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So You Need a Crew? Recap

Harley robs a Russian train in transit, and the KGBeast attacks her. She defeats him but is unable to trigger both locks on the door leading to the nuclear warhead. Harley finally manages to trigger both of them, only to discover a third one. Joker to blast his way in with his goons and have them trigger all three locks. Harley complains that Joker is taking away her heist, and he has his goons toss Harley out.

Later, Harley returns to Ivy's apartment and figures that she needs a crew. Once Harley showers, she says that she could have used Ivy's help. Ivy figures that crews are overrated, noting that Dr. Psycho takes on Wonder Woman solo. Psycho is fighting Wonder Woman on the street, and calls her a "cow". As everyone takes offense, Harley figures that if Psycho had a crew then they would have told him to use the B word instead. If she had a crew, she would have got the warhead and blackmailed Gotham into naming a highway after her.

Harley goes to Underworld Talent, Inc. and two PR men come out with Psycho, assuring him the whole "cow" thing will blow over. The PR men then sit down with Harley and try to find a crew for her. Harley wants to take them all, but the PR men realize she's no longer with Joker and say that the henchmen are unavailable forever. Furious, Harley says that she'll put together her own crew.

That night, Harley goes to a seedy bar, Noonan's, and offers top dollar and great benefits to anyone who will work for her. They all refuse, and Psycho is there and tells Harley that he won't work for her. The Southern bartender reveals that he's Clayface. As he and Psycho fight, Kite Man arrives looking for henchmen. They all join with him, and Harley goes back to the apartment to tell Ivy what happened. Ivy wonders if Kite Man mentioned her. Harley figures that someone might provide some trade secrets.

Maxie Zeus is holding a "You Want to be a Supervillain" seminar, and Harley and Ivy are in the audience. The villain says that a supervillain has henchmen and they can find them at talent agencies and bars. Harley speaks up, saying that she tried them, and Maxie tells her that she can't let rejection stop her. Ivy goes home, and Harley goes backstage to talk to Maxie. He this on her and she figures he's a creepy dick. Maxie says that she was laughed out of UTI and will never get a crew because no bad guy will never work for a woman. Harley figures that maybe she doesn't need a bad "guy".

Back at the apartment, Harley tries to recruit Ivy. Ivy refuses to muddle her brand, but finally tells Harley that they're only tolerated as long as they don't get too powerful. Frank has Ivy tell the story of the Queen of Fables, She got tired of male supervillains upstaging her and turned Gotham into an evil forest with storybook characters. Now the Queen does taxes. Harley goes to her office and discovers that the Queen was turned into a talking book. The Queen explains that the heroes showed up, defeated her crew, and had Zatanna cast a spell to trap the Queen in a tax guide. Harley realizes that no matter how big a female supervillain gets, and the Queen says that maybe Harley's story will turn out differently.

Harley returns to the apartment and admits that the Queen was pretty bleak. Ivy says that she knows Harley can do it, but wanted her to know what she's up against because she loves her. Harley figures that she needs to find scumbags that no one else believes in, and tunes into a talk show where Psycho is going to apologize for using the C word. Psycho insists that he respects women, and Giganta takes offense when Psycho talks for her. She complains that Psycho has been manipulating her for years and walks off, and Psycho uses the C word on her. Harley figures that since Psycho is unemployable, she can hire him.

That night, Harley approaches Psycho at Noonan's and suggests he join her crew. Psycho says that he's in the Legion of Doom, just as a press conference from the Legion of Doom comes on the TV. Lex Luthor banishes Psycho from the Legion because they don't endorse the C word, and Psycho accepts Harley's offer. Harley tells Psycho that she believes in him, and Clayface figures he's got a "part" to play with them as well. She suggests that they go on a petty personal vendetta, and go to steal Maxie's Olympic gold medals that he stole.

Harley tells Clayface to shapeshift into a mailman and distract Maxie while she and Psycho rob the villain blind. Clayface preps for his role, and goes in claiming that he's Maxie's son. Maxie falls for it, and Harley tells Psycho to crawl into a vent and open the door from the inside. He's the only one small enough to go in and complains about how humiliated he is.

Maxie and Clayface bond, and Harley and Psycho find Maxie's medals beneath his bed. Meanwhile, Maxie begins to realize Clayface is a fake. When they go out, they discover that Clayface has shapeshifted to look like Maxie's description of his "mother": with a hunchback, peg leg, and a lisp. Maxie accuses Clayface of lying to him and demands to know who he works for while beating him. Harley finally speaks up, saying that Clayface works for her. Maxie prepares to crush Clayface with a statue, and Psycho telekinetically moves Clayface out of the way.

Harley confronts Maxie, who dismisses her crew as a midget and a mudslide. She demands that he say her crew is nothing to fuck with, and Psycho beats Maxie telekinetically until he agrees... and Harley hits him out the doors.

The next day, the news reports on how Maxie was found beaten. He says that Harley's crew is nothing to fuck with, and the reporter Tawny says that Harley is striking out on her own. Harley and Ivy are watching, and Ivy is amazed that Harley actually succeeded. The Queen is watching and is amazed that Harley is going for it. Joker is watching and shoots the TV. Meanwhile, Harley tells Ivy that she traded the medals for a nuclear warhead and used it to blackmail Gotham into naming a highway after her.

Written by Gadfly on Dec 14, 2019

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