"The Saphrax Protocol" – The Venture Bros. S07E10 Review

Okay, "The Saphrax Protocol" was... weird. And weird even by The Venture Bros. standards. Let me describe and see if you follow it.

A Guild Blackout team teleports into VenTech Tower and abducts Rusty. That part of their plan goes okay. However, Brock finds out they're there and goes all... well, Brock on their asses. He admits he's a bit bored, gets on the loudspeaker and makes a dramatic speech, keeps sending dead Blackout operatives to the Guild via teleporter with a note complaining they keep taking their cyanide capsules before he can kill them, and eventually suggests he and the last couple of survivors take a potty break. You know, the usual.

On the Guild satellite, the Guild prepares to "Ten" Monarch (i.e., make him a Level Ten Villain) by recreating the ritual of Saphrax, the first villain. This involves putting Monarch through one of the Guild's increasing pointless rituals, complete with a parody of Flash Gordon involving Monarch putting his hand into the beast's log. The beast doesn't bite, but it's lived there a long time and accumulated a lot of poop.

Meanwhile, Hank is in ICU for some reason. I guess because he nearly froze to death last week. Dean spends a lot of time reading off a list of the 124 reasons he's a bad brother. Meanwhile, Hatred tries to talk his way in past Night Nurse Cindy Marie Abrams (Cristin Milioti) without luck. Cindy eventually asks Dean to send Hatred home.

Guild operatives Watch and Ward check Rusty's blood and discover he's related to Monarch.

The Guild proclaims Henchman 21 a full-fledged villain, and present Rusty to Monarch to kill him and pass his last trial. Monarch refuses to put an end to his arch-enemy and lose his best friend, 21. 21 refuses promotion, and the Guild reveals that was the last test. They passed and are now both Level 10. Watch and Ward come in, and reveal Rusty is Monarch's relative.

Hank goes through a purgatory based on The Empire Strikes Back. Action Man is there since he went into a coma a while back (or so they say). He's dressed as a Wookie, even though he thinks that he's in a Barbarella purgatory. They get captured by a wampa, but Phineas Phage (Guild villain, caught in a transporter accident) rescues them and takes them to the Magmos from Barbarella. Hank believes diving into it will make him a man and does so.

In the end, Cindy tells Dean Hank is gone... as in, wandered off. They do a Darkman/Batman rift where Hank wanders off into the crowd wearing a Halloween Batman mask and vowing to find himself now that he's an adult.

"Saphrax" feels like they skipped an episode. Yes, Hank was in bad shape last week. But the jump to the hospital ICU (and Hank's coma purgatory) are really abrupt. The Guild is back to full strength and yes, the Peril Partnership subplot was kinda of resolved last week. But there's no mention of it here.

Brock seems to get a "Swedish murder machine" fight sequence just because he's been either AWOL or pretty subdued the whole season. Sirena, Billy Quizboy, and Pete White don't show up. Monarch finally make it to Level Ten Guild Villain, but there seems to be no reason for it. We get a lot of Hatred trying to seduce Cindy, but it just goes on and on.

The Guild ceremony with the Saphrax Protocol is mildly entertaining, just because the Guild rituals and bureaucracy are always mildly entertaining. They parody all the comic book tropes and sometimes admit they're doing tropes, or they know the tropes but wonder why anyone would ever carry them out. Like with the beast/log sequence, when everyone is shocked Monarch would think they keep a dangerous beast around the satellite in a log.

We really didn't get any resolution to anything, other than the "big reveal" Rusty and Monarch are related. Which we the audience have known for a long time. And the family resemblance has been there since Day 1.

There's a "The Venture Bros. Will Return" at the end. And I won't regret if it comes back. There's always humor to be found in the Guild antics. And Billy Quizboy. And the Monarch and 21 and their endless cultural riffing. And Clancy Brown as Red Death. But Season 7 seemed on the weak side. The Hank and Dean stuff never went anywhere.

I read one review where the writer said it was all deep and insightful and explored the nature of villainy and identity. And it did. But it was all so bland and on-the-nose, and required some out-of-left-field developments (Hank in a coma? Action Man in a coma? Monarch is suddenly qualified to be Level 10?) that the developments we got seemed really, really obvious. Did anyone think that Monarch was going to kill Rusty? That 21 was going to abandon Monarch? That Hank was going to die?

Overall, Season 7 has felt like a holding pattern for the show. The Guild got more attention, but characters like Billy Quizboy and Brown Spider and Victor Von Helping and Dermot just wandered in and out. I don't know if it was because season six got cut off prematurely so the creative team spent the first three episodes wrapping that up with "The Morphic Trilogy". But everything after that seemed like an afterthought. Like they wanted to do the big Rusty/Monarch reveal for the end of the season, but weren't sure how to fill up episodes 4-9. There were hilarious parts, sure: McCulloch and Hammer are too twisted and steeped in comic book tropes to fail in producing comedy, and the Guild has developed into a rich target.

But they never seemed to stick with one theme. Hank and Dean disappeared for long stretches, meaning that the revelations about them at the end didn't have much impact. The focus was primarily on Monarch's re-rise to master of villainy, and both he and Rusty becoming less than total failures. But that wasn't enough to fill six episodes after the Morphic Trilogy and left the whole thing feeling a little hollow.

That brings an end to a full season of The Venture Bros. And it will return... sometime. Doctor Who moves back to Saturdays, and Supergirl starts next Sunday. I'm still not sure if I'm going to review that. I prefer my SJW light, not slathered on toast and forced down my throat.

But hey, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. See you later.