As the rest of the crew prepares for a night out with the nurses, Virgil tries to convince Happy to go with them. Happy figures that he's not the type and wishes them luck. Once he leaves, McHale and Parker come in and McHale reminds Tinker that he's supposed to run the gig. Parker warns that it's against regulations for enlisted men to fraternize with nurses, and warns that Binghamton's new rule means the next man caught with a nurse goes to the brig. McHale wonders what they're waiting for and leaves with the others.
Later, the crew returns and finds Happy sleeping in his bunk. McHale realizes that someone stole his Betty Grable calendar but the crew denies taking it. Someone swiped all of their pin-ups, even Fuji's. Happy rolls over and they find the pin-ups beneath him on the mattress. As the crew watches, Happy sleepwalks out of the hutch. The others follow him, and he goes into Parker's hut and comes out with a pin-up. Parker runs out after Happy, and McHale remembers that it's dangerous to wake up a sleepwalker suddenly. The crew explains that Happy thinks that nurses don't like Happy because he's bald, and McHale figures that they have to build up his confidence and then get him a date so he doesn't take their pin-ups.
The next day, the crew "accidentally" mistakes Happy for Cary Grant in a movie magazine. He doesn't believe them, so they call over Parker. Parker claims that Happy looks like Cary Grant as well, but Happy figures that they're nuts and goes inside to catch a nap.
Binghamton arrives and shows him a scrap from a Hawaiian shirt. He figures the crew raided the nurses' quarters, but the Shore Patrol Sgt. Glynn with him, who saw the raid doesn't recognize any of them. An enemy plane in and everyone takes cover except Binghamton, who figures that McHale staged a phony air raid to get off the hook. It drops a bomb, convincing Binghamton, and he runs into the shelter with the others.
Happy is sleepwalking again and Tinker sees him. He tells the others and McHale runs over to get him while Parker tells Binghamton what's going on. McHale gets Happy into the shelter , and Binghamton orders Happy to have a Navy psychiatrist on Saturday check him out. Once Binghamton leaves, the crew figures that they have to get Happy a date with a woman to break him off his sleepwalking habit. The sergeant comes back in to get the evidence, and accidentally drops his hat... and his toupee. He grabs it and leaves, and McHale figures that they have half the problem solved.
Later, McHale and Parker meet with two of the nurses, Nancy Culpepper and Anne Wright. Nancy agrees that McHale's plan is sound, and Anne says that she'll do her best. When she hesitates, Nancy says that if Parker agrees to go with her as a double date, she'll accompany Ann. McHale convinces Parker to agree, and Nancy smiles fetchingly at Parker. Outside, Happy is waiting in the jeep and McHale introduces him to Ann. She whispers something to McHale, smiles, and looks over at Happy, who notices. Once Anne goes inside, McHale tells Happy that Anne said that he looks a little like Cary Grant. The captain says that he can go on a double date with Nancy and Parker, but Happy reminds McHale about his baldness. McHale tells him that the crew is working on it.
Willy and Virgil steal the sergeant's toupee. When the sergeant comes back from the shower, he discovers that his hairpiece is gone. He sees someone wearing a hairpiece in a window and grabs it, only to discover that it's Binghamton.
McHale puts the toupee on Happy and he admits that it makes a difference. Parker warns that Binghamton is coming, and Fuji heads for the hills. Binghamton has Carpenter put up an official notice that enlisted men in the nurses' quarters will be shot on sight. The crew objects and McHale orders them to attention... and Gruber quickly drops Happy's toupee to hide it. When Binghamton sees it, Gruber claims that it's a jungle chipmunk and whacks at it until it's "dead." Carpenter reminds Binghamton that the nurses are confined to quarters and can't come to the island. Once they're alone, McHale gets Virgil to reveal his number one rendezvous spot at the fire shack by the ammunition dump. The captain puts the battered toupee on Happy and says that they've got a plan.
Later, Tinker approaches the marine sergeant on duty and keeps him distracted. Meanwhile, Anne and Nancy sneak out of the nurses' quarters and McHale warns them that Happy is a shy one. Later, the two couples are dancing at the fire shack. Once they're done, Nancy tells Happy and Anne to sit down while she and Parker get some ice. They secretly watch from the storage room but Happy is still shy. Nancy tells Parker that they have to show Happy the way by necking. She insists that there's no emotion involved and kisses him, and then does so a lot more enthusiastically. Happy and Anne come in and leave them to it.
The sergeant tells Binghamton that two nurses are reported missing. Binghamton tells Carpenter to get a jeep and they'll search the island.
In the shack, Nancy is all over Parker, who tries to get away. When they back out into the main room, they find Happy and Anne kissing. Anne knocks off Happy's toupee but assures him that he's not repulsive like he thinks and it doesn't make any difference. Nancy figures that their work is done and goes back to trying to kiss Parker.
The 73 comes around to pick up the couples. McHale spots Binghamton and Carpenter coming, and Virgil says that Binghamton will blow is top and the ammo dump with it. Realizing that it's their only chance, McHale has Willy break out the smoke grenades while the others man the 50s.
As Parker tries to get out of the shack, he sees Binghamton and Carpenter coming. They grab the champagne and go into the storage room. When Binghamton and Carpenter come in, Carpenter sees the discarded toupee and figures that it's another jungle chipmunk. He beats it with a broom until Binghamton realizes what it is. Meanwhile, McHale drops a smoke grenade in through the window Binghamton sees the smoke and starts screaming, and McHale yells a warning and then runs in. He gets Binghamton and Carpenter into protective suits, and the crew outside fire the guns to make it sound the like the ammo is blowing up. As McHale shoves the officers to the floor, he opens the storage room door and the couples run out. The nurses get away and Parker and Happy come in to put out the "fire." Gruber gives the all-clear, and Binghamton thanks McHale for saving his life. McHale has Parker spray Binghamton in the face with fire extinguisher supply and Binghamton blesses McHale for taking the precaution.
Later, the crew waits on the 73 for Happy to come out after he meets with the Navy psychiatrist. Happy and Nancy come over and Nancy says that the psychiatrist pronounced Happy fit for duty. The psychiatrist said that he had an idea that Happy sleepwalked, and Happy leaves for a date with Ann. Nancy goes after Parker, who dives into the water to avoid her.
Written by Gadfly on Jan 11, 2017