At the bank, Poe goes about his work and calls for the Baudelaire file to be brought in.
Lemony reviews the history of the Baudelaires, inside Poe's office and presents it as a flashback just before the file.
Olaf and his troupe arrive outside the bank, and Olaf realizes that no one brought the costumes. He tells the troupe to stay in the car, burrows pieces of apparel from the various pedestrians, and goes inside where the secretary Jacquelyn is on the phone saying that she'll keep an eye on things. Olaf says that he has an appointment and claims that his name is "Haircut" when he sees it in Poe's appointment book. Poe calls to have Jacquelyn bring in the Baudelaire file. Olaf grabs it and finally pulls it out of Jacquelyn's hand, and takes it to Poe's office. He says that he is there to consult about the Baudelaire will, and notices Jacquelyn watching him. Olaf has no choice but to continue saying that his name is Haircut, and Poe tells Jacquelyn to cancel his appointment to get a haircut. She goes outside and trains a telescope on Olaf's car, and the Bald Man says that he wants to make a withdrawal.
Inside, Poe says that the Baudelaires' closest relative is a renowned scientist. Olaf says that he's a consultant and "closest" means who ever lives nearest. He has a map of the city and says that Olaf is the closest to the orphans. Poe calls Jacquelyn to bring in a ruler but gets no answer. He goes to get it himself, unaware that the Bald Man has tied Jacquelyn to a tree in a remote park.
Now, Olaf watches as Violet and Klaus chop firewood. Klaus wants to leave, but Violet figures that they're better off than on the streets. Meanwhile, the Bald Man tells Olaf that he has bad news about Jacquelyn, and they go inside to discuss it.
Later, Violet and Klaus visit Poe, who says that he has to deal with an emergency since Jacquelyn has disappeared without warning. As they tell Poe that Olaf struck Klaus across the face, Poe takes call after call. He figures that the children are just imagining things, and warns that Olaf can raise them anyway he wants since he is their legal guardian. Poe says that his new secretary will give them a ride home, and the Hook-Handed Man comes in.
The Hook-Handed Man takes the children back to the manor. Olaf offers them raspberry cupcakes and says that Poe called him, and Olaf wants the children to feel more at home. He apologizes for being standoffish.
Jacquelyn pulls the tree out of the ground, makes her way to a phone booth, and calls her associate Gustav.
Olaf wants the children to participate in his next play, "The Marvelous Marriage." They will give one performance that coming Friday night, and Violet will play the woman he marries. Violet warns that she might disgrace the part and will be busy working on inventions, and Olaf insists that she participate. He then tells them to talk to Strauss while he eats cupcakes.
The children go next door to Strauss' house and find the justice in her library to get books about the theater and local ordinances. Strauss takes Sunny to the garden while Violet and Klaus read. When the justice notices the bruise on Klaus' face, he says that they're trying to find out and Strauss leave.
Olaf is watching the children through a telescope when the White Faced Women show him a sketch they've made of a wedding dress for the play. The Bald Man interrupts to try out the wedding song, and the Henchman of Indeterminate Gender comes in next to complain about the inherent patriarchal structure of marriage. Olaf is just able to make out that Klaus is reading a book on nuptial law. The Count looks up what "nuptial" means and quickly leaves.
When Straus comes back, Klaus points out that marriage occurs when both parties acquiesce and the bride signs the proper document. Olaf comes in and says that Straus will have a walk-in role in his play. Strauss is eager to be an actress, and Olaf explains that she will play a judge, he will play the groom, and Violet will play the bride. They will then sign an official document "for realism." Violet and Klaus try to warn Strauss, but she insists that Olaf is welcoming them into his life. She tells them to go home and spend time with their new father, but Klaus takes the book with him as he goes.
Back at the manor, Olaf tells the Hook Handed Man to lock up the children in their room until Friday. Once he does so, Klaus says that he's going to stay all up with the book. He finally finds out what he needs to know and goes downstairs. Olaf is at the dinner table, and Klaus says that he knows what Olaf is up to. Olaf is going to marry Violet literally and gain control of the Baudelaire fortune. However, Klaus points out that Violet isn't old enough to be married. Olaf points out that Violet can get married if she has the permission of her legal guardian, and she does. Klaus says that he'll go to Poe and leaves.
As Klaus goes up the stairs and meets Violet coming down, Olaf tells his troupe that Klaus has figured out their plan. The children go to get Sunny only to discover that the baby is gone. Olaf comes up and says that he can hear Sunny outside. They run out and eventually see Sunny in a cage fastened to the highest tower. Olaf threatens to drop her unless Violet marries him, and Violet agrees. The Count says that he'll let Sunny go until after the play.
Jacquelyn makes her way through the sewers, still tied to the tree. Gustav arrives and says that he and Monty were expecting the Baudelaire children days ago. Jacquelyn explains that Poe listened to Olaf posing as a consultant. She says that if they attend the play then they can get things back on track without calling attention to themselves, and Gustav agrees.
In the bedroom, Violet dismantles their bed as part of her new invention. She assures Klaus that he helped but didn't finish the job, and explains that their parents made her promise to look after her siblings and keep them out of trouble. Violet then goes to the kitchen and gets various utensils, then takes them to the bathroom and assembles them into her newest invention.
Olaf is trying on the wedding dress when he hears a clanking noise from the upper floor. He ignores it... unaware that Violet is trying to snag Sunny's cage support with her makeshift grappling hook. Once she does, she activates the device on her back, and it pulls her up by the line. However, the Hook Handed Man is waiting and drags her in. He then calls Olaf and tells him that Violet tried to rescue Sunny. Olaf brings Klaus up and warns that he'll touch anything he wants. After locking them up in the tower room, Olaf leaves. Violet tells Klaus what she attempted and suggests that he research a way to get them out of the marriage while she makes something to let them escape.
Lemony is in his apartment and looks at a blurry photo of Beatrice. He laments not being able to help the Baudelaires and looks at the theater across the street.
Violet suggests that they make Molotov cocktails to get attention, but they have no gasoline. Olaf arrives and says that the Hook-Handed Man will drop Sunny if anything goes wrong with the performance.
At the theater, Eleanora interviews Olaf and asks about the rumors that the play is an evil plan. Olaf assures her that the only evil plot will be on the stage and goes about his business. Olaf has Strauss sit next to Violet and Klaus and insists that she use the actual wording of a marriage ceremony. When the children try to warn her, Olaf quickly moves her away and the play begins as Olaf comes out to give his first soliloquy.
The Hook-Handed Man tries to teach Sunny how to play poker. Sunny deals and soon wins her freedom, tying up the Hook-Handed Man with each hand that he loses. The baby continues wedding.
Olaf continues performing as the Handsome Man. The wedding scene finally begins and Strauss, Violet, and Klaus go out. Strauss freezes up at first but finally gets going. Olaf signs the paperwork and says "I do," and Strauss asks Violet if she does the same. Violet signs the paperwork and says "I do," and Strauss declares them husband and wife. Olaf then ends the play and says that there's no reason to continue, because its purpose has been served. He explains his entire plan and how he controls the Baudelaire fortune. Strauss admits that the marriage is binding, and admits that there is nothing that Poe can do. Olaf orders the reception to begin and waiters serve food.
Klaus tells Olaf to let Sunny go, and Olaf tells the Hook-Handed Man to drop Sunny. However, the Hook-Handed Man arrives carting Sunny in a wheelbarrow. He explains that he lost to a straight flush and had to bring Sunny there. Unimpressed, Olaf says that he'll dispose of the baby on the honeymoon and invites Violet to dance. She says that she didn't sign the document in her own hand because she's right-handed and signed the document with her left hand. Strauss considers the matter and then says that she doesn't know. Klaus calls for a chalkboard and explains the legal argument in great detail. Strauss is convinced and declares that there was no marriage.
When Olaf warns Violet that she is still his daughter, Poe says that he won't let Olaf continue as the Baudelaires' legal guardian. Jacquelyn is in the audience and explains that Olaf's associates kidnapped her and tied to a tree, and Monty is waiting to hear from the children. Poe rehires her and declares an end to the series of unfortunate events. The Bald Man turns off the lights and Olaf escapes in the darkness after whispering to Violet that he will get their fortune. Strauss invites the children to come home with her, but Poe says that they have to be raised by a relative. Jacquelyn agrees, saying that the Baudelaire parents have a specific destination for their children. Strauss hugs the children and says that she will miss them, and Poe leads the Baudelaires away.
Olaf and his troupe escape through the sewers.
Lemony leaves his apartment through the window as the landlord knocks at the door.
Jacquelyn calls Gustav to confirm if the Baudelaires have arrived at Monty's. As Gustav responds to say they're not there yet, he takes a dart to the neck. Meanwhile, Jacquelyn says that she has a lead on the Baudelaire parents... unaware that Gustav has collapsed.
In her library, Strauss considers a book on adoption law. She puts it back on the shelf and notices a nearby book on secret organizations.
As Poe drives the Baudelaire children to Monty's, they wonder if they're going in the wrong direction.
In a jail cell, Mother and Father read the newspaper and figure that their children are in deeper danger with every passing moment. Mother builds a grappling hook and a Molotov cocktail, and Father reveals an eye pattern that he has carved into the floor.
Written by Gadfly on Jan 28, 2017