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The Island Family Recap

Declan golf-claps and congratulates the survivors on putting on a show. As the survivors watch from inside the main house, Declan tells them that if they come out then he'll spare one of their lives. If they stay inside hiding like cowards, he will kill them all. Brewster interrupts to say that he has to go, and Peabody and Errol agree. Declan gives them ten minutes and yells to the survivors that they have ten minutes.

Inside, Jess suggests that they surrender. Steve warns that the Hunters will kill them all no matter what. Danny figures that it's over, but Owen promises that they'll get out of it together because they're family. When Danny points out that Owen said they weren't and they're not family, Owen says that his last name is "Island" just like all of them. None of them get it, and Owen says that he picked a name that would all unify them because they crashed on an island. He explains that they're all like a family after everything that they've gone through, and Danny says that he's Danny Island. The others eventually agree, and Bruce reveals that his last name is "Island". Steve changes his name to "Stewart Island", and Pack falls out from where he's been hiding and says that his name is Pack Island. He tells them that he's ready to fight and Steve asks what the plan is. Owen asks Danny if he has any crazy ideas, and Danny says that they need to make booby traps.

The survivors create as many booby traps as they can and Danny tells them to think about their quip as they go in for the kill. Everybody is too busy preparing to listen to him.

Once the Hunters finish their personal business, Declan leads them in. They split up and Peabody spots a trail of blood. He follows it to the vents, and Florence and Jess throw a tapestry over him and knock him unconscious.

Pack gets behind Brewster with a knife, jumps out, and throws it. He hits the wall, and Brewster greets "Half Pint" by his nickname. He shoots and Pack runs off, and the Hunter goes after him.

Declan searches the rooms and finds cooking oil on the study floor. He steps over it and hears Bruce coughing, and shoots him through the chair that he's hiding behind.

Danny sets up a trap with string and marbles. Owen wonders if it will work, and Danny explains that the Hunter will slip on the marbles, hit the trip wire that drops a bucket of syrup into a fan, which will spray the syrup and feathers into Hunter, and he'll fall out the window to his death. Owen is less than optimistic about the trap working. They hear Errol coming and Danny peers out and gives him the finger. Owen and Danny hide in the closet, and Errol comes in. They hear Errol slip on the marbles but nothing else. They go out and discover that Errol cracked his skull open.

A guard finds Todd lighting a cigarette. He lights a "molo-todd cocktail" and throws it out the guard, who falls out the window in flames.

Florence and Jess continue trying to knock Peabody out. He breaks free, grabs Jess' staff, knocks her to the floor, and draws his knife. Florence grabs his gun and says that she'll shoot him, and Peabody reminds her that she's a Vegan and respects all life. After a minute, Florence says that she's a hypocrite and shoots him dead, and then complains when the blood gets all over her.

Brewster chases Pack into the kitchen, and says that he's hiding like a little bitch. Pack jumps out and attacks him with a trout. Brewster counter-attacks and knocks Pack down, then grabs his gun. He tells Pack to do his doggy bark one last time. Pack refuses, saying that he's not a dog, and Karen shoots Brewster with a crossbow that she found. Pack congratulates Karen.

Declan finds Errol's body outside and hears gunshots. He goes inside and finds the other Hunters and guards dead. He locks himself in his study, but Steve is waiting with Declan's elephant gun.

Jess and Florence move through the house and hear someone inside a room. They kick their way in and Florence opens fire on someone behind the bar. She finally runs out of ammo, and Todd stands up and complains. Jess runs to hug her husband, and Karen, Todd, Danny, and Owen arrive. Declan brings Steve in with a gun to his head, and Steve says that the elephant gun he took was decorative. Declan says that he's going to fly away in his helicopter and warns that if anyone tries to stop him, he'll kill Steve.

The survivors go after Declan and Owen says that they can figure things out. Declan says that they can't and Steve grabs the chess piece he stole, says, "Chessmate", and stabs Declan in the eye. He then kicks Declan through a railing and the millionaire falls to his death. Everyone cheers and Todd wonders how they get home. Karen asks if anyone knows how to fly a helicopter, and a wounded Bruce walks up and says that he can.

The next morning, the survivors go to Declan's helicopter and hear the helicopter lifting off. They run to the helipad and see Chet in the cockpit. He bids them aloha and says that they'll put him in jail if they get back. Chet says that he's a survivor, but no one can hear him over the engine. He gives them the finger and lifts off, and manages to fly off into the distance.

A long time later, a bearded Danny and Owen walk up a hill. They power up a generator and try to send out a SOS while arguing about Michael Jackson. Much to their surprise, a woman responds on the radio and Owen says that they're there.

Written by Gadfly on Oct 3, 2018

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