Malocchio catches a Greystar bus back to Earth and tries to sleep. A newscast comes on about the Presidential race on Earth, and how Mr. Awesome has recently made a series of highly public goofs.
At Awesome Mountain, Awesome calls Prock in and explains that his candidacy is falling apart. He wants Prock to take over as his campaign manager Prock immediately agrees and his father warns him that there's something about him that could come out. He worked alongside a superhero named Fuego and the man botched a mission, setting a seeing eye dog school on fire. Fuego still blames Awesome but was sued by the school and could no longer get superhero insurance. Awesome wants Prock to get the information from Fuego, and then casually says that he knows Prock is going to be a father. When Prock wonders how he knows, Awesome quickly hides Neuromancer's brain scan report and assures his son he'll be a good father. Before Prock goes, Awesome tells hi to take Perfect Man with him. Once Prock leaves, Awesome calls his new team and tells them to begin their secret training protocols now that Perfect Man is out of the way.
At Prock's home, Prock finds Frantic sobbing. The others tell him that Frantic's boyfriend broke up with him. Prock tells Perfect Man that they have to go on a work trip together. Muscleman convinces his friend to take him along, and Hotwire tells Prock to have fun while she helps with Frantic. Muscleman packs camping equipment, and Prock explains that they're going on a campaign trip.
That night, the rest of the team takes Frantic to a gay club to cheer him up. A gay couple take Gadget Gal away for drinks because they like how she talks, and one man goes over to the GayFather, seated at a booth. At the team's table, the group spots the GayFather and his Gay Mafia, the world's first openly gay super villain team. Concierge figures that they should leave and looks for Frantic. Frantic is sitting at the bar nursing a drink, and a gay super villain bumps into him. It's love at first sight.
Malocchio's space bus is caught in a traffic jam. A frustrated Malocchio finally puts on a helmet and goes for a spacewalk. He tries to borrow a car and the driver tells him to get bent. The villain apologizes, tosses the driver out of his car, and drives away for Earth.
Prock, Muscleman, and Perfect Man drive cross-country and stop to see the sights along the way. Prock wants to drive rather than fly so he can talk out his impending fatherhood with his guys. Perfect Man complains about the car and realizes that he doesn't remember ever being in a car except for when he was a baby. As he explains that he never took trips with his parents, the trio comes to a Hamburger City and stop for lunch. It reminds Perfect Man of when he was a boy.
Young Perfect Man are eating at a Hamburger City and his mother let him use his heat vision to warm up the hamburger. She explains that she's sad because Perfect Man's father was supposed to meet them there but didn't show.
Perfect Man tells Prock and Muscleman that for the first time in his life, he doesn't know if he's okay.
At the Awesomes' house, Frantic's date Christopher arrives. They drive off and the date says that he needs to check on a project first.
At the Gay Mafia lair, gay men are artificially antiquing antiques when Frantic and Christopher come in. The GayFather tells his aide that he's going to trick Frantic into helping him with Project X.
Malocchio switches to Redonkulous Speed and heads for Earth.
Perfect Man wonders who the mother is in his flashbacks. Muscleman avoids asking Prock about breast feeding and assures him he'll be a great dad. They hit a bumpy road and Perfect Man remembers flying in a room with a one-way mirror. His "mother" is on the side, speaking to a scientist who assures her that Perfect Man's father set everything up. The scientist says that they'll do a mind wipe so that Perfect Man doesn't remember his childhood.
At the Gay Mafia warehouse, the GayFather takes Frantic to a secret basement chamber and explains that in three days, every closeted celebrity is going to come out during Pride Week. The Gay Mafia has created a radioactive Love Potion #10. If a gay person drinks it then their skin turns blue, revealing their secret to the world. The GayFather figures that Frantic will help them because he understands the pain of being closeted... and if the gay men want to stay in the closet, they can pay the Gay Mafia. The FBI have tapped all of the GayFather's phones, so he needs Frantic to deliver messages to his allies. He assures Frantic that the serum is harmless even though it's radioactive.
Malocchio heads for Earth.
Frantic returns home and tells the team that he's conflicted about outing gay men. Tim points out that the danger of a radioactive antidote might more of a priority.
Prock, Muscleman, and Perfect Man make S'mores with the car's cigarette lighter. Muscleman talks about how it sucks not to have parents, and Prock reminds him that Perfect Man doesn't have parents because they were killed before shooting their son to Earth. Perfect Man wonders what it means if the story isn't true, just as they arrive at Fuego's compound.
Malocchio crashes the car in the ocean and manages to swim to shore... on a deserted island.
The Awesomes break into the Gay Mafia headquarters and the GayFather greets them. Frantic insists that gays should be able to decide for themselves if and when they come out of the closet. GayFather warns that he's stockpiled enough love potion to flood the city's entire water supply, and the heroes attack.
Prock and the others enter the compound and Fuego attacks them when they say it's about Mr. Awesome. Perfect Man can't blow out the flames with his superbreath, so he picks up a lake and dumps it on the fire. Fuego invites them in and says that he never demanded money from Awesome. Now he's going to let Prock decide if he'll be a good son or not. Prock figures that his father will show it to him if he needs to know. As they go, Fuego tells Perfect Man that he'd enjoy reading it.
The Awesomes make short work of the Gay Mafia and break their computer. The GayFather starts to hook up the main line himself, and Impresario creates a condom to block it long enough for Christopher to knock his boss out. He tells Frantic that he was right and people should come out on their own terms.
Later, Prock delivers the file to Awesome and they go to get a bite to eat. Prock is unaware that the file holds paternity results suggesting that Awesome may be Perfect Man's father.
The team relaxes at home as Prock and the others return. Frantic and Christopher are buying a new home online, and Prock tells Hotwire that for once his father might be proud of him. She assures him that she's feeling good for a pregnant woman, just as Malocchio comes in and realizes that he'll be a grandpa. He then tells them that Awesome is evil and must be stopped.
Written by Gadfly on Oct 22, 2015