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Emergency Punch-Up Recap

Ron is watching a video about Dr. Psycho when Teddy and Wendy come over. Dorothy comes over and spoils it for Ron.

Later, everyone prepares to go on the corporate retreat. The legal department settled the lawsuit from the previous year when Wendy got naked. Emily assures them that she's made sure the retreat has all of their favorite things, including karaoke. No one but Emily likes karaoke, and Van makes a joke and then checks with two consultants who nod in approval. Emily hands out the t-shirts with personalized catchphrases and they head for the busses... except for her group, who have to wait for Dorothy. Van says that Dorothy can ride in her chopper and he'll drop her off in Heaven, and Jackie realizes that the two men are feeding him lines.

Van calls Jackie into his office and makes a joke about her shirt. He finally admits that the retreat is the only time for him to get face-time with the big dogs. The two men, Gabe and Noah, wrote for the Lampoon and they insult Jackie's college via Van until she storms out. She wakes up Emily, who is exhausted from planning the retreat. Emily admits that her team is a little like children, but that just means she has to keep the train running. They want to know when they're going to leave, and Emily says that they have to wait for Dorothy because they're a team.

The emergency alarms go off and they realize that it's a gas attack. On the news, Gail Simone announces that Dr. Psycho has released an unknown toxic gas into Charm City. Scientists estimate that it will take 12 hours for the gas to dissipate. The building goes into emergency lockdown and the two writers give Van a joke to make.

While the team waits for the gas to dissipate, Emily complains that she really needed the retreat. Teddy tells her that it's all her fault for making them wait for Dorothy. Ron tells them that Dorothy is already at the retreat, and Van tells them to relax... until he learns that his chopper can't make it through the gas and he's stuck with them. Emily asks for twenty minutes to throw something together so they can have their retreat there. Meanwhile, Van keeps getting fed insults for Jackie through his earpiece, and everyone thinks that they're funny except for Jackie.

Twenty minutes later, Emily has created a tiki bar out of backup decorations and tries to sell her karaoke idea. Everyone refuses and they have some drinks. They admit that they don't hate what they're doing as much as they thought they would, and they all thank alcohol rather than Emily. She suggests that they play Desert Island Companion, where they each pick one person they'd want to be with if they were stranded on a desert island. Jackie would go by herself even if she'd die, Wendy picks Van because she figures she can overpower and eat him, Teddy picks Ron, Ron picks Jackie because she's smart and practical. Teddy takes offense and says that he would have picked Emily if he wanted practical. They start arguing about each other's personality issues, and they all start arguing. When Van tries to make another joke at Jackie's expense, she tells him to shut up if he wants to live.

They end up disputing whether Teddy can spear fish, and Van challenges Teddy to throw a tiki torch hard enough to knock over a trash can. Teddy accepts and breaks a window, letting gas in. They run into the lab and seal the door, but the gas masks are out in the main room along with the food and water. Jackie picks Teddy as her desert island companion, and Ron accuses Teddy of betraying him. Emily says that if they get the gas masks then they get supplies. There are no hazmat suits, and Ron points out that Dorothy took them for the costume party at the retreat. They argue about who should hold their breath and go, and Van's jokes fall flat because Noah is the joke guy and he got stuck outside and died.

Emily makes an improvised hazmat suit and they make a helmet out of a bucket. She goes out via the airlock and they assure her over the radio that it's not the bathroom bucket. The gas masks are on the ceiling, and Teddy checks the manual to see how to get them down. He starts bickering with Ron again until Emily tells them to focus, She finally climbs upon a table and gets the masks, and Noah runs over, yanks opens Emily's helmet, and insists that he's the funny one. He runs off and Emily collapses.

Emily wakes up a few seconds later and tells the others that they're selfish bastards and they don't care about her. She throws away the gas masks and starts insulting Van. Ron turns out the news and Gail announce that the fog is truth gas. Exposure to the gas for more than two hours will cause the nervous system to shut down, resulting in death. The team tries to explain to Emily what is going on, but she complains about how they never thank her. Jackie figures that someone will have to go save Emily, and Ron ends up not volunteering last.

The team makes another suit for Ron and gives him a cherry Danish to lure Emily in. Emily attacks him and breaks the safety line, and Ron runs in and hugs Teddy. Van points out that they were bunch of strangers until Emily arrived, reciting Noah's inspirational speech. Jackie tells the others that they know the sacrifice they have to make to get Emily back in. They all sing karaoke and Emily comes in and joins in... and then passes out.

Later, the gas dissipates and Emily doesn't remember anything that happens. They tell her that it's the best retreat that they ever had, thanks to Emily. They overthank her, and Emily figures that she needs to trust them as they invite her to karaoke.

Written by Gadfly on Apr 7, 2017

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