Sanford and Son - Episode Guide

Lamont buys a porcelain figure for $15 from a silent movie star and after having it appraised, Lamont and Fred decide to take it to an auction to make even more money on it. Fred and Lamont attend the auction pretending to be buyers so that the price can be jacked up higher. However, things go awry to Lamont's dismay.

Lamont buys Fred a new hat for his birthday and then tries to take him out on the town to celebrate. However, a visit to a fancy bar, a movie theater to seeFiddler on the Roofand dinner at a Chinese restaurant are far from a celebration for Fred.

Engaged, Lamont is excited about his impending nuptials but on the wedding day he quickly finds himself the only one who is. The bride dumps him at the altar and he finds his relatives begging to get back their wedding gifts.

Fred and Lamont buy a load of copper from a man that has been stealing copper in the neighborhood. The man is late for a meeting with Lamont at the diner because he is ripping off the Sanford plumbing pipes, which he then sells to Fred and Lamont.

Lamont comes down hard on Fred to try to get him to quit smoking and has him go to the doctor for a chest x-ray. Later, the results are sent in the mail and Fred becomes convinced he has tuberculosis.

While cleaning the house, Fred knocks over Lamont's glass figurine collection. Trying to cover up the fact that he broke them, Fred makes up a story about how the house was robbed and how he fought them off. In the process, he is labeled as a hero and Fred takes advantage of it.

Lamont tries to have a quiet evening with his latest girlfriend, Darlene, but has little privacy thanks to an annoying Fred who keeps interrupting them. Fed up, Lamont decides to move into his own apartment, which at first worries Fred but then discovers he himself has privacy.

Fred does not feel like paying his bills and he throws them in the trash claiming that they never arrived, dragging out the services for as long as he can. After doing so, Fred receives threats that say that they will turn off the gas, electricity, and other utilities, and repossess his furniture if he does not pay.

Lamont purchases two coffins from an auction to try and get a profit if he sells them to a funeral parlor. In the process, Fred becomes paranoid by having the coffins in the house and refuses to sleep in the house with the coffins. Lamont doesn't think much of it, until he begins hearing strange noises at night.

Fred proposes marriage to Donna Harris, a widow whom Fred is in love with. Lamont can't understand why a practical nurse in her 40's would be interested in a 65-year old junk dealer, and does his best to oppose their impending nuptials.

Fred wants a new color television set and Lamont wants a new car. The problem is that they cannot afford both of them, so Lamont buys the car. However, after Fred discovers Lamont's purchase, he comes up with a scheme that involves him pretending to have amnesia until Lamont will buy him a color television.

While collecting junk, Lamont runs across an old suitcase and decides it could be worth something. However, once he gets it home, Fred makes a shocking discovery when he opens the case to discover that it is stuffed with money. Lamont wants to turn the money in and Fred wants to keep it and locks in a safe. Just then a gunman shows up wanting the money.

Fred and Donna reconcile their differences and get back together with marriage being on both of their minds. Fred breaks the news to Lamont, who once again is dead set against the whole idea and decides that two can play that game and cooks up a scheme to stop Fred and Donna's impending nuptials.

A wealthy man wants to get rid of a grand piano and Lamont gets a great deal on it. However, the big problem turns out to be moving it out of the man's apartment.

Fred is sure that his dreams will be good luck in picking numbers for a lottery and his hunch turns out to be true, despite the fact that Lamont forbids him to participate. Fred quickly finds himself $500 richer but also finds Aunt Ethel and Bubba needing quick cash.

After getting in an accident with the truck, Fred thinks that he might have whiplash and Fred's friend Bubba convinces him that he can make big money off of the situation. Lamont is against the whole idea but Fred insists on going through with a lawsuit, but first Fred must identify the person the hit him.

Fred's cousin arrives with his new wife and his not-so-attractive stepdaughter, Betty Jean. When Fred finds out that she will inherit $10,000 if she marries, he tries to fix it so that Lamont will marry her. However, Fred's plan backfires when Lamont catches on to his scheme.

Donna, Fred's fiancee, brings a patient, Osgood Wilcox over for dinner at the Sanford residence and it becomes apparent that Osgood is interested in more than just medical care from Donna. Meanwhile, Lamont encourages Fred to believe there is something going on between Osgood and Donna resulting in a confrontation.

Fred's toothache becomes an exercise in patience for Lamont when Fred refuses to see a dentist and instead tries Bubba's home remedy and a hypnotist. Finally, Fred decides to throw in the towel and visits a dentist but insists on a white dentist.

Fred gets a surprise one night when Lamont announces that he's having some friends over to play poker. However, Fred doesn't take Lamont's advice at "getting lost" since he's convinced Lamont's so-called friends are trying to hustle him out of his money.

One evening, Lamont and his friend Rollo go out. When they return they interrupt a robber trying to flee from the scene. Later they discover the crook dropped his gun and in an attempt to get some quick cash, decide to pawn it. However, once at the pawn shop, the broker mistakes Fred wanting money for the gun for a stickup.

Fred gets a new next door neighbor and is shocked to learn that he is Puerto Rican and planning on opening a junk business of his own. Fred gets upset about the competition and contrives a plan to get the city to condemn his property especially since, Julio has a pet goat.

Lamont pays $50 for an antique gun and brings it home to show Fred. Fred begins re-enacting war stories and accidentally pulls the trigger not knowing it's loaded. The blast shoots through the next door neighbor's window, who suddenly drops from site just after having a heated argument with Fred. Fred jumps to the conclusion that he killed him.

Lamont is fed up working with Fred and quits the partnership. He soon finds a job down the street at a rival junk collector's business. Meanwhile, Fred looks for another partner and finds one in Norman, whose first contribution is a stuffed bear.

Fred's old girlfriend Juanita stops by for dinner with her daughter, Alice. Lamont falls for Alice and thinks of asking for her hand in marriage. However, Juanita tells Fred that Alice is his daughter and Lamont is wining and dining his sister.

Fred and Lamont find a homeless bum sleeping in a bathtub in their yard. After trying to get him to move on, he pretends that he gets hurt on their property and threatens to sue. Fred and Lamont try everything in their power to persuade him not to sue and Fred does his best to try to prove the bum is not really injured.

Fred and Donna's on again off again relationship is back on and he invites her to dinner. Later, Fred gets a visit from a saleslady who peaks his interest and he blindly invites her to dinner, forgetting all about Donna. Thanks to Lamont's manipulations, he makes sure Fred has to juggle the dates around, keeping up appearances.

After Fred gets a minor injury from a car accident, Lamont and Fred seek to find a maid to help out around the house. After looking, they get what the agency has at the bottom of the barrel. However, the erratic white woman does nothing but add to Fred's pain.

Fred and Lamont have bills coming out of their ears and consider going on welfare, something Fred refuses to do. Fred comes up with a plan to throw a "big party" in the Sanford home and charge admission. That's when two hoods show wanting a part of the action. Meanwhile, Aunt Esther is trying to find a place to hold her weekly church group meetings.

Fred and Lamont take a tour through the NBC studios and Fred gets a kick out of seeing Johnny Carson's parking spot. However, what Fred really gets a kick out of is seeing Lena Horne's car and sneaks into her dressing room. After meeting her, he tries to trick her into visiting him at his home.

Lamont goes totally African. He starts to wear African clothing, and yearns to learn more about the culture. At the same time, Fred thinks that the whole thing is ridiculous, that is until a woman from Nigeria visits and explains to Lamont how sacred listening to your father is in African culture and how you should respect him.

Fred is up in arms when he discovers his neighbor, Julio's family is visiting and may move out to California. However, things really hit the fan when Fred learns that Lamont has asked Julio's sister, Maria out, something Fred is totally against.

Fred meets a young woman and he quickly announces to Lamont that he has proposed to her. However, Lamont is in for a big surprise when he meets Fred's fiancee who just happens to be Lamont's old flame, whom he would like to marry himself.

Next door neighbor, Julio, has become a very good friend of Lamont's. With Lamont, spending so much free time with Julio, Fred begins to feel left out and decides to try to be more like one of the guys. However, Fred quickly learns the advantages of having so much free time and no one to hoard in on it.

Lamont breaks the news to Fred that he plans to join the crew of a tramp steamer and sail around the world. A shocked Fred gets another shock, Lamont plans on putting him in a retirement home.

Lamont pays twenty bucks for a commode that he thinks is a valuable antique.

A 9 year old runaway child shows up on the Sanfords' property and Fred is against having any little kids around to cause problems but Fred quickly lightens up the young boy despite his gruff exterior. Fred then takes it upon himself to teach the kid to appreciate what he's got at home.

Lamont and Rollo answer an ad that promises them stardom through low-budget movies. Fred gets a hold of the brochure and decides to try out too. When they get down there they quickly discover the low budget movies are X-rated followed by a police raid and Fred, Lamont and Rollo are hauled off to jail.

Fred comes home to find Lamont and his drama teacher Marilyn acting out a choking scene from the play "Othello." Fred then jumps to the logical conclusion that Lamont is trying to kill a white woman. Later, Fred becomes the victim of assumption when Marilyn invites Fred and Lamont to her place and her parents think Fred and Lamont are trying to rob the place.

Lamont visits an astrologist and discovers he's a double Libra, thus his goal in life is for peace and decides to get along with his father at all costs. Meanwhile, Fred eats a batch of 8 day-old greens and gets sick and becomes convinced he's dying. This leads to Grady spreading the word of Fred's supposedly impending death, which draws Aunt Esther and her friends out of the woodwork.

Lamont and Julio go out one evening to shoot pool leaving a left-out Fred behind to sulk. Fred soon finds himself a witness to a burglary when he confronts two thieves burglarizing Julio's house. Later, Fred refuses to testify and identify the culprits out of fear and a frustrated Lamont and Julio put a plan into motion to get him to, and it starts when Fred's truck is stolen.

Rollo and Lamont are managing a girl singing group from Philadelphia, The Three Degrees. They stay at the Sanford house while preparing for a talent show at the Safari Club. Fred is against the notion at first until he meets the three sexy girls. At the Safari Club, Lamont is surprised when Fred and his friends arrive and they start heckling the other acts.

Fred and Lamont's TV set is on its last legs and Lamont considers buying a brand new one, however Fred buys a used color TV set for cheap. Things get out of hand when Fred's friend Grady stops by and recognizes Fred's new set as his set that was stolen. Fred quickly wants an out of the situation and sells it to his neighbor Julio for $50.

Lamont and Rollo are out on the town one evening and decide to stop in at a new bar for a couple drinks. However, they soon realize they have stumbled into a gay bar. Unknown to them, Bubba just happened to see them go inside. Bubba promptly jumps to conclusions and then proceeds to tell Fred that Lamont is gay. Not believing Bubba's story, Fred decides to get to the bottom of the situation.

Lamont has decided to go in on a partnership with Julio in a used auto parts business venture and Fred becomes convinced that Lamont is abandoning their junk business. Against the whole notion, Fred decides he's not going to stay where he's not wanted and gets a bed at the local mission. Lamont and Julio cook up a scheme in order to lure him back to his home.

Fred gets news that an uncle has died and has left him $1500 in his will. The only thing is, in order to get the money, Fred has to fly to St. Louis to claim it. However, first he must overcome a fear of flying and Lamont is up in arms trying to help him.

Fred and Donna enjoy an evening out on the town but then Donna breaks the news that she has had another man propose marriage to her. Not wanting to lose her, Fred decides to propose marriage himself and they plan a small wedding ceremony. However, Lamont is totally against the whole thing and has Aunt Esther and family confront Donna and question her intentions.

Lamont advises Fred to donate a collection of Blind Mellow Jelly records to a music library for a tax write-off. After doing so, Fred finds out from an appraiser that the records are valued at five hundred dollars. Fred, with dollar signs in his eyes, has Bubba act as though he were the son of Blind Mellow Jelly in an attempt to get them back.

For a birthday present, Lamont buys Fred a pool table. But things get out of hand when Fred invites his buddies over for some friendly games. They quickly overstay their welcome and eat and drink Fred and Lamont out of house and home. Lamont quickly regrets ever buying the pool table for Fred and tries to convince him that the house is not a pool hall.

Grady is fed up being a boarder for the bickering Ferguson's and vents his frustrations to Fred. Immediately seeing an opportunity to make some quick cash, Fred tries to convince Lamont to agree to let Grady be a "paying boarder" at the house. However, Fred quickly realizes the drawbacks and must find a way to break the news to his old friend.

Fred and his buddies are down over the death of a close friend and Aunt Esther's over-reacting does nothing to help. Thus, Fred decides to throw a cheer-up party and intends to have it in the Sanford home, complete with booze, music and friends of Fast Fanny, a topless waitress.

Grady has a a piece of juicy gossip and is just dying to tell everyone. It seems Grip, an old friend, dated Fred's late-wife, Elizabeth, prior to her getting married to Fred. Elizabeth and Grip had been intimate and Lamont is the result. Fred is convinced Grip is nothing but a "jive turkey" and Esther may have the answer to this paternity question.

Lamont is disgusted when he receives a traffic ticket for failure to yield on a right turn. Lamont is sure he did the most prudent thing for the situation and lets Fred talk him into fighting the ticket in court. Lamont is prepared to fight for himself but once in the court room he finds himself being represented ... by Fred!

While cleaning out the yard, Fred discovers some of Julio's junk on his property and demands that it be removed promptly. Soon, a feud erupts primarily due to Fred, who has a surveyor come over to determine where exactly the property line is. However, what is determined is not exactly what Fred had in mind and sets out to mislead Julio.

When a man stops by the Sanford residence seeking funds for a heart association, Lamont, finds out some interesting facts about heart attacks and decides to use the info to his advantage. The next time Fred has a supposed heart attack, Lamont doesn't take no for an answer and Fred ends up in the hospital for a checkup.

Lamont and Rollo are planning a double date and they have a plan to get Fred out of the house so they can have it all to themselves. However, Fred catches on and Lamont and Rollo must make do with the cramped quarters of Rollo's apartment, but they still have problems, the girls aren't happy with the entire arrangement, right down to the refreshments, that's when Fred steps in.

Grady has been left in charge while Fred is visiting family in St. Louis and has promised to look after Lamont who comes home with a bloody nose, courtesy of Jo-Jo Jackson, after a fight over a woman. After taking a couple of karate lessons, Lamont goes back to the bar to confront Jo-Jo. However, a concerned Grady, decides tries to intervene.

A woman, whom Fred once had a drunken fling with, stops by and becomes convinced that Grady is Fred. Grady is in shock and Lamont is no help trying to convince her otherwise. But Grady has an even bigger problem: The woman decides to hold him to the promise Fred made - marriage.

After promising Fred that he will keep certain rules alive while he's in St. Louis, Grady tries to keep the house free of Aunt Esther's Bible meetings as well as not allowing Lamont and Rollo to have a party with a couple of fine ladies. In response, Lamont changes all the locks in the house when Grady goes out to a movie, however, Aunt Esther and the members of her Bible meeting become the next interference.

Lamont and Grady have an unexpected visitor show up at their doorstep and it turns out to be Woody, Aunt Esther's husband who has been thrown out of the house. Fearing that his marriage is over, Woody asks to stay at the Sanford residence but Grady is against the idea. However, things get worse when Aunt Esther decides to move instead and kicks Woody to the wind.

Lamont's latest girlfriend, Judy is falling in love with him and likes the idea of settling down someday with the right guy. However, Lamont isn't too happy with that notion and makes up a lie that Grady is his godfather and they'd need his blessing. Judy moves ahead and goes out of her way to shower Grady with her attention.

Grady's cousin, Emma, has moved from Chicago to California and stops in by Grady and Lamont for a visit. However, the visit turns into a short stay, which is something Lamont is against from the very beginning. Pretty soon, it appears that Cousin Emma is going to stay for quite awhile and fakes illness to get people to wait on her.

Fred returns from his extended trip to St. Louis and Lamont, Donna, Aunt Esther, Bubba, Rollo and Grady have planned a surprise party for his return. Fred no more than steps in the door and Aunt Esther and him are at each other's throats. However, the real problem comes when Fred does some eavesdropping on Lamont and Grady.

Lamont's Uncle George dies and in his will he gives Lamont $7,000 if he weds and has a child and names it after his uncle and he has a year to do all this. Lamont has decided not to get married any time soon but blinded by dollar signs, Fred sneaks down to a dating service to match Lamont up with an available woman. Lamont catches on to Fred's plan and makes up a plan of his own to intervene.

It's the 35th anniversary of Sanford & Son Salvage and Lamont has two gifts planned to give Fred. The first is a new window with the specially printed title of their business and the other is an expensive ring that everyone has chipped in to buy. However, when Fred runs across it, he becomes convinced that it was stolen from Frank Sinatra, after Frank's hotel room was ransacked by the Tip-Toe Bandit.

Grady is bursting with news and breaks it to Fred and Lamont that he's engaged to a woman he met at J.C. Penny. However, Fred and Lamont are shocked to discover the "raging beauty" Grady raved about is not exactly a beauty queen. Fred soon finds Grady spending all his time with her and sets a plan into motion to break them up.

Lamont's friends Julio and Ah Chew are getting on Fred's nerves and Lamont takes on the challenge of trying to change Fred's bigotry towards minorities. When Lamont fails, he decides to move out and in with Julio, something that unnerves Fred who doesn't seem to get use to the arrangement.

The tax season has come and after an accountant goes through the books he finds that Fred and Lamont will end up owing the government. The accountant explains the situation and Lamont decides to go out and gets a job at a clothing store, so more money is coming into the household. Fred fears this may be the end of Sanford & Son Salvage.

A Japanese land development company wants to buy out the neighborhood with plans to build a brewery in the area. Fred, holding out gets bitten by greed. Fred's greed is disguised as a "heartwarming" sentimentality and he's using it to squeeze as much money as he can get out of the developer.

Fred makes a deal and buys a horse with a great racing history. Fred tries to get the animal to breed so that he can have a lot of money making champions hoofing and stomping around the place. However, there is just one problem Fred must overcome, the horse he bought is a gelding, which has Lamont saying "I told you so" to yet another one of Fred's moneymaking schemes.

Fred has a romantic night planned with Donna but Aunt Esther drops in at the last moment with some news, her niece, Elizabeth is in town and she wants Fred to have her stay with him. Fred is against the idea at first but when he takes one look at her he agrees, she is the spitting image of his late-wife, Elizabeth. However, there is another problem. Elizabeth is planning to move into an apartment in town and she will have two roommates, one female and the other male.

Julio's sister and nephew, Carlotta and Roberta, are coming for a visit and Julio has a problem, they are allergic to his pet goat, Chico. Thus, Julio asks Fred and Lamont if it would be okay for them to stay with them. Against the idea at first, Fred quickly softens to them and becomes involved with a problem that Roberto is dealing with at school.

With Fred in St. Louis, Grady has been put in charge of taking care of his garden. Grady quickly notices a strange plant growing and assumes that it's wild parsley. However, Rollo is convinced it's marijuana and Lamont decides to turn it into the police. However, when Smitty and Hoppy arrive, the plants are gone but Grady has made dinner for everyone, a nice big salad for everyone.

After Lamont's friend Sandra takes Fred and Lamont to an art museum, Fred finds out that he can make art out of the junk in his pile. Thus, Fred begins the creation that will convey his legacy for eternity. However, the final result is far from an artistic masterpiece and Lamont has to decide how to break the news to his proud father.

Grady is getting too many Social Security checks in the mail and he is contemplating on whether or not he should be honest about reporting them or not. He finally decides the latter and keeps them, gambling them away in Las Vegas. Aunt Esther hits the ceiling when she learns of the situation and just then a phone call from the Social Security office comes into the Sanford residence.

Julio has gotten tired of the junk business and that's when Lamont comes up with an idea, Sanford & Son Salvage should merge with Julio's business. Julio goes for the idea but Fred is against it, but they merge anyway to form Sanford & Fuentes Salvage. However, everyone soon realizes the consequences attached to such a decision.

Lamont's friend Herman has just gotten out of prison and doesn't have a place to stay. So Lamont invites him to stay at the Sanford residence. However, when Grady learns that he's an ex-con, he nails down everything in the house. Meanwhile, Lamont finds Herman a job at Esther's hardware store and doesn't tell her that he has served time.

Lamont comes home one evening and discovers Fred preparing a gourmet dinner and learns it's to celebrate the arrival of an old friend of Fred's, Bowlegs, a musician, who's visiting. Bowlegs' act is to be put on at a nightclub but when his partner strains his back, Fred and Lamont must fill in to fulfill the nightclub's requirements.

Lamont's politically involved girlfriend stresses involvement in the community's problems. This leads Lamont to phone into a radio talk show to express his views. Positive reaction leads to Lamont deciding to run for state assembly. But Fred soon finds out that this means that Lamont may move to Sacramento and leave the junk business.

The cast appears on Wheel and Deal, hosted by Harry Monty.

Fred's friend, Yerby is the manager of a champion boxer, Junior Joe Louis. Fred goes in and buys half ownership. Fred then begins training the boxer for an upcoming fight but soon runs into trouble. For Junior is pulled from the fight because of to Fred's stubbornness.

Fred cleans the house from top to bottom and Lamont is stunned. Then he learns the reason: Fred's baby sister, Frances is visiting to announce her engagement. Fred is excited, but he soon finds her fiance, Rodney is white.

Lamont has had a chronic headache for three days and isn't sure what's causing it. A doctor suggests that Lamont consult a psychiatrist since the cause may be stress. Once at the psychiatrist's office, the doctor determines that Fred is the cause of Lamont's headaches.

Lamont has Julio, Rollo and another buddy over for a poker game and Fred has had it with their gambling. Meanwhile, an old friend of Fred's, Al Banks, a professional gambler, stops by for a visit and this gives Fred an idea on how to teach Lamont and his friends a lesson. However, the lesson goes awry and Al runs out with the cash.

Lamont has been in a daze around the house, singing songs and incredibly cheerful to everyone he talks to. Grady and Fred deduce that the boy must be in love. Fred learns that Lamont is on the verge of proposing marriage to one particular girl who works at a dress shop. So he goes down to meet her and is in for a shock, since the girl turns out to be a woman at least ten years older than Lamont.

Lamont takes Fred down the doctor's office for a checkup and Fred is socked with a large doctor bill. Realizing Fred's financial position, the doctor gives Fred six months to pay his doctor bill. Lamont overhears the conversation and becomes convinced Fred only has six months to live. Thinking Fred is dying, he rallies friends and family to prepare a party and try to get Lena Horne to pay Fred another visit.

Grady decides it's time for a change and moves out of Watts and into fashionable Westwood to live with his daughter, Ellie, her husband Hal, and their two children, Laurie and Haywood. As a housewarming gift, Grady purchases an oil painting to hang over their fireplace. However, the painting he chooses proves to be quite distasteful.

Fred wakes up one morning to discover what looks like a robbery took place but learns that there was a small earthquake overnight. Grady breaks the news that a big one is scheduled to hit on the 6th and a fed up Fred decides to sell the house and move. Meanwhile, Fred heads to Las Vegas to avoid the earthquake on the 6th and has a run in with Merv Griffin and Steve and Eydie.

Aunt Esther is fed up with her husband, Woodrow and has decided to end her marriage. She has become convinced that he's seeing other women behind her back and becomes even more convinced when Fred tries to hook him up with a swinger. Refusing to live in the same house with Woody, Esther moves in with Fred and Lamont.

Julio has moved out of his house and Fred and Lamont decide to buy it and turn it into a boarding house and call it The Sanford Arms. To get enough money for the project, Fred and Lamont go down to the bank to apply for a loan but soon find themselves hostages in a bank robbery attempt.

Julio's house has been transformed into Fred and Lamont's boarding house called The Sanford Arms. Now they've come to the task of finding some boarders and soon find themselves bombarded with an endless supply of crazies, including a hooker, an ex-con, a hippie, a newlywed couple, and Hoppy's eccentric mother.

Fred and Lamont are appalled when they see a sitcom, Steinberg and Son which amazing seems to be modeled on the life of Fred and Lamont. Fred and Lamont decide to check it out themselves and go to a taping of an episode and are shocked to see the similarities. In fact, the only thing different from the sitcom and Fred and Lamont's lives are the names of the characters and the fact that the cast is white. Lamont and Fred hire a lawyer and prepare a million dollar lawsuit against the producers.

Fred's sister, Frances and her white husband, Rodney have been having some hard times and they stop by to ask Fred if they could stay with him for awhile. Meanwhile, problems at the Sanford Arms has Fred considering giving Rodney a job as general manager. But Rodney may not accept it since he's scheduled to perform in an act at a nightclub.

The Sanford home has become a campaign headquarters for the candidate Bob Williams and Fred wants nothing to do with it. However, once Fred discovers, Della Reese is working on the campaign of Williams' opponent, he goes all out for it even thought he's not for the candidate.

Donna receives a marriage proposal from another man and she decides to base her answer on whether or not Fred is ever going to ask her. Fred must make the choice now as to whether or not he is going to marry Donna. This leads Fred into turmoil and leads him to ask Elizabeth a heart felt question on whether or not she would object to him remarrying.

Lamont is a judge for the Miss Watts Business Wife and the winner of the pageant wins $1,000. Fred quickly makes it clear that he will do anything to get his hands on the money. He even agrees to transform Aunt Esther into an elegant beauty as part of a bet he has with her husband, Woody.

Lamont's friend, Ah Chew cooks dinner for the Sanfords one evening and a wary Fred is quite impressed at how good the food is. This leads Fred and Ah Chew to start a takeout business together with the headquarters in the Sanford home. Fred soon realizes that they should expand the business and turn the house into a Japanese restaurant.

Saturday night sees Fred heading over to Donna's for a date that he didn't tell her about before hand. Once he arrives, he discovers Donna already has a date with a man who's won the decathlon every year in the Senior Olympics. Wanting to outdo him, Fred decides to compete in the Olympics this year and beat his romantic competition.

Fred is a Scrooge-like miser during the Christmas season and his friends try to get him to join into the Christmas spirit, but he rejects the attempts. After being accused of a being a Scrooge, Fred falls asleep and dreams up "A Christmas Carol." Now it is up to the spirits to take on the challenge that his friends failed at.

Fred lands in the hospital after an accident in which Fred accidentally witnesses a murder attempt. With a guarded hospital room, Fred becomes suspicious of everyone since the real criminal wants him killed. However, Fred is after the reward money he'll get if he testifies despite putting his life on the line.

Lamont has been saving for acting school and has just enough money. Meanwhile, Fred sees a commercial for a get rich quick scheme and decides to give it a try. Thus, he invests Lamont's money in a supply of Whopper Choppers that he must try to sell. However, selling them is the hard part.

A tenant at The Sanford Arms doesn't have enough money for the rent so he leaves Fred his pet elephant as collateral. Fred quickly finds a city official on his back for keeping an elephant in the neighborhood and he quickly comes up with an idea to make some money: put on a mini-circus. Bubba plays a clown, Esther a fire-eater, and Lamont a weight lifter.

Lamont leaves town with Rollo to go on a fishing trip but before he goes, he makes a bet with Fred. He is sure Fred won't make money during the week he is gone. Fred sets to prove him wrong by renting out Lamont's room. Fred finds himself in a bind when the pregnant girl he boarded goes into labor.

Fred has been watching way too much television and Lamont suggests that he go out and get some exercise. Fred scoffs and refuses which leads to an argument which results in the television breaking. Lamont refuses to get it fixed until Fred agrees to start exercising. Lamont later brings in a doctor to hypnotize Fred to help him get over his television addiction.

Lamont has been seeing Janet for quite awhile and Lamont thinks he's in love. But he doesn't know too much about her and hasn't wanted to push her into telling him. Thus, Fred decides to find out exactly what she's hiding and he goes undercover with Aunt Esther to dig up the dirt.

In another get rich quick scheme, Fred decides to go down to an escort service with a friend of his and try to apply as escorts. Flatly rejected, Fred decides to open his own escort service complete with false advertising which results in Fred having to escort three ladies in one night.

Lamont has been seeing Janet for some time now and he has decided to pop the question. Lamont tells Fred of his plans and he is happy for him. Unfortunately, Fred also discovers after the wedding that the couple does not want to live with Fred.

Lamont has gotten a part in a community play and has great news, George Foreman has agreed to appear in it as well. Dying to meet the boxer, Fred intrudes on the rehearsals and drives the director up the wall, which leads him to quit. This is when Fred steps in as director and makes some immediate changes.

Fred is being honored with the Watts Businessman-of-the-Year Award and he's all hyped up about accepting it. However, an unexpected turn of events lands Fred with a serious back problem and takes up means to try to get rid of it, including, acupuncture, meditation and a corset.

While Fred is babysitting his soon-to-be grandson, Roger helps a customer and sells him some junk including three medals. After Fred learns of Roger's sale he envisions a story about just how he got those medals. Fred's story has him as a Patton like character fighting during World War II and battling espionage.

Fred and Lamont go on a camping trip in the wilderness but Fred quickly gets sick of the great outdoors and demands that they return home. However, they quickly realize that they are stranded when the truck refuses to start. This leads father and son to reminisce about times they have spent together. Fred and Lamont recall scenes from previous episodes including:My Kingdom for a Horse, Earthquake II and The Engagement Man Always Rings Twice

Three jewel thieves try and find a way to smuggle some expensive diamonds from Hawaii to L.A. That is where Fred and Lamont come in. Fred goes to Hawaii to attend a Junkmen of America convention. The crooks then plan to sneak the jewels on Fred so that he can take them to L.A. without knowing anything about it.

The diamond thieves continue their plot to have Fred smuggle the stolen diamonds into the United States. Freddy Wells sneaks into Fred's hotel room and plants the diamonds in his suitcase. Later, Lamont and Fred discover the diamonds and hesitate to call the police.

During a mishap at the airport Fred accidentally misplaces the suitcase with the diamonds and the crooks start chasing Lamont and him all over Hawaii, trying to get them back. Meanwhile, the cops close on in, but not before guns are drawn on Fred and Lamont as the crooks trap them on a boat.

Fred and Lamont have been busy planting a small garden in their yard when suddenly a professor stumbles in and suggests that they may be sitting on some oil. Later, Fred plants his scarecrow in the garden and actually strikes some oil. This leads to Fred and Lamont to ponder the fact that they may soon be millionaires.

Fred becomes smitten with a woman, Miss Wallace who comes to the Sanford residence looking for a place to stay at the Sanford Arms. Meanwhile, a thief has been spotted in the neighborhood and to get the reward money, Fred lets the cops set up a stakeout in his home. However, Fred is in for a shock since the thief has been in disguise as Miss Wallace.

Lamont's mother-in-law to be is coming to Watts for a visit and Fred is a little concerned about what she's going to think of a common junk man. This leads Fred to decide to create a legacy and tries to set a world's record and get his name in the Guinness Book of World Records. His goal is to be the person to stay awake the longest.

Fred becomes a victim of a con game when, two men convince him to begin a bogus special "Sanford & Son" sales promotion, in which the lucky winner wins $500. However, Fred has no intention of handing out that much bread but unknown to Fred, the con men have rigged the game so they end up being the lucky winners and Fred will have to pay them the money after all.

Fred has been chosen to represent the Watt's businessmen on a community relatives committee and his first official decision is to allow the public library to be open an hour longer. However, his next decision doesn't seem to be so easy to decide after a crooked businessman tries to bribe Fred with $1000 to vote for a building expansion.

Lamont threatens once again to leave the junk business on account that they aren't making much money. However, he also wants to quit and get a full-time job due to his impending nuptials. Fred then hatches a scheme by borrowing money from the bank and pretending that business is picking up big time, while secretly working as a waiter at a restaurant down town.

Fred gets a letter in the mail from someone named Carol who claims that Fred knew her 40 years ago and that she's coming for a visit. However, Fred doesn't recall knowing any Carols and is in for a shock when Carol turns out to be a man. Another shock, Carol claims that he and Fred robbed a bank years ago.

Aunt Esther and Woody have decided to have a baby and set up an appointment with an adoption agency to adopt an older child. However, on the day of a preliminary interview, Woody, so nervous about the prospects of being a father, gets drunk, threatening their chances for an adoption. A heartbroken Esther turns to Fred for help.

The day has come for Aunt Esther and Woody to meet their son but they are in for a shock when he helps himself to their cash register. Later, Esther is in for an even bigger shock when he announces that he doesn't believe in God. Esther promptly kicks him out and he takes refuge at the Sanford residence.

Lamont runs into Chuck Barris in a parking lot and he generously gives Lamont four tickets to a taping ofThe Gong Show, which happens to be Fred's favorite game show. Fred decides to try to be a contestant and sets up an act with his brother-in-law, Rodney and Lamont. However, at the last minute, Rodney hurts his back and can't be in the act.

Lamont and Esther decide to get the furniture re-upholstered as a surprise present for Fred. In order to get it done, they have to convince him the furniture was stolen. However, when Fred takes it upon himself to report it to the insurance company, he ends up with brand new furniture and Lamont is speechless.

The tax season has come and Fred and Lamont have been going through their inventory to prepare their tax papers. However, Fred gets preoccupied when he discovers Redd Foxx is in town holding a look-alike contest and Fred is certain he will win the contest and the $100 that comes along with it.

Esther has stopped by the Sanford residence to talk Fred into singing for a talent show. Grady is all set to be in the show with a magic act and for his most daring trick ever, he handcuffs Fred and Esther together. The only problem is that he can't understand how to get the two out of this dilemma because the directions for escaping the trick are written in Chinese.

The Sanford residence is in chaos and it is all due to Fred's sudden loss of hearing. Lamont is convinced Fred has a problem, but Fred denies it but Lamont takes him to a doctor just the same. However, after the doctor removes the wax build up, Fred decides to stay "deaf" just a little bit longer in an attempt to hold Donna's attention.

Lamont and his fiancee, Janet are just one step away from the alter. However, a kink is put into their plans when after her wedding shower, her ex-husband John shows up. Meanwhile, Lamont has been having pre-wedding jitters and this just adds to them and Janet finds herself dealing with old feelings she thought had died long ago.

Trying to avoid paying property taxes, Fred registers to become a clergyman for the Divine Profit Church. He appoints Bubba as secretary and Woody as treasurer. However, when the Bishop stops by for a visit, Fred quickly realizes he's put his business in jeopardy thanks to some fine lines in the contact he signed.

Aunt Esther and Woody stop by for a visit and as usual, Fred insults Esther and she responds by promptly hitting Fred in the head with her purse. Apparently the blow to his head is so strong that it knocks him out and when he wakes up begins having memory lapses. This prompts him to make up his will and holds a will reading in the living room.

Fred wants a new stereo and tries to buy one on credit at a local electronics store. He soon discovers that they don't give credit to people over 60. This prompts him to take some action and befriends a rights group, The Gray Foxes and they begin picketing the store until they decide to change their policies.

In order to keep The Sanford Arms, Fred and Lamont must raise $4,000 in a week. They begin to scramble and Fred turns to gambling. First he puts together a card game and plays against a hustler and then he makes a little trip to the horse track and bets on the horses. Finally, a trip to a casino ends with unexpected results.

Fred is tired of everyone walking all over him especially since he proclaims that he built his junk empire to what it is today, thus making him a king of an empire. Bubba suggests that Fred pay money to an agency to have them trace his roots. A couple weeks later Fred is in for a shock, he is a descendant from Jewish African kings.

Lamont treats Fred to a dinner and a concert given by B.B. King. After the show, Fred wants to try to sell his songs to B.B., but fails, however, B.B. offers him a book about his life and why he sings the blues. This leads to an invitation for dinner at the Sanfords. While reading the book Fred panics when he reads the reason why B.B. sings the blues. He explains to Lamont that B.B. lost his girl in St. Louis to a guy who wanted to start a business in California. The girl's initials were EW (for Elizabeth Winfield).

Fred has been neglecting Donna and she decides to investigate and soon discovers Fred has been leading a secret life, not even telling Lamont what has been going on. Donna is convinced that he is seeing another woman but they soon discover Fred is really going to night school to earn his GED diploma, which he never got since he dropped out of high school to support his parents.