Search and Rescue Recap

Starr tells God that he had Jesse dead to right, and God says that Starr really wanted to have Jesse suffer so they'll make him suffer. When Starr asks God what he wants, God says that he wants is to know his Child is doing. Starr says that Jesus is going to be there soon, but God wants to know about Humperdoo and how he's doing. The Allfather says that he saw him that morning in high spirits, and God says that Humperdoo is integral to everything. He tells Starr to do his part and he will earn his long-lost reward: a pristine visage. God then says that they're going to carve a vagina into Jesse's soul. Starr wonders what he means, and God says that his Great Design is at work and it's going to be beautiful.

Captain Steve announces over the intercom that they've hit a hitch, and tells Jesse to be calm. God is in a sit nearby and yells in triumph as the plane goes down.

Later in the ocean, Jesse swims to a life raft and gets in with Steve. Jesse calls to the sky, asking God if it's the best He has.

At Masada, Toscani and his men take the captive Cassidy through the hallways to the helipad. Hitler and his people cross their paths on their way to meet with Starr, and Toscani is duly impressed. When he gets to the elevator, he realizes that Cassidy and his men have disappeared. Toscani goes back and finds Cassidy alone on the gurney. Cassidy says that he killed the guards, breaking their necks after picking the lock with an angel's feather. Toscani doesn't believe him, points his gun at Cassidy's head, and advises him to laugh when he can. Cassidy breaks free of the restraints supposedly holding him and beats Toscani down. He continues beating Toscani, clubbing him down with his gun. Toscani tries to crawl away and Cassidy rips open his jacket and bites him.

Afterward, Toscani says that it ain't right. Cassidy slams him down on his own shotgun, blowing off the top of his head. Cassidy then impersonates Toscani's voice on the walkie-talkie, saying the vampire is on his way to the helipad.

On the ocean, a storm comes up and Jesse bails out the water. Steve insists that they're going to die, but Jesse says that they won't and Hitler was wrong. The pilot points out that they're lost at sea with no transponder, but Jesse tells him that they have to stay positive. He insists that they're going to get to Australia one way or another and tells Steve to stop whining. Jesse uses the voice to tell him to be positive, and the pilot starts bailing.

As Cassidy takes the elevator, he runs into Tulip. Lara draws a gun on Cassidy, not seeing Tulip in the elevator, and asks the vampire where Tulip is. Cassidy stalls and wonders why Tulip would come to save her. More Grail guards arrive, and the elevator doors close. Cassidy tells Lara that he hasn't seen Tulip, and Lara orders her men to lock Cassidy up and clean up Toscani.

Tulip comes out of the elevator a minute later, gun drawn, and Hoover Two tells her to come with him. She has no choice but to do so rather than attract attention.

Lara and her men lock Cassidy back up in his cell, and she hits Cassidy in the stomach before leaving. She goes out, locks the door, and tells her men that now they wait for Tulip.

Cassidy tells the Archangel that Tulip came back for him, and figures that she's going to keep coming back. The Archangel wonders what the problem is with that.

Hoover Two tells Tulip that the Emissary needs a personal valet. As they go in, Tulip claims that she has work to do in the prison area and suggests that she go down and sort it out first. Hoover Two tells her that the man in the room will bring about their plan at the summit between Heaven and Hell, and warns that refusing the honor would be treasonous.

Tulip and Hoover Two go into the Emissary Suite and advises her to respond positively if the Emissary touches her. Once Hoover Two leaves, Tulip checks the hallway outside and sees guards. She goes back into the suite and checks the windows, and Jesus Christ comes out of the shower and greets her.

Cassidy tries to pull his manacles out of the wall without success, and the Archangel talks about flying free and bringing food to his infants. He asks if Cassidy's girlfriend is coming, and Cassidy insists that Tulip is Jesse's girlfriend. He explains that Lara and the others know that Tulip is coming, and when she gets there they'll kill her. The Archangel points out that Cassidy is setting the trap that will get her killed, and Cassidy says that he's going to break free and then kill the Archangel.

The next day, Steve looks at the sun as Jesse checks their supplies. His legs are badly bleeding, and Jesse looks for medical supplies. Steve is still positive, and Jesse finally Voices him to stop being positive. The pilot screams in pain until Jesse Voices him not to feel pain. Steve figures that they're going to die, and Jesse tells him that the whole thing is just a test from God. Jesse says that God wants to see what they're made of and they're going to show him. Steve wonders if he doesn't believe in God, and Jesse tells him that he doesn't need to believe in Him as long as he believes in Jesse. The pilot agrees and chuckles.

Jesus looks over Tulip and confirms that she's going to be his valet, and Tulip agrees. He introduces himself and they shake hands, and then Jesus tells her that she's in trouble. There's a knock at the door, and Jesus has her answer the door. It's Starr, who steps in without noticing Tulip. Starr bows before Jesus and says that Masada is at his disposal and Hitler has arrived. He assures Jesus that he doesn't have to concern himself about his ear and sees Tulip. Starr says that her face is familiar. Before Tulip can draw her gun, Jesus asks when he gets to see Humperdoo. Distracted, Starr tells him that they'll meet when the time is right. Once he leaves, Jesus points out that Tulip is in trouble.

Hoover Two prepares the summit conference room. Starr comes in and asks Hoover Two how they're going with the clone replacement. He insists that no one can know that they lost Humperdoo, and Hoover Two says that they'll have a replacement. Hoover Two tells Star that he's noticed that Starr is languid, and says that Starr is still the Allfather and the power of the Grail is at his fingertips. He assures Starr that he's sitting pretty and leaves the room. Once he's alone, Starr looks at the presentation packet on the 2020 Apocalypse. The foreskin on his ear falls onto the packet, onto a photo of Jesse.

Jesse sets up a makeshift sale and figures that all they need is wind. A wind comes up and Jesse laughs in triumph. He steers the life raft and Jesse talks about how Tulip taught him to build a sale. They realize that Steve's hand is gone, bitten off by a shark. Steve didn't feel it because Jesse Voiced him not to feel pain. As Jesse tourniquets the wound, the sail blows off the raft. Angry, Jesse tells God that it's between the two of them and Steve is going to die. Steve wonders what God said, and Jesse tells him that God said "Soon".

Tulip apologizes to Jesus for lying earlier and gives him her real name. She's sorry that she got him involved in his stuff and starts to go. Jesus offers to help her rescue her friend, and Tulip points out that things are going to get violent and possibly deadly. She doesn't think that he can help, but Jesus says that they'll see.

Lara and her guards wait for Tulip to arrive, and one guard complains that he has to go to the bathroom. She finally turns and kills a guard, and then hears someone coming. It's Jesus, and Lara and her men bow to him. Jesus says that he's there to bless the prisoners, and Lara suggests that she take him to one of their other prisoners. He insists on blessing the prisoners there and Lara claims that there are no prisoners there. Cassidy yells, and Lara tells Jesus that she can't let him in. Jesus tells her that she can do anything she wants as long as she lets him past. Lara tells him that it's not going to happen.

Jesus returns to the suite and tells Emma that it didn't work.

Cassidy finally all but rips off his hands freeing himself. He climbs up to the Archangel and bites him, and then falls to the floor below. The Angel reincarnates outside the cell door and comes in, embraces Cassidy, and flies out.

Steve talks about how he thought he'd die, and says that he should have had more sex with strangers. He says that he's ready for the test to be over, and admits that he's done a lot of bad things. Jesse figures that Jesse is God and begs him to save him, and Jesse Voices him to "live". Steve feels the power, tells Jesse that he lied, and dies.

Tulip and Jesus go to the prison, and Jesus warns that it's a trap and it's madness. Guards come down the hallway and Tulip hides. Jesus tells her to worship him by kneeling and steps out. Tulip does so as the soldiers approach. Lara arrives as the soldiers kneel, and orders them up. They go with her and Tulip asks the man at the end what happened. He says that the prisoner escaped.

Jesus and Tulip go to the cell and Tulip says that now they'll go find Cassidy. Then she'll do whatever the hell she wants. Jesus asks if he can come.

Jesse wraps Steve's body in a sheet and places it in the ocean. He says a eulogy and sharks eat the body. Disgusted, Jesse tells God that he's an asshole. Jesse hears laughter and sees the Australian beach a hundred yards away.

Hitler approaches a guard and gives him his Luger in return for seeing the prisoner. Inside is Humperdoo, and Hitler stares at the clone in shock. Hitler goes to a piano and plays, and watches Humperdoo dance.

The Saint and Eugene reach the Gulf of Mexico, and Eugene confirms that the Saint can hear Jesse using the Voice in Australia. The Saint draws his gun blows on the hammer until it's red hot, and then shoots at the water. The bullet heads to Australia.

An Australian is surprised to see a hole open up in the beach. The Saint shoots him in the head and walks off, and Eugene climbs out of the whole and goes after the Saint past the life raft.

Written by Gadfly on Aug 19, 2019

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