Parker addresses the crew and discovers that they've put up a sign to congratulate him on his promotion lieutenant, once the promotion list comes out. Fuji brings in a cake and Parker messes up putting his proper rank on it. McHale comes in with the list and tells them that Binghamton refused to promote Parker. He tells Parker not to let it get him down, and Parker insists that it won't change him.
Later, Parker is sitting around depressed. The crew try to cheer up without success, and Christy shows him an article that says that the new head of the Naval Affairs Committee is Senator Joseph Parker. Parker's uncle. Parker says that it isn't his Uncle Joe, just a Gruber calls the others over to show them a punching dummy he and Fuji made to look like Binghamton. They intend to let Parker punch it to cheer himself up, and Parker mistakes it for the real Binghamton at first. Gruber shows him how it works, and Parker soon starts punching.
Parker goes to get his boxing gloves, and Binghamton arrive by skiff. They hide the dummy while McHale comes out to greet Binghamton. He says that he's there for a surprise inspection, just as Parker runs out with his boxing gloves. Parker runs over and immediately punches Binghamton, assuming he's the dummy. He quickly realizes that it's the real Binghamton, and McHale says that Parker is upset about his promotion. Parker steps on Binghamton's glasses and Binghamton says that he's taking the ensign in.
Later, McHale confronts the crew and chews them out. He goes over to try and talk Binghamton to let Parker out of the brig. Gruber gets an idea and suggests that they fake a letter from Senator Parker to his "nephew." Binghamton will see it first, assume that Parker is Joseph's nephew, and let him out.
Later, the crew stage a conversation out of Binghamton's office. Gruber loudly insists that Binghamton is never to find out that Parker is Joseph's nephew. Carpenter overhears them as intended and goes out to demand what is going on. Gruber insists that Joseph is a plumber, but Carpenter finally gets the letter and goes to show Binghamton.
McHale tells Parker that he tried everything and Binghamton won't call off the court-martial. Binghamton comes in and has Parker out, calling him "Chuckie" and gives him his lieutenant's bars. He dismisses his court-martial threats as hazing, and gives Parker Joseph's letter. Once Binghamton leaves, the crew congratulates Parker and McHale reads the letter. He realizes that his crew forged it and explains what happened to Parker. The crew point out that Binghamton will never find out, just as Binghamton comes over and says that Joseph is making a tour of South Pacific bases and is coming there to refuel. He plans to be at the airstrip with Parker to greet Joseph.
Back at the crew hut, Gruber blames himself for forging the letter. McHale gets an idea and says that Binghamton won't be able to see through anything, and calls everyone around.
Later, McHale and Parker go to the airstrip. McHale suggests that they all go down on the 73 and Binghamton agrees. Parker offers to fix Binghamton's hat and takes his glasses, and McHale puts them under Binghamton's foot so that he breaks them. Binghamton laughs off Parker's mistake and walks out, stumbling into the walls and doors.
McHale leads Binghamton onto the PT-73 to the crew's island, and tell Binghamton it's the airstrip. Fuji has rigged up a rack with shoes to simulate the marching color guard, and the crew march up. Binghamton "inspects" them and they move ahead of him to make it seem like there's more men then there really are. Fuji fakes a plane landing and the crew get out a severed plane wing and a fan. He then plays marching music and Binghamton wonders where Carpenter is. They hastily tell him that Carpenter is with the refueling crew at the other end of the airstrip.
Gruber comes out in a white suit and hat, posing as Southern Senator Joseph. He talks to Parker, ignoring Binghamton's extended hand. McHale brings Binghamton over and Binghamton says that he pushed Parker to become lieutenant. Gruber insists that the band play Dixie, and the crew finds the appropriate record.
Carpenter meets with the real Senator at Binghamton's quarters, and wonders where his superior is. The Senator's pilot comes in and the Senator prepares to depart, and the pilot says that they need Binghamton's clearance to depart. The Senator plans to file a court-martial order at Comfleet and heads for his plane.
As Binghamton laughs at Gruber's jokes, they spot an unidentified airplane and Binghamton confirms that he didn't give any plane clearance to depart. Parker runs to the AA gun and shoots down the Senator's plane, and Binghamton pushes Gruber down. McHale has Willy radio Air Rescue to pick up the Senator and his crew, and Binghamton finds Gruber's monocle and puts it on so that he can see. He realizes that he isn't at the airstrip and Gruber isn't the Senator.
The Senator descends on a parachute and Binghamton realizes the whole thing is a hoax. They go over to the Senator, who figures that Binghamton is responsible for shooting down his plane. Willy comes over and says that the rescue team will be out as quick as they can say "Stonewall Jackson." The Senator confirms that Willy comes from his home state, and McHale says that Willy has nine brothers and sisters and they're all voting age. When Binghamton reminds the Senator he was talking about court-martial, the Senator says that he's going to give them a citation because they should have shot down his plane because it didn't have proper clearance. He leads Willy off to talk about his super-highway project.
Later, Parker is punching the Binghamton dummy again when Binghamton arrives. They all hide and Binghamton sees the dummy. He punches the dummy and it bounces back, knocking him down... and breaking his new glasses.
Written by Gadfly on Dec 20, 2016