A Priest Walks Into a Bar Recap

A pizza delivery boy arrives at a penthouse and Lucifer pays him off. As the delivery boy takes in the wild partying, Lucifer asks him if he's ever had a pornographic experience. The delivery boy admits that it never has, and Lucifer invites him in and introduces him to the Britanies. The women invites Lucifer to join him in the Jacuzzi, and he says that he'll be along in a minute.

The next day, Lucifer tells Linda that he never did join them. She suggests that he's attempting to fill a void with his partying, and says that he sounds lonely. Lucifer insists that he's never alone, and the therapist explains that being alone and loneliness aren't the same. Linda asks if he considers anyone he's with a friend, and Lucifer says that he and Maze are on the outs. She asks about Chloe, and Lucifer admits that he's not sure what they are.

Later, Lucifer returns to Luz and Maze tries to talk to him. He doesn't want to talk with a traitor, but Maze says that there's someone there who wants a favor and insists that Lucifer doesn't want to miss it. Intrigued, Lucifer goes down and discovers that his visitor is a priest. The man introduces himself as Father Frank Lawrence, and explains that he has a lot of contacts who have said that Lucifer is the man to see when there are no other options. Frank explains that he's there about a neighborhood youth center that is being used as a front for an illegal drug operation. The director, Lenny Arietta, is recruiting kids from Frank's church to move his product. Frank is concerned about one boy in particular, Connor, who lost both is parents. The priest figures that he's a good kid, and asks Lucifer to talk to Lenny about Connor. The police haven't found anything on Lenny, and God led Frank to Lucifer. Lucifer asks Frank what he really wants, and Frank says that he wants to beat Lenny. He admits that they all have demons inside, and Lucifer insists that they're sworn enemies. The Devil refuses to help, telling Frank to handle it himself.

Later, Lucifer convinces Chloe to go to the youth center. He wants to get dirt on Frank, figuring that he's hiding something. They knock at Lenny's door and get no answer, and discover that the door is locked. Chloe looks in and sees a body, and breaks in. She confirms that Lenny is dead and Lucifer figures Frank did it.

Chloe calls the CSIs in and they confirm that someone beat Lenny to death with a baseball bat. There's a voice modulator on the floor, and Chloe isn't convinced that Frank did it. The head counselor, Eric Doyle, comes over and insists that Lenny didn't have any enemies. He knows about Frank, and says that the priest is always coming around and getting into arguments with Lenny. Eric says that during the estimated time of the murder, he was in counselling sessions with Connor and Nikki. Chloe and Lucifer talk to the two teenagers, and neither one of them claim that Lenny had nothing to do with drugs. Lucifer is more interested in Frank, figuring that he's a pederast, Nikki figures that Frank is obsessive, but Connor says that the priest is just protective of him ever since his parents died. Connor and Nikki confirm that Frank was there earlier that morning, and Chloe thanks them for their help. As they leave, Chloe admits that Lucifer might be on to something.

At the station, Chloe brings up Frank's record. It shows that he has an extensive criminal record but nothing in the last ten years. Lenny filed a restraining order against him a week ago. Chloe figures that they have enough to bring Frank in and go to his church. As they go, Chloe spots Dan and tells Lucifer to go on ahead. As Lucifer leaves, he goes by Malcolm.

Chloe talks to Dan privately and asks if they're going to talk about their kiss a week ago. Dan nervously eyes Dan in the squad room and says that they should talk later. They agree to have takeout at Chloe's place that night. Once Chloe leaves, Malcom approaches Dan and says that he's back on duty. He tells Dan that he has a new partner: Dan. Dan asks what Malcolm's game is, and Malcolm figures that it's the best way to keep an eye on him. He figures that Dan shot him to protect Chloe at Palmetto, and if he comes clean than they both go to jail. Malcolm asks who will protect Chloe if Dan is in jail, and tells him to go into Evidence and get something for him.

Chloe and Lucifer go to Frank's church and Chloe tells Lucifer to stay put while she looks for Frank. Lucifer spots a woman going into a confessional booth and enters the other side. The woman, Mrs. Madison, says that she's having lustful thoughts about her husband's limo driver, and Lucifer tells her to embrace her desires despite what Frank told her earlier. He assures her that she has the desires for a reason, and then she can come back and be forgiven. Chloe finds Lucifer and demands to know what he's doing.

Malcolm goes to a parking garage to meet with Amenadiel, well aware that he brought him back. Amenadiel emerges from the shadows and says that he brought Malcolm back from the dead. Malcolm wonders why the angel chose him, and Amenadiel says that he's in a position to do what he needs done. He knows that Malcolm will do anything to avoid going back to Hell, and tells him to do as ordered. Malcolm assures him that everything is going according to plan, and Amenadiel warns that patience isn't one of his virtues.

Chloe finds Frank and he admits that he ignored the restraining authority and talked to Lenny. The priest says that they fought about Connor, and Frank was worried that Lenny was going to pull Connor into his drug ring. Lucifer points out Frank's bandaged right hand, and Frank admits that he punched Lenny and then left. He expresses surprised when they tell him that Lenny is dead, and insists that he didn't kill him. Frank admits that he was hearing Mrs. Madison's confession. Lucifer admits that Mrs. Madison confirmed Frank's alibi, but Chloe still has to take Frank in to get his statement. As they leave, a SUV drives by, shoots, and drives off before Chloe can stop them.

As the police secure the crime scene, Chloe has an officer run the partial she got from the shooter's plate. She has confirmed with Mrs. Madison that Frank was with her during the time of Lenny's murder. There's no prints or DNA on the voice modulator, and Chloe asks Frank what the shooting was about. He finally plays a recording of someone calling to tell him to keep out of the caller's business. Chloe figures that it's the voice modulator they found in Lenny's office, and Frank says that there's another dealer, The Spider, who was trying to take over Lenny's business. The priest finally says that Connor is already in deep with Lenny. He figures that there's still hope for the boy. Chloe offers police protection but Frank insists that his church is his sanctuary. Lucifer suggests another place to lie low.

Later, strippers dressed as nuns entertain at Lux. Lucifer tells Frank that he just wanted to make him feel at home. Chloe arrives and says that a match for the partial plates was stolen from outside the youth center. She's ordered traffic-cam footage so they can try and ID the driver. Chloe points out that Frank doesn't seem bothered by the strippers, and he merely says that he enjoys the song. He explains that before the cloth he was a touring musician and thought the fun would never stop. Then he was travelling with Connor and his family, because he used to play with the father because he was a drummer. Frank was in the car when they died... along with Frank's daughter, who also died. He says that turning to God is what saved him, and somehow it made him feel that his daughter was safe. Frank crossed paths with Connor again, and figures that God has a plan.

Chloe steps away to take a call, and Lucifer wonders why Frank thinks that they're similar. Frank figures that he's a better piano player, and Lucifer has him play. Lucifer plays something more upbeat, and frank joins in on a duet. Chloe comes back and watches them, amused. When Lucifer notices Chloe, he stops and admits that Frank wasn't terrible. Chloe says that she has a lead and Lucifer goes with her.

Chloe and Lucifer go to a young hangout where The Spider is rumored to go. As they look around, Lucifer insists that he's not friends with Frank. Chloe finds the whole thing adorable, and points out that some people get along best with the people they hate. They spot Nikki in a drug deal, and then see Connor meet her to collect the cash. Connor fires a gun into the air and runs off with Nikki. Chloe and Lucifer chase after them but they disappear into the night. The traffic footage comes in, confirming that Connor was the shooter from earlier.

Back at Lux, Chloe tells Frank what she's found out. He points out that it's not proof that Connor is The Spider, but Chloe points out that Connor fired into a room full of kids and took a shot at Frank. Frank goes out, claiming that he needs some air, and Chloe asks Lucifer to keep an eye on Frank while she does some digging. Lucifer goes to the balcony where Frank is considering a cigarette. Lucifer wonders if God talks back to him, and admits that God never talks to him, either. He assures Frank that he's not to blame about Connor, but Frank insists that everyone can be saved. Lucifer wonders how Frank can have faith in Connor, and Frank insists that God has faith in all of them. He wonders why Lucifer doesn't believe it, and Lucifer admits that God didn't have faith in him. Frank says that he thought that way once, but now he knows that God has a plan for him. When Lucifer says that God has a plan for him, Frank asks how he knows that it's finished. Rank gets a call and claims that it's one of his parishioners. He goes inside to take the call.

Dan meets Malcolm in a parking garage and gives him the gun from Evidence. Malcolm says that they're far from done and chuckles.

Chloe returns to Lux and she and Lucifer both realize that Frank has slipped out. Maze says that she heard Frank talking to Connor and they arranged a meeting. Maze wonders why Lucifer cares about a priest, and Lucifer insists that he doesn't. Chloe figures that Frank would hide Connor at his church and they take off.

At the church, Chloe and Lucifer see Connor inside, holding a gun on Frank. Connor insists that he doesn't have a choice and he doesn't need anyone. Eric comes up behind Connor and tells him to pull the trigger, and Chloe realizes that Eric is The Spider. Eric tells Connor that he's going to have to show him that he's not attached to the priest. Frank figures that Connor deliberately missed earlier, and now God is giving Connor a second chance. Eric tells Connor to shoot, and Frank tells the teenager that he has faith in him.

Connor finally tells Eric that he can't do it and drops the gun. Eric draws a gun and Frank leaps in the way as The Spider fires. Chloe shoots and wounds Eric, and Lucifer goes to Frank, furious that he's dying. As he lies dying, Frank tells Lucifer that he's not afraid of dying. Lucifer tells him that he has more to do, and Frank says that God put him in Lucifer's path. He tells Lucifer that his father has a plan, and Lucifer realizes that he knows who he really is... as Frank dies. Furious, Lucifer advances on Eric and prepares to kill him. He slams him against the wall and asks why he did it, and Chloe tells him to stop... because Frank wouldn't want it. After a moment, Lucifer drops Eric and turns to a sobbing Connor, who is kneeling by Frank's body.

As the police take away Eric and Connor, Chloe tells Lucifer that Connor gave them everything they needed against Eric. She figures that Frank was right and there's still hope for Connor. Lucifer insists that he's fine and goes back to Lux. He goes out on the balcony and then screams at God, calling him a manipulative bastard. Lucifer says that he knows punishment and Frank didn't deserve what happened to him. He asks what the point is if nobody can win, sinner or saint.

Chloe and Dan have takeout and Chloe finally asks if they can do it another time. Dan agrees.

Lucifer is playing one of Frank's songs when Chloe comes in. She says that she's there for Lucifer because she thought he could use a friend. Surprised, Lucifer asks if she plays piano. After a moment, she manages to play "Heart and Soul." Lucifer reluctantly joins in and they play together.

Malcolm is eating at a diner, enjoying his favorite foods, and Amenadiel appears next to him. The angel asks what's taking so long, and wonders if Malcolm wants to go back to Hell. Malcolm remembers what happened to him and apologizes, and then shows Amenadiel the untraceable gun that Dan stole. He says that he's ready now and asks Amenadiel who he wants him to kill. Amenadiel says that he wants Malcolm to kill Lucifer.

Written by Gadfly on Mar 22, 2016