Season 1 - Episode Guide

Simon Doonan remembers his glamour-starved childhood during the 90s. He recalls his mum's blind friend and her eating habits, and their neighbour's dress sense.

Simon Doonan recounts the time when auditioning for the school play led to his mother being arrested for assault, and the re-enactment of a famous horror film, which can only mean showtunes and gypsy skirts.

Simon Doonan remembers his mother's experiments with the occult and his grandmother's return from a mental hospital, which saw her change rather radically from the nicest granny in the world. Featuring conjoined twins and a bingo caller.

Birthdays have never been easy for Simon, especially when the whole school finds out what he really really wants. Meanwhile Ashlene meets a flasher and Aunty Hayley feels loved and a whole lot more.

Simon remembers the time when an overweight guide dog and two deaths dominated his young life. Meanwhile, Kylie covets a 'dusky Diana' hair colour while Simon wants Tameka's golden hair tongs.

A new teacher arrives at school who really may be one of the Beautiful People. Can this really be true? Simon and Kylie finally try to leave Reading for ultra glamorous London. In New York older Simon gets homesick.