​ "Sojourn" – American Horror Story S08E08 Review

What was that? This is not a chawade. We need total concentwation.

Really, what the heck was "Sojourn"? I understand what some of it was about, conceptually. It's about the rise of Michael as the Antichrist. It starts with a Satanic version of Christ's temptation. And it explains how Miriam came to be an android, and if androids exist in whatever year it is.

But why do Evan Peters and Billy Eichner have to wear funny wigs. And why do we have to have countless statements Satanism is just another ho-hum religion. And why do we have to have weird performances from Sandra Bernhard and Harriet Sansom Harris. For those, I don’t have the faintest idea.

What am I talking about? Glad you asked. We start with Michael discovering Miriam is dead, burned at the stake. Cordelia pops up and invites him to walk with her and change his destiny. He refuses, walks away, draws a circle in the dirt of a forest, and tells Satan he isn't going any further until Satan explains his plan. Satan isn't forthcoming. Although a couple of angelic kids, an angel, and a goat all appear to Michael in what, I think, is a take on Satan's temptation of Christ, except it's God's minions tempting Michael to turn from his path.

Michael doesn't waver and wanders into the city. He finds his way to a Satanic church where Sandra Bernhard is the ringmaster. Or high priest. Or game show host. Or something. It's hard to tell because she acts mostly like... Sandra Bernhard. Her character, Hannah, is bored, and disgusted, and always declaiming to the back row. I'm not sure if it's supposed to be a commentary on modern-day priests and ministers, or someone thought it would be cool to get Ms. Bernhardt and just told her to be herself, or what.

An older woman named Madelyn takes Michael back to her place, and explains the virtues of the Satanic lifestyle. In return for her soul she has a La-Z-Boy, all the heroin she wants with none of the downside, and Brad Pitt and Ryan Reynolds come by regularly and have sex with her. I'm not sure if we're supposed to think she's deluded, or serious, or what.

Michael flashes his mark of the Beast at her, And you wonder why the witches didn't use it to determine he was the Antichrist. The Mark convinces Madelyn Michael is the Antichrist, and she takes him to the church. Everyone is duly impressed and Hannah lets Michael kill their human sacrifices. Afterward it's the church's potluck, and again I think this is supposed to be a parody of modern church practices. Although why it's necessary to parody Christian/Catholic church potlucks, I don't know.

After he tells Madelyn he wants Miriam back more than anything, she drives him to a robotics company. For some reason the two head programmers Mutt and Jeff are played by a bewigged Billy Eichner and Evan Peers, respectively. They're cokeheads that are basically Bill & Ted's Excellent Programmers, and have Wilhelmina (Sarah Paulson) as their receptionist. They're also Satan worshippers, and after demonstrating his power by combusting a call girl, they're eager to make Michael an android duplicate of Miriam. And... that's it.

I read elsewhere American Horror Story does at least one really weird episode a season, and "Sojourn" was it. If so, I don't remember past "weird" episodes. If any of them were as weird as "Sojourn", you'd think I'd remember. Then again, maybe I'll forget "Sojourn" in a year.

I can't say I want to forget "Sojourn". And credit where credit was due: it's certainly a memorable episode. If I'm going to remember, it isn't another episode of the Coven burning Michael's missions. It'll be Sandra Bernhard as weird combination of pastor and game-show host, chastising a church full of Satan worshippers for not being evil enough.

And the image of Peters' and Eischer's wigs will be burned into my mind for a long long time. If they autopsy my body after I'm dead, there'll probably be a picture like this one branded on my cerebellum.

Also, did most of the American networks miss a memo? This week's The Flash was a light frothy piece with some social commentary on fake news tossed in. American Horror Story has two coke-heads in bad wigs. The next Flash is a creepy stalker movie. The next American Horror Story is an Omen-like tale of horror and death. Shouldn't those have been this week around Halloween?

As for "Apocalypse", we have two more episodes left to wrap everything up. And… there's no indication the end is in sight. We're still stuck in flashback mode, and it's not really telling us anything. Yes, they explained why there's an android Miriam running around. And her connection to Michael. But ... it doesn't seem to have any impact on the plot. We haven't seen enough of Michael and Miriam pre-Miriam-incineration to get the feeling he was so attached to her he had to have her back as an android. In fact, Michael seems more concerned about then the Apocalypse thing.

So we're still waiting for him to get on-board with the whole End of Days scenario. But there's only two more episodes left: unless they're going to have extra-long episodes or cram a lot of exposition down our ears, it doesn't seem like they have time to resolve this. We still have Brock (also Billy Eichner) running around Outpost 3. And Timothy and Emily with their genetic gift packages. And the Cooperative, although it looks like they'll at least get a namecheck next week judging by the previews.

Overall, "Sojourn" was a weird misstep in a season full of them. We've gone from "Apocalypse" to "Coven Season 3B" to "Murder House: Cleaning Up Loose Ends" to "The Antichrist: The Early Days Prequel". We know how it ends: the Apocalypse comes and Michael wins. I want the season to end, not because it's a horrible season, but just because all the creative team is doing now is rehashing the past.

But that's just my opinion, I could be wrong. What do you think?