Race Night 5
Heart Entertainment presents The Slinks, filmed in front of a live studio audience. Lavern Slink tells Julian that their son Melvin is hiding condoms under his bed. Julian calls Melvin in and is angry that they went through his stuff. He says that some of his friends don't even use them, and zombies arrive at the door. Julian pours himself a drink, while the zombies break in through the door and kill the wife and son, tearing them apart.
The Blood Drive ends in Meadeville, and Grace beats Julian and demands to know where her sister Karma is. She shows him the photo showing that Julian was a hospital administrator decades ago, and Arthur points out that their plan isn't working. He asks Julian why Heart wants medical facilities, and Julian taunts them.
Twin brother and sister Jack and Diane arrive at the Mayhem Party looking for Julian and figure that they can spot him. The crowd cheers for Julian, and the twins head out to look for Julian.
Aki returns to the lab and asks how Chris is. She says that she brought clean clothes for him and they're done with the tests. She wants to take the bandage off his eye because his new eye is ready, and Chris hesitant climbs up on the table. Aki assures Chris that Heart enterprises takes care of their own, and offers her hand. She gently removes the bandage and tells him that he's good as new, and gives him a mirror to see that he's good as new. He screams as he sees the scars on his face, and Aki screams with him.
Julian suggests that they just let him go so he can do his job, but Arthur demands the truth about everything Heart has done. He tells them to show him one unsullied thing on the planet, and Arthur insists that he's a good cop and so is Chris. Unimpressed, Julian tells Arthur that they both know who Arthur really is. Grace warns that the crowd will soon come in looking for Julian, and Julian says that they want carnage. Arthur puts on Julian's MC costume and goes out to try and impersonate Julian. Everyone stares at him, and then yell that he sucks and throws things at him.
Jack and Diane walk through the crowd Jack and Diane walk up. Diane assumes that Arthur is Julian, but Jack isn't so sure. She tells him not to let Julian free him, and Jack uses a paper origami chooser to ask when it's okay to love. The message says that it's okay when it's for love, and Jack prepares to kill for their parents. Diane says that they have to thin the crowd because they might try to stop them. They'll give them the kiss and let the virus do its job, and then take out their target when nobody else is left. Diane and Jack go through the crowd kissing men and women.
Aki tells Chris that his face is now a metaphor for Heart becoming part of him. at Heart, Chris is a small component of something far greater. Chris says that he's going home, and Aki tells him that he's free to go... once he settles up. The cost is $20 million.
The crowd continue booing Arthur. Inside the tent, Grace realizes that Julian's groins I metal and wonders what he is. Julian tells her that he only exists to be the Master of Mayhem, and suggests that they both watch Arthur die.
Arthur tells a joke for the crowd, and everyone yells to kill him. Inside, Grace realizes that Julian only cares about one thing, and whispers to Arthur to give the crowd what they want. A man comes up on stage to attack him and Arthur knocks him into the stage. The crowd cheers the violence and Arthur starts beating the man and cheers.
Jack continues kissing women, infecting them with the Dionysus Strain.
Stage 1 of the Dionysus Strain: Euphoric Abandon
Jack and Diane sit on the Suck Bus and watch a crowd, and remember the day their father brought the strain back from work and ravaged their mother. Diane can still hear them in their head as they had sex. In the Suck Bus below them, the infected victims have sex with each other. Jack asks his choose if he'll find the one, and it says that she'll be his sister. He then tells Diane that once Julian is over, Diane will know it wasn't for nothing. She admits that Jack is all that she has and they start to kiss as the victims copulate below them.
Arthur leaps into the crowd and Diane tells Jackie that "Julian" is just a kiss away. meanwhile, Arthur fights more attackers, yelling at them to come on. He knocks an old woman out of her shoes and everyone cheers as she spits blood.
Julian tells Grace that someone at Heart is obsessed with Grace, while he secretly extends a knife from his hand. The MC says that someone has designs on Grace and Karma, as he slips his handcuffs.
Aki tells Chris that he can pay off his debt by working for 961 years and takes him to the mailroom.
Arthur continues fighting people but discovers that no one is watching him show. Two women come over and kiss him, and his eyes glow.
Grace asks Julian what Heart wants with her and Karma. Julian smells something, retracts his blade, and tells her to look outside. Grace peers out and sees the infected dancing, their mouths glowing. Julian asks her who she sees who don’t fit in, and Grace spots Diane and Jack dancing. The MC tells Grace that they'll destroy everything with what they've unleashed. Grace wonders why she should help him, and Julian tells her and Arthur to stop the twins and then he'll help them.
Stage 2 of the Dionysus Strain: Bluege
Bluege leaks from the Suck Bus.
Julian tells Grace that Jack and Diane are the only survivors of a Heart experiment. They tested the sex potion on Meadeville, and the crowd will tear each other apart when the infection hits the final stage. If Grace wants Julian's help, she needs him. Grace figures that Heart created a cure, and Julian says that he ordered the head scientist to test an antidote. When they lost control of the town, Dr. Vermaak had to abandon his work. All of his work is stored next door at Atlas Bottling. Julian explains that someone needs to get into the lab and find the antidote. He reveals that he's slipped the handcuffs and promises.
Jack and Diane find Arthur and assume that he's Julian. Incoherent, Arthur says that he's not Julian but they don't believe him. Grace arrives and tells them to check Arthur's namecheck, and they go off to find Julian. Arthur tells Grace that they should have one good one, and she finally hits him in the groin to snap him out of it, and they go to Atlas.
Chris delivers mail throughout the company and hears one executive receiving word that Blood Drive has been picked up. He gets transmissions of Arthur in Blood Drive through his eye, including Arthur telling Julian that Chris is also a good cop. Chris then goes after the executive as he leaves for the Hall of Secrets.
Grace tells Arthur that he needs to go to Atlas and find the reel of film with the instructions to make the cure. Once they have the cure, they'll take the infected to the plant to inoculate them. Arthur stares at her and Grace knees him in the groin to get his attention. As he hobbles off, Grace tells him that Julian is going to stall the twins but not for long.
As Julian puts his top hat back on, Diane comes in and greets Julian. He recognizes her and wonders where Jack is, and she shows him the card that he left behind when he killed everyone in Meadeville. Diane kisses him, and Julian tells her that he's immune just like she is. As Jack comes in with a baseball bat, Diane tells Julian that she was just kissing him goodbye.
The executive enters the Hall of Secrets, closing the door behind him. Chris ducks back as the man comes out, and Chris figures that it's too easy. His badge doesn't let him in, and the security system says that security guards are authorized.
Arthur enters Atlas and sees a photo of a woman. Struggling to focus, Arthur punches himself in the groin and continues on. He finds dead rabbits in cages and files about Dionysus. There's a reference to the test row where the cure is, and Arthur searches the place. He finds the reel with the cure instructions.
Diane and Jack take Julian to the factory and tell him that he's going to pay for their treachery after he tainted their father's lunch meat with the virus. Julian asks what they're going to do about it, and says that Meadeville was boring, and that the virus only amplifies existing desires. If the population hadn't been so repressed, they might still be alive. Diane starts up a giant Blood Drive-like engine to feed Julian in.
Stage 2 of the Dionysus Strain: Fuck Each Other to Death
People start dying, covered in bluege. Grace runs over and yells that there are free beers next door. When that doesn't get the Mayhemers' attention, she flashes her breasts and they chase after her.
Chris returns to the lab and Aki asks if he had a good first day. He says that he learned a lot, and says that he'd be better at security. Aki admits that his skills match nicely with their internal defense systems, but the position comes with coveted perks: electrical upgrades and body modifications. Chris' hearing with the promotions board isn't scheduled until 2186, and Chris asks if he can do anything to speed up the process. Aki kisses him and unzips his zipper.
Arthur watches the film, which shows Vermaak demonstrating the cure on the rabbits and explaining that they're siblings.
The twins prepare to toss Julian in the engine, and Julian wonders where Arthur is.
Vermaak talks about how when brother and sister are compelled to copulate, they secrete a bright orange discharge which can be used as an antidote and lubricant.
Grace runs in with the crazed Mayhemers chasing her. Arthur finds her and they slam a door shut to keep the Mayhemers out. He tells her that if the wins have sex then they'll create the antidote, and Grace has to get them to have sex. Arthur tells her to find them while he holds the door.
Jack and Diane are tossing Julian into the engine when Grace arrives and says that they don't need to kill him. She explains that she needs Julian alive to find Karma, and he's not the twins' real problem.
The Mayhemers grope Arthur through the door, and he yells to Grace that they're coming.
Grace tells the twins that she used to resist her urges but not anymore. She explains that they can't suppress their urges, and tells them that the special person is standing right next to them. Grace knows how they look at each other.
The Mayhemers overwhelm Arthur and he staggers along with them.
Jack and Diane kiss and then have sex, Arthur and the Mayhemers arrive as the twins excrete the antidote, and Julian shoves them into the engine. The antidote fills up the tanks and Julian has Grace spray the Mayhemers with the cure while he hides. Arthur gives Grace a thumbs up.
The next day, Arthur and Grace demand answers from Julian. Arthur says that he found a photo of the "Soul Reclamator prototype." Julian tells him that eventually he's going to have to admit that he's a bad guy. Arthur walks off, and Julian congratulates Grace on the speech he gave to the twins. Grace asks if she's looks soft, and Julian tells her that Karma was transferred to the Claireview Rehabilitation Center for Women. He's rerouted Blood drive past the place, and says that she can take the detour if she wants but the rules still apply.
At Heart, Old Man Heart turns on the blood gate. As Julian goes inside, a blood gate opens and he realizes that the network has more notes for him. He casually strolls through the gate.
Aki presents a Guide to Humanity, concluding that the essence of humanity means a) that the male erection is the key to understanding it, b) tears of sorrow make a better lubricant than tears of joy, and c) the most beautiful phrase in any language is Staunchly stapled Vagina Pie. Aki describes how long the human heart can pump blood outside of the human chest, and the best pizza topping is pepperoni. However, until now she hasn't understood that compassion makes humanity the greatest specimen on Earth.
Written by Gadfly on Jul 13, 2017