Emily arrives at work and says that she got her first place. She's moved her stuff into her condo, and invites them all to her housewarming. Emily says that they can see it from there, and shows it to them just as an alien ship destroy sit as part of its attack on the city.
Later, the news is announcing that a mysterious fleet of alien ships have come through a wormhole. President Luthor has Tweeted that they'll build a wall and make the aliens pay for it. Wayne HQ has been hit, and Bob Black sitting on the board has been killed. Van is thrilled to hear that it's his chance. Emily discovers that her insurance won't cover the loss of her condo because they're from the future so technically it hasn't happened yet.
Later, Emily is going through hr ruined condo. The others arrive and Emily says that all she has is a throw pillow and her robot vacuum. They give Emily a CARE package and Ted has found her some apartments on Craigslist. Emily admits that they're the symbol of everything she's accomplished in her job, not the condo.
Later, Chairman Dean West arrives to talk to Van. Van figures that he's getting his promotion and goes into his office to talk to West. Soon, Van calls Emily into his office and introduces West and tells them that because of the attack on Gotham, they're going to have to make some cuts: Emily will have to fire one of her department heads: Teddy, Ron, or Wendy.
As the aliens continue destroying the city, Emily asks Jackie what she's supposed to do. Jackie tells her that it's business, and Emily says that she'll find a way around it. She goes into Van's office and finds him on his couch bemoaning the fact that they gave "his" spot to Black's widow. Van figures that his life is over, even though he has a hundred million dollars. Emily has found tons of budget cuts and figures that they don't have to fire anyone. She has a depressed Van sign the budget.
Teddy and Ron are watching a video on Youtube of a nerd try to become the Flash by electrocuting himself. Van sees them and asks if it's true, and he figures he might as well try it. They soon rig him up to chemistry and electricity for their podcast, and Van says that his name means nothing. He figures that if he has actual superpowers then he can show everyone. They douse him with chemicals and he electrocutes himself. When Van wakes up, Teddy and Ron fake moving slowly to make Van think he has superspeed. Van is convinced and runs through the office. Ron and Teddy laugh and admit that they pranked Van.
West is coming in through when Emily asks if he got the budget. He tells her that she showed the division was profitable, and tells everyone that they're selling the division to LexCorp. They've been looking for a buyer for the last year, but the numbers didn't work out until Emily came along. The head of HR comes back in a week and will determine what happens to their jobs.
As workers remove the equipment, Emily points out that LexCorp is calling them in the next day and wouldn't fire them if they were replaceable. The LexCorp R&D team---Emma, Freddy, Don, and Wanda--arrive and look oddly familiar. Wendy and Wanda even have the same parole officer. Once they go into the lab, Teddy figures that they're being fired.
That night, Emily and Jackie go out on the balcony and Emily admits that none of it would have happened if she had fired someone. Jackie tells her that they're work buddies, not family, and they won't see each other again until one of them dies: probably Wendy. Emily insists that it's a bond for life as she walks off, but Jackie isn't convinced. As she goes back in, she steps into a bucket of chemicals and is hit by lighting.
The team arrives at LexCorp and discovers that they hand out free nachos. Van is there and shaved his head to suck up to Lex. The LexCorp rep, Russell, comes over and offers them therapeutic dolphins to swim with. He assures them that they're not being fired, and they're creating an entire division just for them. Anything they think of, they're going to build. However, Russell admits that they don't hire assistants so Jackie is out of a job. Van says that they don't care, but Emily does.
Soon, the team is relaxing and Wendy figures that it's the best thing that ever happened to them. Emily suggests that they want to walk away to force LexCorp to hire Jackie, but Van isn't interested. He opens a door and finds the alien wormhole. Emily figures that Lex is behind it, and Emily eagerly jumps in to confirm it's the evil wormhole. A few seconds later she rides out on a horse, wearing battle armor. Wendy admits that it's the evil wormhole, and she was in Skataris for two years and freed a nation of slaves. She only came back to see Game of Thrones.
Emily wants to shut down the wormhole, but Van says that all companies occasionally do evil things and nobody's perfect. Russell comes in realizes that they saw the wormhole, and now they have to kill them. He assures them that it will be painless, humane, and their corpses will be turned into no-calorie cheese. Russell gives them a few minutes to say their final goodbyes, and then they get to pick their cheese. He isn't interested in Van's bribes, and Emily figures that they have to do something. Teddy tells her that sometimes there's no happy ending.
Russell brings in the euthanasia guy, Estefan, and Jackie superspeeds in and knocks out the mercenaries. She ties up Russell and Estefan, and explains that Ron and Teddy accidentally gave her superpowers. Emily insists that their family, and Jackie admits that she liked them not enough not to see them die. She unplugs the wormhole and Van asks her to get her out of the handcuffs and get him a wig.
Later, the GOP vote not to impeach President Luthor. Jackie tells the team that she hates superspeed, and Emily points out that their jobs ended and they're still hanging out. The others agree that they're friends, and Jackie superspeeds away before Emily can hug her. They all go to the petting zoo while Chairman West shows up to tell a tree to tune in to see what happens to the team, and the team wonder why he's talking to a plant.
Written by Gadfly on Jun 17, 2017