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The Return of the Lady Recap

At the Carlton, Paladin receives a telegram and Hey Boys says that he wanted to see Paladin's face. The telegram is from Diana Coulter, asking Paladin to come and give her away at the wedding, and he's to come to the B.G. Ranch.

Later, Paladin rides to the ranch in Texas. He comes to a camp, and when he tries to get coffee one of the men tries to whip him. Paladin disarms the man, and a man stands up and says that he and his men are heading to the wedding. The man asks if Paladin is the one coming to give the bride away, and introduces himself as General Benjamin Glock--"B.G.". B.G. tells his men to mount up, and the man with the whip--Vance--glares at Paladin.

That night, B.G. tells Paladin that his ranch is the biggest in all Texas. Paladin says that Diana must be impressed, and Vance says that it's a long way to come to give away the pride. The gunfighter takes offense that Vance knows Diana's correspondence, and B.G. asks what Paladin's business is. Paladin gives B.G. his card, and B.G. sarcastically tells Vance that he should make Paladin feel like he's on vacation. Once the maid, Maria, takes Paladin to his room, B.G. asks Vance if Diana is playing him for a fool. Vance says that she is, and B.G. wonders if Vance is trying to get Diana for himself. The henchman suggests that B.G. let him take Diana off of his hands, and B.G. slaps him.

Once Maria takes Paladin to his room, he asks where Diana is. Maria leaves without a word, and Paladin hears something moving in the armoire. He draws her gun and tells the person inside to get out, and Diana steps out. Paladin offers his congratulations, and Diana complains that he left her behind while he went out on jobs. She finally says that there was an advertisement for an English tutor, and it turned out that B.G. wanted to become an aristocrat. Diana says that she doesn't love B.G. and sent Paladin the telegram to summon him. She says that she's being kept there, and Paladin tells her that somewhere between the ranch and the church, they'll have to figure out a way to get away. As Diana goes back to her room, Vance sees her leave Paladin's room.

Later, B.G. has dinner with Paladin. B.G. says that Diana isn't feeling well, and insists that Paladin call Diana "Lady Coulter". He explains that he plans to breed a strong bloodline, and Paladin asks him what Diana thinks of his intentions. B.G. figures that Diana wouldn't turn down a proposal from a real man, and reminds Paladin that he's only there on BG.s sufferance. He tells Paladin that if Diana wants to talk to Paladin, she'll send for him. Diana comes in and apologizes for their poor wedding festivities, and B.G. insists that there's nothing poor about them. She excuses herself to go and rest, and B.G. tells Paladin that Diana just needs to be taught her place.

Later, Paladin meets with Diana and warns that if she moves too soon or too late, they'll end up dead. They kiss and then Paladin leaves. Vance sees them and reports to B.G., drinks, and says that it didn't seem like they were saying much. B.G. angrily says that he thought Paladin was a friend of Diana's family, and Vance is surprised that BG. wants to marry Diana. The rancher takes out a sword, and recites the moto: "Evil to him who evil thinks". He tells Vance that he's founding a dynasty and he has to marry a lady so that his great great grandchildren will know the motto.

The next day, Diana gets into the carriage to go to the church. B.G. asks her if she has any last-minute regrets, and then says that she's getting a good man and wouldn't have any. The carriage goes to the church, and B.G. and his men escort it. Paladin rides with them, and tips Diana a signal. He rides to the carriage, and Diana leaps onto Paladin's horse and they ride off. B.G. tells his men to hold their fire in case they hit Diana.

Paladin and Diana take up a position in the rocks, and Vance moves forward and takes cover. Paladin fires at him, and Vance quickly runs back. The gunfighter warns Diana that it's a stalemate and it's going to be a long afternoon. Vance warns B.G. that the men will start thinking that B.G. is too old to keep a woman. Meanwhile, Diana tells Paladin that she feels sorry for B.G. because he was made to look foolish. Unimpressed, Paladin says that he's counting on B.G. pride to get them out of the situation alive. She figures that Paladin won't change his way for anyone, and Paladin says that if he could, she'd be all the reason he needs.

B.G. tells Vance to have the men keep them pinned down. He says that they'll wait as long as they need to, and insists that Diana is a lady. B.G. tells Vance that he forgives Diana, and just wants to make Paladin pay. Vance continues to rub it in, suggesting that Paladin and Diana are kissing. B.G. takes a rifle and walks up the hill by himself. Paladin tells Diana that he'll decide whether he'll kill a man, and asks B.G. if he's willing to fight for Diana one-on-one. B.G. tells his men to stand down, and says that they'll fight with sabers.

Diana ties her handkerchief around Paladin's arm as a sign of her favor, and kisses him. Vance sees them and asks B.G. if she'll keep her end of the bargain. Undeterred, B.G. has a second saber brought forward and gives it to Paladin, and the two men fight. Meanwhile, Vance sneaks behind Diana and grabs her. As he drags her away, Paladin hits B.G. in the arm. B.G. gives Paladin a rifle, and tells Paladin to take Diana and get her out of his sight. Paladin shoots and kills Vance, and goes to Diana. They kiss, and B.G. tells his men to mount up. Maria looks at his arm and expresses her concern. Meanwhile, Paladin asks Diana to consult him before she takes any more tutoring jobs. She agrees... as long as Paladin makes himself available for consultation.

Written by Gadfly on May 27, 2018

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