One Foot in the Grave - Episode Guide

Victor Meldrew is at last retiring from the rigors of his security guard job at Watson-Mycroft. Replaced by a talking machine, Victor soon discovers that retirement will give him just as many reasons to be grumpy.

As retirement throws more problems for Victor Meldrew's retirement, including a next-door neighbour's noisy party, a disturbing and puzzling rash and an atheist funeral, has Victor bitten the bullett?

After being mugged whilst photographing badgers, and having his house sprayed with the phrase 'The Man Who Lives Here Is A Turd', Victor decides to hold a crime prevention meeting.

After being stuck in the shed for over three hours, then forced to spend an entire day with his eyes closed after a visit to the optometrist, Victor cannot bear the trials of babysitting.

Although Margaret is glad that Victor finally has a hobby to occupy his time, she is less pleased to discover that it involves painting nudes.

Following a food poisoning incident, problems with the electricity man, the Meldrews embark on a well deserved holiday, however this is only the start of their problems?

The Meldrews return from a disastrous Greek holiday to discover that their home has burnt down. Six months and a pile of insurance headaches later, they are ensconced in their new home and decide to throw a house-warming party. What could possibly go wrong? 

Victor and Margaret agree to look after Kylie the tortoise whilst Margaret's god daughter Jennifer goes on holiday. 

Margaret joins the local amateur dramatic society and takes Victor to a Bergerac party. Meanwhile, Margaret's mother manages to get stuck in the bath with wallpaper paste. 

Unexpected visitors drop in and mistakenly suspect Victor of killing an elderly blind man. A concert gives Victor the chance to use his ventriloquist's dummy. 

Victor and Margaret head off for a weekend at the seaside. Victor is presented with a most unusual and unwelcome gift. 

Victor is unable to sleep, and things get so desperate that he contemplates opening Ronnie and Mildred's Christmas present from last year. 

A mistake on a catalogue order form results in 263 garden gnomes being delivered to the Meldrews' house.

The Meldrews meet Pippa's father, Reverend Croker, a vicar who thinks he has lost his faith and Victor learns more about Mrs Burridge, a video-store worker with whom he had a conflict.

Seven months after Patrick gunned down his garden gnomes in cold blood, Victor still has a score to settle with his next-door neighbour. Meanwhile, down on his allotment all is not what it would appear with a pile of horse manure bought from a dodgy character.

Victor returns from the supermarket to find the house has been burgled.

Margaret goes missing after suffering a nightmare. Victor has an interesting encounter with a chimpanzee at the local fete. 

Victor's brother, Alfred, pays a visit from New Zealand. Pippa and Patrick ask the Meldrews to take care of their plants while they're away on holiday. 

Victor and Margaret go on a trip to Whipsnade Zoo, but their outing turns into a nightmare when they unexpectedly become imprisoned like the animals. 

Victor and Margaret battle to rid their home of an evil curse. Victor's neighbours put their house up for sale - but there are very few takers. Victor becomes convinced that a TV aerial is laughing at him. 

Victor celebrates his return to work but is not pleased that his first day on the job involves a nasty case of vermin control. His bad luck continues that night, when Victor and Margaret visit the BBC with a virtually unconscious window cleaner they believe to be Mrs Warboy's cousin. 

Patrick's cherry tree launches an attack on Victor's junipers, which prompts Victor to seek professional help. Victor's interest in tropical fish arouses the interest of the local Greenpeace branch. 

Roger, Victor's cousin, accidentally invites the couple to his 60th birthday. Margaret collapses with exhaustion and Victor's attempts at nursing her back to health only make things worse. But Margaret's spirits pick up when Andrea Temple, the little girl who used to live next door, comes back to visit her old neighbours with her new baby. Victor is less enthusiastic. 

A day out on the river leads to epic complications for the Meldrews, Mrs Warboys and Nick Swainey when they find themselves marooned in the middle of Norfolk's answer to the Sargasso Sea. 

The Meldrews are back from holiday and find that Patrick and Pippa are trying to sell up to a man who's very interested in diving goggles. Margaret can take no more of their erratic existence and decides to embark on a reckless adventure that could change both her own and Victor's life for ever. 

Victor is summoned for jury service and ends up as the man on trial.

A meeting of Victor's conjuring group ends in chaos when one of the tricks goes horribly wrong.

The Meldrews go on holiday to Portugal with Mrs Warboys, who is hoping for romance with her penpal Alfonso. Photographer Martin Trout follows them there, believing they have a roll of film that belongs to him.

Victor is dogged by some practical jokers, and then joyriders steal his car. An old friend, Mr Foskett, comes to visit the Meldrews and his unconventional behaviour causes problems for Patrick.

Mrs Warboys moves in with the Meldrews after rain floods her basement home. Victor ponders on the mysteries of life after watching a murder drama on TV. 

A new home security system threatens Victor's chances of sneaking off to the European Cup quarter-final, and a widow from the local greengrocers has designs on Victor that are more animal than vegetable. 

Victor and Margaret visit a solicitor to sort out some legal matters. But their eventful wait then brings more misery. 

Margaret comes into some money, and Victor helps a young Dutch girl to get back on her feet. To add to the usual mayhem, the builders arrive to embark on a loft conversion. 

Margaret tries to organise an unlikely love affair after Victor takes to the road, and a disaster of truly biblical proportions descends when the Meldrews are invited to Ronnie and Mildred's for the evening. In addition, a visit to the dentist goes horribly wrong. 

The Meldrews have a tarot reading that prophesies disaster for Victor. Patrick and Pippa sell their home, but a house clearance crew are mistaken for their removal men. Patrick and Victor get snowed in at an old house with a jealous boyfriend and a huge spider.

A tramp takes up residence in the Meldrews' garden shed. Patrick is shocked when his new boss announces that she has recently hired Victor as her gardener. Nick Swainey's mother claims she's being abducted by aliens every night. 

Victor accidentally kidnaps a businessman's mother. There is a mix-up over a holiday cottage, Victor buys a haunted caravan, and Margaret has a heart attack.

An artistic dispute with the Meldrews threatens to scupper Patrick's plans for a quiet birthday. Meanwhile, Pippa has an affair and Victor gets some worrying medical test results. 

Victor is alarmed when a routine medical test turns out to have sinister implications. He also has problems with the builders and Cousin Wilf's voice synthesiser. 

Victor begins to regret hiring a cleaner to help around the house. Meanwhile, Mrs Warboys gets the wrong end of the stick when Victor helps the owner of a chip shop. 

Plunged into darkness after a power cut on a sweltering summer night, Victor and Margaret reflect on their lives, hopes and fears.

Victor's hobby of fishing leads to an encounter with humanity at its most primitive. Patrick's gay brother, Nigel, comes to visit and Victor is asked to give a speech to the WI. 

After Victor dies in a road accident, Margaret faces up to life without him and vows to take revenge on the hit-and-run driver who killed him.