The crew and Urulu try to sell the base sailors choice lots with split-level ranch-style huts for after the war. McHale and Parker arrive and realize that the crew is selling the island. A disguised Binghamton shows up, buys the first lost, arrests Gruber, and calls in the SPs to arrest the others. McHale suggests that they give the crew a chance to explain, and Urulu complains that Binghamton is ruining the real estate market. Binghamton kicks Urulu out and tells him never to come back.
Later, Carpenter brings Binghamton the court-martial papers. Binghamton figures that it's foolproof, just as Admiral Rogers calls. He says that they need a deserted island, Onokiki, for a radar station and the Navy wants Bingham to negotiate for it. Urulu owns it, and Binghamton claims that they're bosom buddies. Binghamton calls McHale in, and McHale figures that it's a chance to get the charges dropped. The captain agrees... if they get Onokiki. McHale then says that Binghamton is going to have to make friends with Urulu, and suggests that he invite Urulu over as his personal guest and give him the VIP treatment. Binghamton has no choice but to agree.
Soon, Urulu and his men arrive and the crew is the welcome band. Binghamton reluctantly greets Urulu as a dignitary, and Urulu figures that something is up. Parker suggests that they take Urulu for a spin on the 73, and Urulu says that likes the boat ride... and Parker. He insists that Binghamton come with him, and Binghamton irritably agrees.
Once at sea, Urulu takes the wheel and makes Binghamton seasick. He then serves up hamburgers, and McHale tells Binghamton that he has to accept it. They come to a reef and McHale has Urulu turn the wheel. Binghamton falls over the side, and they pick him up and take him back to Taratupa. McHale says that they'll throw Urulu a dinner that night and then he'll be glad to give them the island. Binghamton goes to his quarters to get some rest and finds Urulu in his bed. As Binghamton starts to lose his temper, Rogers calls and Urulu answers the phone. Binghamton quickly takes it, and Parker gets Urulu out. Rogers asks if Binghamton has closed the deal with Urulu and tells him to get the island. Once Binghamton hangs up, McHale advises him to apologize to Urulu or he'll never come to the dinner. Binghamton goes out to find Urulu, who is driving a base jeep and almost runs him over.
That night, everyone gathers for the dinner and Urulu thanks them all for their hospitality. McHale asks him to sell them Onokiki and Urulu wonders what took them so long to ask. He has the deed with him and figures that they want to build on it. He offers Onokiki for $350,000, figuring the Navy has plenty of money. Binghamton loses it and starts choking Urulu, and McHale has the crew sing to try and cover the incident over.
Later at the hutch, Gruber realizes that he's created a monster. They figure that they have to convince Urulu that it's a poor neighborhood, and McHale has an idea. He tells the crew to invite Urulu to a cocktail party while Willy opens up the radio shack.
Later, the crew makes Urulu comfortable, and he jacks his price up to $500,000. McHale plays along and turns on the radio, and they say that it's time for The Fujiyama Phil Show. It's Fuji, impersonating a propaganda DJ. He announces that the Imperial Navy is taking over Onokiki. As Urulu figures that he can dump it on the U.S. for $250, Parker wanders into the radio shack and speaks up, blowing the deal. Urulu realizes that it's a trick and doubles the price to $1 million.
The Imperial Fleet intercepts the broadcast and decides to go after Onokiki.
The crew tries to come up with an idea, and Gruber points out that the original real estate fliers said no volcanos. McHale has an idea and tells the crew that Onokiki is going to have a volcano.
Later, Carpenter tells Binghamton that a recon plane has spotted the 73 heading for Onokiki. Binghamton figures that McHale and Urulu are working together to jack up the price, and if he proves it then it'll get him off the hook with high command.
Out on the 73, McHale assures Urulu that they'll pay his price. The rest of the crew are already on the island and set off smoke bombs, simulating a volcano. They play kettledrums to simulate an eruption and when they go ashore, the crew sets off dynamite. When McHale says that the Navy isn't interested, Urulu quickly makes a pre-volcano offer of $100.
As Binghamton and Carpenter sneak onto Onokiki, they hear the explosions. They spot McHale signing the papers with Urulu, and Binghamton goes out to confront them. He stumbles over a wire, setting off a charge, and it sets off an oil well. Urulu realizes what it is and figures that they were trying to cheat him, and demands a million billion for Onokiki.
A Japanese battleship opens fire on the island and Urulu figures that it's another act... until the shells land nearby. Everyone gets aboard the 73 and leaves.
Later at the hutch, the crew figures that they're heading for the brig. Parker comes in and says that Binghamton found the Navy another island, Mendura. The 73 heads there but miss the high tide. Binghamton and Rogers are up a tree which is the only thing above the surface of the water after high tide. McHale congratulates them on the lovely view.
Written by Gadfly on Mar 10, 2017