha that they need to talk, and Natacha says that she knows that the Countess is interested in her castoffs.
Donovan insists that she loves the Countess.
Natacha warns the Countess that she's only a fan to Rudolph.
Rudolph dismisses Donavan as a washed-up pretty boy.
As they hold each other on the bed, Natacha tells the Countess that she knows nothing of her resourcefulness.
Rudolph orders Donavan to leave, and Donavan says that he wouldn't last one day with the Countess in the real world. The former movie actor insists that he is the greatest screen lover of all time.
The Countess tells Natacha that she's cheap and always has been.
Rudolph takes a sword out of the closet.
Natacha draws a knife out of her purse and says that she should have killed the Countess after their first tango.
Unimpressed, Donavan takes out a gun and shoots Rudolph in the head.
The Countess shoots Natacha in the head.
Donavan fires several more shots into Rudolph's head and tastes the blood.
James dons a mask and visits the contractor who he chained up. The magnate lights the pipes the contractor is chained to, and the contractor apologizes for not meeting James' deadline. He says that he'll do anything he wants, but James says that a man is only as good as his word and sets the contractor on fire. As he basks in the flames, John comes in and James says that he has great plans for the two of them. As he turns off the gas, he tells John to forget his wife. He knows where Alex is, but he wants John to take the glory for what he has after the Ten Commandments killings. John demands to know where Alex is, and James tells him that he will soon be reunited with his wife.
The two men go to James' suite where Alex is waiting. Mrs. Evers leaves them with coffee, and Alex admits that she kept Holden away from him. She made her choice to be with Holden, and didn't tell john for fear that he would try to change her mind. Alex hasn't forgotten about Scarlett, and John admits that they're the world's worst parents. John's wife admits that she made a mistake and the Countess holds her responsible, and explains about how she spread the vampirism infection to max and his friends. The Countess said that Alex had to make things right, and John assures her that he'll help her deal with it.
Mrs. Evers goes to the bar and tells her that Douglas is coming with complimentary drink tickets. Liz sends her on her way, and Douglas comes in and sits at the bar. Unaware that his father is the bartender, Douglas orders a drink and explains about his job. He compliments Liv on her dress, and he drinks and laughs with Liz into the night. Douglas talks about how his wife wants him to quit and start a kayak company, and Liz agrees with her. The man explains that his father split when he was young, and he blames himself for being a rambunctious kid. Liz says that Douglas' father had his reasons, and Douglas explains that he's in LA because they're finally going to reconnect. When Liz offers him a free drink, Douglas says that he'd like it but takes a raincheck and leaves.
Alex and John go to the house the children were using, and discover that it's taped up with crime scene tape. John hears someone inside and they go in, and he goes up to investigate. Alex hears someone coughing and goes to find a girl in the next room. She says that her name is Kimmy and checks her, and a boy comes in and slashes at Alex. John comes in and fires a warning shot, but the boy says that there are more of them than him. Max leads the other children in, and reminds Alex that they told her not to come back. Kimmy starts gagging and Maddie begs Alex to help her. Alex applies CPR but is unable to revive her. Max asks why she stopped, and Alex says that it's too late for Kimmy. John says that it doesn't have to be too late for the rest of them.
Detectives meet with the Countess at the Cortez. She explains that her husband will was going to go to the bar for a drink and disappeared. The detective suggests that her husband got cold feet, but the Countess claims that Will wouldn't have left her and Lochlan alone. Will comes in and hugs the Countess, and tells the detectives that he got lost in the hallways after exploring new renovations. The Countess apologizes for inconveniencing the detectives and escorts them out, and Will reminds the Countess that she murdered him. She tells him that she can't abide him making disparaging comments about her son Bartholomew, but Will figures that she planned to kill him all along. The Countess says that she's going to convert his empire to cash, and Will reminds her that she's not in the will. She points out that Lochlan inherits everything, and she's his legally appointed guardian until he reaches his majority... if he ever does. The Countess suggests that she'll make Lochlan a blood relative, and tells Will to visit his son. As Will leaves, James appears and points out that he told the Countess not to kill will in the hotel. She blows smoke in his face and walks away.
Alex and John bring the children to the Cortez and take them to the hidden wing. They don't want to go in, but Alex assures them that a room is ready for them and she'll get them someone to eat. Max reluctantly leads the children in and when one boy hesitates, John shoves him in and slams the reinforced door shut. The children pound on it, and Max goes to Maddie. The other children start arguing with max and they fight, and fall into the room with Will's dead body. They hear Ramona and when they investigate, she says that she smells appetizers.
John and Alex end up having sex, and John suggests that they don’t need to go through with their divorce. Alex realizes that something has changed with her husband, and says that he finally got it together. They kiss but then Alex says that she needs to process what happened and check on Holden and the other kids. However, she admits that she's interested in the new John.
Once Alex leaves, John goes to the bathroom and Sally asks if he had intercourse with Alex. She figures that she's a whore to John, and he insists that it isn't like that. Sally reminds him that he said that he loved her, and John says that what they have is an addict's high and it eventually ends. She tells John that there will never be anyone like her, and they kiss. John tosses her on the bed but then John goes to get his clothing. Sally warns him that Alex isn't the answer, and asks how she'll take it when she finds out that John is a serial killer. John kisses Sally again but then says that he has to try for the sake of his children. Sally says that it's for him, not anyone else, and John agrees. She reminds John that Alex lied to her and tried to get him out her life, while Sally was there for him for five years. They start to have sex but then John shoves sally way, apologizes, and walks out.
In the hallway, Sally attacks John with a knife. He manages to disarm her and tells her to stay away from him, but Sally says that Alex will leave him when she learns what he is, and then Sally will kill her.
Iris and Liz give Mrs. Evers a washer/dryer and show her how to use it. Liz thanks her helping her reconnect with Douglas. Satisfied that they've settled all of their business in life, Iris and Liz wonder how to kill themselves. Mrs. Evers says that Douglas is in the bar and asks Liz what she wants her to tell him. Liz goes to the bar and Douglas tells her that she's taking his advice and starting the kayak business. As they share a toast, Liz says that she has something to tell Douglas and it's difficult. Douglas takes her hand, calls her "Dad," and says that it doesn't have to be difficult. He explains that his mother gave him a few clues, and recognizes his father. Douglas admits that it hurt when Liz left, and it lets him see when other people are messed up inside. He explains that he told his wife Janice that he was going to make things right, and she's happy for them both. Douglas says that he learned there's plenty of time to talk things out, and there's plenty of room for another woman in his life.
The Countess calls Donovan to her penthouse and they eat dinner. She says that she did something stupid even though it felt good at the time, and tells Donavan that she fed Will to Ramona. Now the Countess needs him to retrieve Will's body and put Ramona in the iron maiden. He agrees but says that he has a mess of his own to clean up. When she wonders what he means, Donavan suggests that she text Rudolph. Realizing what's happened, a sobbing the Countess goes to the motel and finds Rudolph's corpse.
Liz goes to Iris' room and Iris explains that she put out a selection of objects to kill themselves with. She then finishes her tribute video and plays it for Liz. Iris realizes that Liz is stalling, and Liz says that Douglas wants her back in his life. He figures that he could be a grandmother one day, and Iris figures that everyone else has abandoned her so why shouldn't Liz. As she loads a gun, Liz tells her that they are the ones who should take the hotel over. She calls Iris "friend," and says that the best is yet to come.
In the hallway, Alex tells john that there's no going back. They go into the children's room and John hugs Holden. Alex says that Holden will never change, and John says that it's time to go home. They walk out together and go through the lobby. Sally yells at them from the balcony and promises to kill him, but John tells his family to keep walking.
Donovan is dancing in the penthouse when the Countess comes in. She's surprised that he didn't run, and Donavan figures that there's no point. The Countess explains that she never found Rudolph and was unaware that he was trapped in the Cortez. Donavan says that they all have and at least now Rudolph is free. She wonders if Donavan wants to be set free, and Donavan admits that he might have. The Countess screams that Rudolph made her what she is, and Donavan figures that she made him in Rudolph's image. She tells Donavan that he could never be Rudolph, and he knew it and knew she'd come back to kill him. The Countess takes a drink and figures that Donavan doesn't care, and he says that he does care... but doesn't mind because it's the only way she'll let him love her. He kneels at her feet and puts her blade to his throat. The Countess admires the beauty of what she created... just as Iris and Liz come in and open fire on the Countess.
Written by Gadfly on Dec 17, 2015