As Lucifer is wheeled through a mental hospital on a gurney, he tells himself that he's delusional and he's made it all up that he's the Devil.
36 Hours Earlier...
Lucifer tells Linda that he's doing great, and Linda points out that God and his ex-wife fighting might cause problems for humanity. He assures her that humanity will "probably" be fine, and admits that he hasn't told Maze because it's a secret plan. Lucifer notes that Maze is focusing on Chloe right now.
Chloe is trying to sneak out of her house when Maze finds her. Maze insists on making breakfast for her--burnt toast--and Maze figures that she should manage the social part of their relationship. Chloe suggests that they should expand their circle of friends, and Maze says that she understands.
As Chloe and Lucifer go to their new crime scene at the Westridge Canyon Psychiatric Hospital, Chloe suggests that Lucifer should hang out with Maze more. Lucifer warns Chloe that Maze tends to imprint on people, and now she's imprinting on Chloe. Chloe doesn't want her to, and Lucifer assures her that eventually Maze will move on to someone else. Ella is examining the corpse of an orderly, Toby Milligan, who was bludgeoned to death with a backgammon board. The staff have been moving the patients to a different floor so they wouldn't be disturbed. Dan comes in and tells them that God Johnson found the body. Johnson changed his name legally, and Lucifer wants to talk to the All-Mighty. Dan warns them that they have to go through bureaucratic hoops to talk to Johnson.
Once Dan and Chloe leave, Lucifer goes into the office where Johnson is waiting. He plans to tell Johnson the truth about reality, and uses his power on Johnson. It has no effect, and Lucifer figures that Johnson is on drugs and immune. An orderly comes in and tells Lucifer to leave, and Lucifer starts to go... and Johnson addresses him as Samael.
Later at his penthouse, Lucifer asks Amenadiel if God ever visited Earth before. Amenadiel has never heard of it happening, and figures that if God had a problem then he'd send an emissary. He suggests that Johnson found out about Lucifer via the Internet, but Lucifer points out that he didn't introduce himself. Amenadiel figures that it's just crazy talk, but Lucifer suggests that God decided to take a personal look at his "toy." His brother insists that Earth is nothing compared to Heaven, and Lucifer asks him if there's anything--or anyone--that he'll miss once they return to Heaven. He makes it clear that he's talking about Maze.
At the station, Ella talks with Chloe and Lucifer about whether Johnson could be really be God. Lucifer figures that Johnson is a hypocrite, and Chloe points out that there are some similarities between Lucifer and Johnson. Ella suggests that Johnson might be the killer, since she found his fingerprints on the victim's bald head. Earl Johnson is a wealthy oil magnate from Texas, and Johnson's wife committed him a few months ago after he gave his money away and started calling himself God. Lucifer figures that exposing Johnson as the killer will prove his false idolatry. Chloe explains that she had to apply for a special hearing to interview him, and that will take several days.
Later, Lucifer goes to the hospital to check himself in. He introduces himself as the real Lucifer, but the receptionist says that they're at near capacity. Lucifer grabs him by the throat and the receptionist quickly deems Lucifer a threat.
At the station, Dan discovers that someone stole his pudding again. Charlotte comes forward and admits that she did, and says that she needs to distract herself with something because she can't leave. Dan makes it clear that he's not interested, and Charlotte is impressed with his sassiness.
Lucifer goes to the common room and finds patients playing poker with imaginary cards and chips. He asks them what they know about Johnson, and one patient says that he saw Johnson perform a miracle: he got extra Jello-O for him at snack time. As Lucifer walks away, a patient--Billy-- throws his underwear at him. Dr. Liam Garrity comes up and tells Billy to stop, and introduces himself to Lucifer. When he takes Billy away, Lucifer notices that Johnson has left. He sees Johnson holding a woman and assumes that he's murdering her. Lucifer knocks Johnson away, but he says that he has to save her and lays his hands back on her. Blood flows from her cut throat, and the injury heals as Lucifer watches. He figures that Johnson is God... and punches him.
Chloe arrives and Lucifer tells her that he got himself committed to help the investigation. She decides to pull the plug, and Lucifer admits that he has some personal issues with Johnson. He explains that he saw Johnson heal the woman, and she told Lucifer that Santa Claus killed him.
Later, Chloe talks to Garrity and admits that Lucifer has recently gone from quirky to outright strange. Garrity wonders if she's romantically involved with Lucifer, and she assures him that Lucifer is just a co-worker. Nurse Kipsy comes over and tells him that it's time for music therapy, and Garrity gives Chloe his card if she wants to talk to him about anything. Maze calls Chloe to tell her something.
Lucifer confronts Johnson and gives him one chance to apologize. Johnson offers to forgive him, and realizes that Lucifer believes that he's God. Lucifer starts rattling off the offenses he thinks God has dealt him, and says that Charlotte is there. He talks about how his wife appeared to him out of darkness and they lit up the universe. Lucifer demands that Johnson atone for what he's done, his eyes flaring red. Linda comes in and Lucifer gets control of himself.
Chloe tells Maze about her conversation with Garrity, and Maze figures that he's attracted to Chloe. The detective doesn't believe it, and Maze says that she's set up a booze cruise and wants Chloe alone. Chloe insists that wasn't what she meant, and Maze promises that she'll set it all up so that Chloe can date with Garrity. The demon insists that they're flowing, and doesn't believe Chloe when she says it's the exact opposite.
At the police lab, Ella is singing to herself when Chloe comes in and asks her if she's found any evidence pointing to Santa Claus. Ella has found a long white hair on the victim's clothes, and Chloe figures that the mental patient mistook her killer for Santa Claus. She points out a patient, Dale Peterson, who looks like Santa Claus. Chloe figures that she'll need doctor's permission to get an interview with Peterson, and calls Maze to ask for her help.
As Lucifer wheels Linda through the hospital, Linda explains that Chloe sent her to check on Lucifer. Lucifer figures that since Johnson has feelings for Charlotte, he has a better way to get back at his father... and Linda is going to help him.
That night, Lucifer organizes the patients--including Johnson--to help him escape. They're not particularly interested. One patient, Pete, wants to watch everything burn. Lucifer sends him off and encourages the other patients to fulfill their desires. Once they leave, he tells Johnson that it will create a distraction. The alarms go off and Lucifer leads Johnson out through the chaos. Linda is waiting to drive them off, and she bows to Johnson.
Chloe is getting dressed to go on her "date" with Garrity and interrogate Peterson. Maze explains that she invited Garrity there for dinner, figuring that they're having a threesome. There's a knock at the door, but Maze discovers that it's Amenadiel.
Lucifer calls Charlotte to Lux to show her something. Johnson is at the piano and the music comes on. As Lucifer and Linda secretly watch from behind the bar, Johnson greets Charlotte. Lucifer tells Linda that he's trying to recreate God and his wife's first date, and figures that they'll soon start torturing each other and he'll have his revenge. Charlotte wonders if Johnson is really her husband, and she knees him in the groin for putting her in Hell.
When Garrity arrives, he has pizza with Maze, Amenadiel, and Chloe. Maze tells him that she's from Hell, and explains that Chloe is ready to go. Chloe leads her away and Amenadiel admires the shape of Garrity's head. Meanwhile, Chloe tells Maze that she doesn't need what Lucifer needs, but she does need a friend. Maze gives her her privacy, and Amenadiel goes after her and Chloe tries to get Garrity talking about the patients.
In the kitchen, Maze wonders why Amenadiel is there. She suggests that they have sex, and Amenadiel explains that he came because there's not much time before they're gone. He realizes that Lucifer didn't tell Maze that they're returning to Heaven, and Maze demands to know the truth. She's shocked when Amenadiel says that they're going back to Heaven.
Chloe tries to get Garrity to talk about Peterson, claiming that he reminds her of her crazy uncle. Garrity gets a call from the hospital that Lucifer escaped and took Johnson with him.
Charlotte finds Lucifer and points out that Johnson being there tends to ruin their plans to storm Heaven. She refuses to forgive her husband, and Lucifer says that Johnson seriously misses her. Johnson comes over and tells Charlotte that she's a vision. As Lucifer leaves with Linda, Johnson apologizes for Charlotte suffering. She admits that humanity isn't entirely awful, and Lucifer turns on some dance music. Johnson asks Charlotte to dance with him, and she accepts. Linda wonders if Lucifer is after revenge.
As they dance, Charlotte admits that getting back together with Johnson wasn't part of the plan. He suggests that they make a plan together, and they kiss. Chloe arrives with two unis who haul Johnson away. Back at the hospital, Lucifer tells Chloe that Johnson is his father and he needed to do some matchmaking. Kipsy comes in with Lucifer's meds, and he cheerfully takes them. Chloe figures that being in the mental hospital is the best thing for Lucifer, and she goes to Garrity's office. She apologizes for lying to him and admits that sometimes she gets short-sighted. Garrity tells her that if she had been upfront, he would have told her that Peterson was there for 15 years and has no violent tendencies. He lets her catch a glimpse at Peterson's medical file, and she finds a photo of Peterson with someone dressed as Santa Claus.
When Chloe tells Garrity her suspicions, he points out that a different person dresses up as Santa every year. He takes her to costume in a cabinet, and she discovers that the hat and beard are gone. Chloe asks who else has access to the cabinet... and wants Garrity to put on a pair of handcuffs.
With Chloe in the building, Lucifer feels the drugs' effects. A woman comes in dressed as Santa and knocks Lucifer unconscious. She strap Lucifer to a gurney and wheels him down the hall, and tells Lucifer that he's delusional. The drugged Lucifer yells that he made it all up, just as the killer wheels him next to a similarly-confined Johnson in an operating theater. She threatens Lucifer with a scalpel unless he tells her what the police know, and Johnson casually addresses her as Kipsy. Kipsy removes the mask and wonders why the drugs aren't working on Johnson. Lucifer points out that it's because he's God, but figures that the drugs are working on him because Chloe is there. Kipsy says that since they know who she is, she has to kill them both.
Once Chloe handcuffs Garrity as a precaution, she lifts a fingerprint, takes a photo of it, and sends it to the station. Ella confirms that it belongs to Patricia Hightower, and Garrity confirms that the patient Johnson helped was Sue Hightower. A DMV photo comes through and Garrity identifies it as Kipsy.
Kipsy tells Lucifer and Johnson that she changed her name so no one would know that Sue was her mother. Sue was a manipulative bitch who tortured her, so Kipsy decided to torture her by pumping her full of drugs. Lucifer tells her that he sympathizes and evil parents deserve to be punished. Milligan found out what she was doing and threatened to turn her in, so Kipsy killed him. Lucifer says that he'll have to punish her because Milligan was innocent, but he's strapped to the gurney and can't get up. Kipsy explains that she gave him a massive dose of Haldol. Since Johnson got a special disposition to wear a belt, Kipsy figures that she'll make it look like Johnson killed Lucifer and then hung himself.
As Kipsy goes to get a ladder, Johnson admits that he was surprised that Lucifer was so mad that he wanted to destroy him. He asks why, and Lucifer tells him that he's his son and Johnson rejected him. Johnson admits that he doesn't remember why he was so angry with Lucifer in the first place. As Kipsy comes back, Johnson apologizes to Lucifer and says that he's proud of the man that he's become.
As Kipsy takes Johnson's belt, Chloe and two orderlies arrive and arrest her. Lucifer tells her that he's never felt better, and Johnson doesn't remember anything or anyone that happened. When Lucifer sees Johnson's belt on the floor, he picks it up.
Back at the penthouse, Lucifer puts the belt piece on Azrael's Blade, forming the hilt, and shows it to Amenadiel. He remembers Uriel telling him that "the piece is here," and figures that when God destroyed the Blade, he broke it into two pieces. Johnson stumbled across it and just as the Blade inspired death, the Hilt inspired healing. When Johnson found out about his new powers, he thought he was God. The Hilt falls off of the Blade, and Lucifer wonders if Charlotte knows how to restore it. He notices that she's gone.
Charlotte goes to Dan's apartment and tells him that she kissed a man that she thought was her ex-husband. After he kissed her, she realized that the man wasn't her husband. She doesn't know if she's more upset that it wasn't her husband, or that she wishes it was. Charlotte asks Dan if they can just hold each other--with Dan's pants off--and he invites her in.
As Johnson prepares to head back to Texas, Lucifer talks to him. The last thing Johnson remembers is that he was walking through a Navajo gift shop, picked up the belt buckle, and then woke up strapped to a gurney next to Lucifer. Johnson apologies if he upset Lucifer, and Lucifer admits that Johnson said some things to him that he wishes his father would say. When Johnson wonders if Lucifer is still angry at his father, Lucifer says that he's angrier than ever because his father would never say the things to him that Johnson did.
Written by Gadfly on May 15, 2017