Season 7 - Episode Guide

When Brian meets Carolyn, the girl of his dreams, he decides to follow Stewie's advice to take things slow. This drives Carolyn crazy, and she soon moves on to another man. When Brian discovers Cleveland is the new man, he does whatever it takes to win Carolyn back.

When Peter re-discovers his love for the painfully annoying yet seductively catchy tune "The Bird's the Word," Brian and Stewie decide to take matters into their own hands to ensure that the song will never be heard again! On the verge of tears, Peter goes to every record store in Quahog to track down his beloved jingle, when he runs into a familiar face. Realizing that it is the one and only Jesus Christ, Peter wants the world to know that he and J.C. are BFFs.

When Mort accidentally steps into a time machine, Brian and Stewie follow him in order to bring him back. But when they discover they're in Poland on the day of the Nazi invasion, things go from bad to worse and the trio has to find a way back to Quahog safely.

Peter wins a year of unlimited gas, and Brian suggests that the family use the funds to take a road trip to the Grand Canyon. So the Griffins pack up the car and hit the road, but leave some very precious cargo at home. When the family finally realizes that they have left behind one of their own, it's a mad, explosive, hilarious dash back to Quahog.

After watching Johnny Knoxville on "Jackass," Peter and the guys film their own shenanigans. When Brian gets hurt, the family worries that he's getting too old, so Peter brings home a new dog. Everything is great until the "new Brian" crosses the line and humps Stewie's favorite toy.

Peter's boss Angela sends him back to the third grade so that he can qualify for a work promotion. Meanwhile, Brian, Frank Sinatra Jr. and Stewie open the coolest club in Quahog.

After being pregnant for seven years, Bonnie finally gives birth to a beautiful baby girl named Susie! Stewie quickly falls for the little tyke and vows to do anything to win her heart and get in her diaper. Meanwhile, Joe borrows $20,000 from a bookie to pay for Bonnie's medical bills, but then plans to steal the money from Mr. Pewterschmidt to pay his debt.

To help pay off his incredible debt, Peter participates in medical experiments to make some extra cash. First, he is injected with the "Seth Rogen" gene that "gives you the appearance of being funny even though you haven't actually done anything funny." Then he is injected with a gene that leads him to a new mate, leaving a broken-hearted Lois behind. Although the family is crushed, they quickly realize the most important thing is that Peter is happy.

Peter cashes in a raffle ticket from 1989 and wins a golf outing with O.J. Simpson. When Peter befriends the infamous former running back and brings him home to meet the family, the residents of Quahog aren't so welcoming to the new houseguest and tell him to take a hike.

Lois lands a job as a news reporter where her first assignment is to shoot an investigative expose on a liberal filmmaker, but when her story implicates a conservative radio host she gets canned.

The Griffin family heads to the annual Quahog "Star Trek" convention, but Stewie blows a fuse when he doesn't get a chance to ask his favorite "Star Trek: The Next Generation" cast members any questions. He devises a plan, builds a transporter and beams the entire cast to his bedroom so they can spend a fun-filled day together.

After Brian gets thrown in the slammer for drug possession, he launches a campaign to legalize marijuana. Mayor West passes the law, and the whole town goes to pot.

After Stewie gets his baby butt kicked by Joe's infant daughter, he starts hitting the gym with Peter. It seems like all of Stewie's hard work is paying off until Peter drops a bombshell when he reveals just how Stewie got those six-pack abs. Meanwhile, Chris starts to date a popular girl at school and quickly realizes that popularity is like physics - as in what goes up must come down -.

When Brian discovers that his beloved Jillian is getting married, he hits the sauce to drown his sorrows. The next morning, he wakes up with more than a hangover. After realizing he has hooked up with "The Hills" star Lauren Conrad, he wants to run and hide. When Brian discovers Lauren is nothing like how she's portrayed on TV, he thinks he may have found his perfect match - if only he can let Jillian go.

After Peter discovers the writing of Stephen King, he imagines his family and friends in three of King's most famous works. First, Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland and Joe - as 12-year-olds - travel along a railroad track on a journey of self-discovery narrated by Richard Dreyfuss. Second, Brian is injured in a bad car crash only to be "rescued" by his "number one fan," Stewie. Finally, Cleveland and Peter become fast friends in prison.

Peter has his palm read by a psychic who reveals that he had a fascinating past life as Griffin Peterson, a dignified gentleman who vied for the love of Lady Redbush in 17th century England and in the newly founded American colony of Quahog. It was a time of great love and adventure where King Stewart reigned supreme, the smartest dog in the room was the court jester, army lieutenants were merely boys and even old England loved "How I Met Your Mother".