Season 5 - Episode Guide

After talking Luanne into voting for the first time, Hank goes ballistic when he discovers that Luanne is going to vote for a man running for president on the communist party because she likes the way he dresses. Hank then meets governor Bush and has a crisis of his own.

Bobby becomes infatuated with Bucks lifestyle and becomes buddies with him. Buck then takes Bobby on a gambling spree and Hank has to track them down. Meanwhile, Peggy and Mihn become involved in a competition to see who can donate the most blood.

After spending time at his grandparents house, Bobby becomes more aware of being treated like a kid. Bobby then becomes more envious of Joseph who has just hit puberty and is physically changing. Meanwhile, Hanks latest garage project is to build coffins for him and Peggy.

John Redcorn tries to get closer to Joseph and Bobby ends up getting wrong ideas and decides Thanksgiving is wrong.

Peggy gets her big break when she is assigned to teach geometry at the high school. But she gets in trouble with everyone from her fellow teachers to the local Booster Club when she flunks Arlen High's star football player, David Kalaiki-Alii, the Flyin' Hawaiian.

Cotton and his war buddies loose their place and Cotton ends up taking a job at a swank restaurant.

Bobby becomes the new team mascot which makes Hank happy, but when it becomes time for the mascot to take a beating from the rival team, Bobby turns and runs breaking a long tradition.

Bill battling holiday depression and lonelier than normal starts responding to letters addressed to Santa that end up at the Post Offices dead letter box. He then starts buying expensive gifts for random children and things go downhill from there.

Hank starts getting more and more upset and it ends up with his mechanic giving his truck only 100 more miles to be driveable.

When Hank tries to get a specialty Texas Native license plate for his truck, he discovers that his mother gave birth to him at Yankee Stadium in New York while Cotton was obsessed with a attempt to kill Fidel Castro.

The guys are out celebrating Bill's birthday and while in a elevator they talk Hank into mooning people. However, Hank ends up mooning the ex-governor of Texas and Bill steps in and protects him. Peggy discovers cooking with Charcoal when they run out of propane while Hank is gone.

Bobby encounters a famous ventriloquist at a nursing home and after being given a dummy, first suffers Hank's frustration then frustration with his dad when Hank takes a obsessive shine to the dummy, who turns out to be a big sports fan. Dale becomes obsessed with flashbacks from his childhood and goes on a vendetta.

Peggy and Hank unknowingly take in a prostitute, Hank then tangles with her former pimp, Alabaster Jones.

Dale gets a new job when he reaches the point where he can not handle the toxins he is using anymore and gets a job with a local company where he quickly moves up the corporate ladder and is given the job of firing employees.

Luanne goes through a church ritual that makes her a virgin again and Hank finds out he was not the first guy Peggy was with.

Hank and Peggy find out that Bobby is allergic to dogs and then Bobby milks it for all it is worth.

Bobby takes up a new interest in environmental issues, provoked by a new teacher. When the cause rallies to drain the quarry, and rid it of all waste, Hank is dead set against it. Years earlier, while in high school, the gang wrecked Boomhauers car, and pushed it into the quarry, pleading ignorance. Bobby finds out, and lets Boomhauer in on the secret, just before they pull out 'Ol Betsy', to his horror.

When the station replaces Nancy with Luanne because she is younger, Nancy decides to get a facelift. Meanwhile, Dale comes up with a plan to get a large sum from the company that makes his cigarettes.

After Hank enters a lawnmower race, he starts having problems with his back. A trip to the doctor reveals that he needs what amounts to a butt support and the guys razz him.

Bobby fakes a kidney problem to be cool with the high school kids then drags Connie into his fantasy story.