Fr3om a villa in Italy, auteur Eric Jonrosh provides the intro for the never-before-seen filmitization of his novel, The Spoils Before Dying. A French lensmaker financed the film to showcase his new widescreen system, Bastilloscope, and Eric leaped at the chance to do post-post-French-neo-fakism. After the waitress, Doris, drops off Eric’s wine and fends off his advances, Eric chows down on a hamburger and continues explaining that the film of his novel is both a murder mystery and a jam session.
After a couple of minutes of opening credits agent Alistair St. Barnaby-Bixby-Jones goes to morgue. Coroner Gary Dunhill shows Alistair the body and he confirms that it’s his client, Rock Banyon.
Alistair then goes to the Swingyard Jazz Club where, after a long opening theme song, jazz musician Rock Banyon finishes his set playing for chartreuse Fresno Foxglove, the Topanga Songbird. Afterward, Alistair congratulates Rock on his set and reminds him of his plans to do a jazz & strings album. Fresno comes over and tells Rock that she has a last-minute money gig, and she’s going with Rock’s sax player. Rock offers her a $20, and Fresno says that she doesn’t need the cash and she’ll dig him later. Alistair leaves and Rock finds it odd that Fresno said no to $20. Instead he drinks a lot of Bagpipes O’Toole Grand Vodka-Flavored Scotch, takes some pills, and plays the piano.
The next morning, Rock wakes up in his apartment when two cops, Chip Donnelly and Kermit Biggs, pound on the door. Rock’s in bed with a girl, Red LaLane, and says that he was at the Swingyard all night. Rock admits that he blacked out, and they take him downtown and put him under arrest. The detectives question him and explain that Fresno turned up dead with another man. Rock admits that they were once lovers, and the detectives have minutes that Rock followed Fresno out of the club. The musician insists that he would never have killed Fresno, and Xxx explains that nobody cares about Fresno. The dead man with her is Wilber Stygamian, a world-class scientist. The detectives warn him that he’s heading to the electric chair, and Rock offers to find something out if they let him go. They give him three or two days to find the real killer.
Back at the Swingyard, Rock talks to the bartender, Beatrice. Alistair comes over and tells Rock that he’s booked on Arte Mann’s Late Night Jazzboree. Rock tells him to cancel it and explains that Fresno is dead. The musician borrows Alistair’s motorcycle and heads to Actual Mexico City, unsure if he killed Fresno during his blackout. As Rock drinks coffee at an outdoor café, Salizar Vasquez DeLeon comes up and introduces himself. He says that he’s a fan and asks for a French Like Boghei Cigarette, and asks if Rock has recently bought a golden cigarette case. Salizar asks if Rock is going to play jazz in Mexico City, and advises him to play at the Club Jaz-Tec. Delores DeWinter performs there, and Salizar says that Rock used to know her.
At the Jaz-Tec, Delores is singing when Rock comes in and applauds. Delores stares at him in shock and Rock stares back.
Eric assures his audience that they’re in for jazz, adventure, cops, cats, and dead people. He loses his train of thought and asks for his heart pills.
Written by Gadfly on Dec 20, 2015