The three vampires and Guillermo walk to an address to get virgins. Guillermo has managed to find a group of LARPers with a high percentage of virgins.
Jenna says that they know what they do isn't reality. One of her fellow players says that it is.
The vampires watch through the window and Nadja says that the virgins will taste too sad. She dismisses them as a bowl of rotten fruit, and the others leave. Nadja tells Jenna to be strong as the other LARPers humiliate her, and promises that she will have revenge one day.
The vampires note that the baron has tasked them with conquering the New World, and they complain that Afanas gives orders while having sex.
Nandor holds Guillermo up so that he can dust, and Afanas's familiar creeps around the house listening to everything that they say. Nandor complains that she's worse than Guillermo, while holding up Guillermo. Later, Nandor calls a secret meeting in the "fancy room". They argue about whether Afanas wants them to conquer the New World or North America, and they suggest ways to conquer the continent. Colin is eavesdropping and comes in, and asks if he can join. Nadja claims that they're planning his surprise party, and he points out that it's not much of a surprise now. He wants to know what's really going on, and Nadja explains that Afanas wants them to take over the New World, and Colin says that they should talk to the local leaders and he can help them.
Colin takes the vampires on the bus. They'd rather fly ahead but Colin likes riding the bus. The vampires get bored of his explanation and fly off, but end up riding on the top since they don't know the address.
At the Staten Island council meeting, the vampires watch and Colin says that it's wonderful and he comes there for the banality and despair. He goes to the podium for a "mega-feed" and starts talking about ordinances.
The vampires discuss their plans to conquer the city, including no noise during daylight, the destruction of crucifixes, free but compulsory harpsicord concerts, and a vampire-only television channel,
Colin wraps up by promising to finish his speech the next week. The president, Barbara Lazarro, then calls Nandor up. He demands their complete and total supplication of the council to him. The council is less than impressed, and Barbara says that it's about zoning ordinances and he can return in two months.
Laszlo describes Nandor as uneducated.
Afterward, the vampires conclude that Barbara is the most powerful member of the group. Laszlo suggests that they use her rival Doug Peterson as a pawn and he'll visit Barbara by night.
Nadja slips away and approaches Jenna, knowing what it feels like to be a woman and not get respect. She suggests that they talk about Jenna's future.
Laszlo goes to Barbara's house and knocks at the front door. He introduces himself and finds her watching her granddaughter for the night. Laszlo warns her not to trust those who she trusts, and offers to eliminate her rival. Barbara assumes that he's talking about the raccoons in her garbage, and tells him to call her office in the morning. Laszlo insists that he's ending the conversation and hypnotizes her to not remember their conversation.
Laszlo figures that making Doug his pawn is the power move.
Nandor flies to Doug and says that he's led around by Barbara. Doug figures that he's a mugger, and Nandor hypnotizes him to obey him.
Nadja tells Jenna to unleash the power so that she can seduce men and women. Jenna says that she has a boyfriend and they do things on camera. She figures that Nadja wants to take her on a sexual journey, and Nadja assures her that she's a "senior". Jenna warns that she's a virgin and wants to stuff with "mouth stuff", and Nadja bites her on the neck and tells her to shut up.
Laszlo figures that Barbara is demanding proof that he's serious, so he attacks one of the raccoons in her garbage. It bites him so he summons all of the raccoons in the area.
Nandor calls to Doug through the ether and makes contact with him.
Nadja has Nanda drink her blood from a vial and then disappears.
The next morning, Barbara finds a pile of raccoons on her porch and runs away, screaming. At the next council meeting, she figures that it's a gang threat. Laszlo tells her that he left them as a gift, but she ignores him. Doug calls her an ignorant bitch and threatens to rip her head from her body. The security guard drags him away and Doug screams that vengeance will be his. Nadja says that she was making a new vampire, much to Guillermo's surprise. Colin is too excited to get up, and the others leave.
In her dorm room, Jenna feels ill. She projectile vomits.
Written by Gadfly on Apr 4, 2019