The Ringer

Hello folks, this is Deepthroat Ghoul, and I thought that I needed to do some episode discussions, and what better way to do it than discuss the first episode of the cartoon show based on The Legend of Zelda, "The Ringer" (written by Bob Forward, who wrote a ton of stuff in the 1980's, 1990's, and 2000's).

First off, we get the intro where Princess Zelda tells Link and the audience about the Triforce of Wisdom, as well as the Triforce of Power, which is owned by Link's arch-enemy, Ganon. Soon, Link is fighting Ganon's foot-soldiers, the Moblins, then jumps in the water with Zelda, who then tells off Link with "Nice job, hero!" Link then pulls off his witty comeback, "Hey, excuuuuuuse me, Princess!"

On a side note, the Zelda cartoon was released around the time of the first two Zelda games on the Nintendo Entertainment System, and before the third Zelda game on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. But enough about that, let's move on...

The episode begins, as morning dawns in Hyrule, as we find out that Link, who is now pompous (like Wheeler from Captain Planet & the Planeteers), lives in North Castle, as opposed to being a villager in the Zelda games. Link explains that he used to roam the land of Hyrule, battling monsters, until he was stuck with the boring job of guarding the Triforce of Wisdom. But, on the other hand, one good reason that Link should do this job is because for the beautiful Princess Zelda, who just so happens to come out of her bedroom in a pink nightie, just to get a wolf whistle from Link. Immediately, Spryte, Link's trusty fairy sidekick, tells Zelda to put on a robe.

Suddenly, Link is attacked by Moblins. Luckily, he manages to fight off them with his trusty sword that shoots lasers (just like in the first Zelda game on the NES). During the battle, all you Zelda fans out there will be happy to know that this cartoon actually uses the music from the Zelda games. After all is said and done, Link kills the Moblins, picks a Bone Bow, then hears Zelda's voice behind his door. Link then opens the door, and, expecting a kiss from Zelda, prepares to pucker up, only to get a slap from the feisty Princess. You see, Cartoon Link is the complete opposite of what you'd expect a hero to be. Long story short, Link says "Excuse me, Princess!", Zelda needs to attend a magic contest, and assigns Link to guard the Triforce of Wisdom for the rest of the day.

Meanwhile, we cut to Ganon's underground lair, where the almighty and powerful Ganon is chewing out those Moblins that Link killed earlier. You see, anything that Link kills goes straight into this huge jar which Ganon owns. Also, just like in the games, Ganon can teleport all over the place, and it seems that the Triforce of Power can talk. And so, Ganon magics up robes for himself and four Stalfos as disguises to go to North Castle.

Through a Triforce transition, we see that magic contest that's being held in Hyrule, as Ganon impresses Zelda by conjuring up a bird, then sneakily turns it into a bat to see if anyone's guarding the Triforce of Wisdom. Meanwhile, up in his bedroom, Link talks to Spryte about how he can get Zelda to notice her. We quickly find out that Spryte is secretly in love with Link. Back at the magic contest, Ganon turns his bat into a gigantic dragon, ready to fry Zelda extra crispy.

One quick ad break later, and Link races to the rescue, carrying his trusty sword and shield. Zelda throws a steel plate, and Link shoots three sword lasers, which bounce off the plate and kill the dragon. Zelda again tells Link off for leaving the Triforce unattended, and Link says "Excuse me, Princess!" for the second time in the series (the intro would count, but only in this episode, so that makes it about three times "Excuse me, Princess!" has ever been said by Link). Suddenly, Spryte screams for help, as Ganon prepares to steal the Triforce of Wisdom, which can also talk. Ganon quickly snatches the Triforce and escapes into the forest. Link and Zelda follow by using a tree as a catapult.

Once in the forest, Link once again tries to put the moves on Zelda, only to find Ganon and his Stalfos. Link quickly shoots one Stalfo, then hands Zelda the Bone Bow he got earlier, as more Stalfos show up via Ganon's secret underground passage. Now, this is where Zelda fights, with a bow and arrows. Link ties himself and Zelda back-to-back with his belt, as they shoot numerous Stalfos. As you can see, Link hasn't been hit, because in Zelda 1 on the NES, when you get hit once, you lose the ability to shoot lasers from your sword. What's a little funny in this scene is Ganon teaching a Stalfo how to punch, much like with Bud Kirkland and his dad in Police Academy 3: Back in Training. Soon, one last remaining Stalfo throws a bomb, which Link bats with his sword straight at Ganon, killing him in the explosion.

Once the Triforce of Wisdom is reclaimed, Zelda demands that Link get this belt. Link agrees, but only if Zelda gives him a kiss first. Zelda caves, then the two prepare to kiss, only for Spryte to magically remove the belt. Wah wah wah, Link was THAT close! And finally, we find out that Ganon died and has to share the jar with all his dead minions, as we fade to black.

So there you have it, the first episode of Zelda. I might do discussions for the next three episodes, so hang loose, folks; it's gonna be crazy!