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Bury Me with My Guns On Recap

At the saloon, Wynonna is drinking, dancing, and hitting on guys after killing the last of the Seven. She has a brief flashback of Reggie and snaps out of it, and then goes back to drinking. When one guy demands a kiss, Doc tells him to back off and draws a knife on the guy to “persuade” him. Wynonna runs to the restroom to throw up, and then tells Doc that she thought she’d be different once the Seven who killed Willa were dead. She wonders what Wyatt did to mess up his line so bad with the curse, and wonders if it’s better to be bad.

At the camp, the revenants are bored guarding the bones. As they laugh, Constance shows up and guns them down.

The next morning, Wynonna shows up bright and early for work. She tells Xavier that for the first time in a while she’s woken up and knows what she needs to do: find some more revenants to kill. Xavier tells her that the Black Badge head office wants a psychological evaluation from her, and sends her to meet with the analyst. As the analyst monitors the truth of her response, Wynonna insists that she’s fine. Xavier watches as the analyst asks when the last time Wynonna had sexual intercourse. When Wynonna says that she doesn’t remember, the analyst points out that a young woman with the Banditos planted a bomb, and Wynonna ran with the gang. She then asks if Wynonna considers herself a murderer.

Afterward, Wynonna complains that Xavier just watched. He says that it would have just made her look worse, and assures her that she’s not alone. Wynonna asks Xavier to say that he cares about her just once, but he doesn’t say anything and she walks away. As she goes, Xavier tells her that she failed the assessment and she’s suspended until further notice.

Later at the Saloon, a lawyer makes an offer on the building to Gus. Waverly watches as Gus realizes that the buyer might want to tear it down. Meanwhile, a guy, Pete, comes up and tells Waverly that Champ never treated her right, and Waverly cuts him off and makes it clear that she’s not interested. Wynonna shows up and snaps at Pete, and tells him to move. Waverly tells Wynonna about the offer, and Wynonna realizes the man making the offer is a revenant. She assures Waverly that no one is going to take anything from her again, and follows the lawyer into the restroom. She draws the Peacemaker on him and he has no idea what she’s talking about when she demands to see his brand. The man pisses himself and Waverly realizes that he’s a human.

Constance takes the bones to her motel room and tries to make one complete skeleton out of the two sets. She casts a spell to reassemble one of them, and then collapses from the effort. The skeleton fleshes out into her son Drek, who gets up and gets dressed. Drek screams at her and Constance realizes that he’s hideously deformed, and says “Mama” when he gets a good look on her. He calls to his brother, and Constance says that it wasn’t her fault. Drek vows to kill the man responsible, but Constance refuses to put him at risk and lose him again. When he sees himself in the mirror, Drek screams in pain and Constance says that she’ll fix it once her magic is restored. She tells Drek that she has to go and gets him dressed, and notices a man looking in the window.

Wynonna goes to Doc’s house to complain, and she complains about how the analyst said she was a murderer. Doc warns her that Xavier is a liar and a hypocrite, and Wynonna explains that she almost killed a human earlier. She says that she wanted to kill something, and Doc tells her that taking life is a dangerous addiction. Wynonna wonders what she is, and Doc tells her that she’s Wynonna. With that, Wynonna kisses Doc for a minute until he pushes her away and says that it’s not the best idea. She reminds him that he’s the one who said she should blow off steam, and they start to undress. Doc winces in pain as Wynonna brushes his shoulder wound, and they have sex.

Nicole files her repeat with Neadley, who insists that she was attacked by a supernatural creature. Neadley doesn’t believe it, but Nicole insists that it’s the truth. He figures that she’s stressed by her recent kidnapping, and suggests that she resigns if she thinks that Purgatory is anything other than a normal small town. Nicole says that she likes it there and agrees to rewrite the report. Once she’s gone, Neadley takes the report out of the garbage and rereads it.

As Nicole leaves the station, she almost bumps into Nicole. Nicole asks if something is going on, and Waverly assumes that she’s talking about a relationship. The deputy figures that Waverly is making fun of her and walks off.

That night, Constance drives to the county line and finds Bobo and his men, armed with flamethrowers. He stops the car with a gesture and Constance gets out to confront him. Bobo knows that she shot his men, and one of them dumps out the remaining bones for the second skeleton. Drek gets out of the trunk of the car, and Constance tries to calm him down. Constance says that she’s done with Purgatory, and a furious Bobo says that wasn’t part of the deal. He tells her that she has one chance left, and prepares to have her shot. Constance says that she doesn’t have it, and it’s somewhere in the triangle. Drek screams and the revenants clutch at their heads in pain. Bobo grabs a fire extinguisher and torches the bones, and flames consume Drek as well as Constance sobs in horror.

In Bed, Doc hesitates and then tells Wynonna that he can feel Constance’s emotional agony. He figure she can trace the feeling back and asks Wynonna for her help. As Wynonna gets dressed, she warns that it could be a trap. Doc instance that Constance will die, and Wynonna reminds him that if Constance dies then he dies. Xavier calls her and Wynonna tells Doc that she has a plan to get Constance... and then turns to discover that he’s gone.

Neadley calls Xavier into his office and pours him a drink, and finally says that he figures Xavier came to Purgatory to investigate the paranormal. Xavier advises him to keep it secret, but Neadley says that he almost lost a deputy and he doesn’t want to have to replace her. He tosses out a file on Bobo and his friends, and says that Bobo has some powerful friends in town. Neadley suggests that they work together on some cases on a case-by-case basis, and Xavier vaguely agrees. The sheriff invites him over to the Saloon and suggests Xavier join him to better fit in.

Waverly is walking on the road when Nicole pulls up to her and suggests that she get in the car. Once Waverly does, they pull over and Nicole apologizes for being a jerk earlier. Waverly says that Gus is selling the saloon and everything is changing too fast, and Nicole takes her hand and assures her it’s going to be okay. She says that Waverly is dating too many idiots, and says that she’d never ask Waverly to be someone she isn’t. Waverly agrees but says that they could just be friends, and an exasperated Nicole drives back to Purgatory.

Doc finds Constance by the county line, sitting next to her car. She begs him for help getting her across the line and she’ll give him anything he wants. Bobo and his men step out and Doc figures that it’s a trap, and Constance says that Bobo is tricking Doc. Bobo says that he realized Doc and Constance are connected, just as Wynonna steps out with the Peacemaker. She tells Bobo to make his peace, but Doc draws his gun on her and says that he’ll shoot it out of her hand if she tries to shoot. Wynonna bluffs, saying that Xavier and Neadley are nearby with a sniper rifle, but Doc calls her on it and tells her to holster the Peacemaker.

Bobo tells his men to lower their guns and Doc aims at him, reminding him that he promised him Constance. The head revenant points out that Doc betrayed him, but Doc reminds the other revenants that Bobo promised that they’d escape but it hasn’t happened. He suggests if Bobo would break one promise, he might break another. Bobo realizes that his men are doubtful, and after a moment he smiles and says that Constance is all Doc’s. Doc says that he’s satisfied as long as he and Wynonna have safe passage, and Bobo agrees. As he heads out and tells Wynonna to do the same, Bobo gets a call and says that he has another deal pending. He promises Wynonna that he’ll have a special surprise for her and goes with his men.

At the saloon, Neadley tells Xavier that now they socialize. Waverly confronts Gus, who says that decisions had to be made and Waverly has a better future than small-town waitress. She assures her that the saloon will never get torn down and Waverly never has to quit. However, she hands Waverly a check and says that now she can live her life. Gus tells her to be honest and to not stop, and walks off. One of Bobo’s men, Peeper, comes in and tells Waverly that he has a message for Wynonna. When he learns that Wynonna isn’t there, Peeper settles down to wait.

Doc and Wynonna take Constance to a barn and Doc takes out his knife. Constance sees it and starts chanting, and the knife flies at Wynonna. Wynonna manages to block it and knocks Constance down, and then throws salt on her. Doc ties Constance with gallows silk soaked in her own blood, binding her, Wynonna complains that she could have shot Bobo, but Doc tells her she would have been dead before she could take it. Furious, Wynonna tells Doc that he’s nothing like Wyatt. Doc doesn’t care, calling her a broken woman and Wynonna punches him, Constance laughs and asks how many Earps Doc can fail, and he prepares to shoot her. The Stone Witch tells Wynonna that she knows how she was cursed, and offers to explain if Wynonna keeps her alive. Wynonna aims the Peacemaker at Doc and says that she can make a deal.

Once Wynonna frees Constance, she demands answers. Constance says that her demon husband made the deal: revenge for the death of their boys. She wanted her own revenge on Wyatt so she went after what Wyatt loved: Doc. Doc doesn’t believe her, insisting that she tricked him, but Constance says that once Wyatt learned what had happened, he was heartbroken. Then she tossed Doc down a well so that Wyatt couldn’t find him if he had a change of heart. Constance tells Doc that it has always been about Wyatt, not him, and he’ll never be a hero. When Doc prepares to kill Constance, Wynonna stops him, reminding him that he’ll die to. Doc doesn’t care, but Wynonna says that he could make Constance’s suffering last. Intrigued, Doc asks if she has a better idea and Wynonna says that she does.

Doc and Wynonna tie Constance up, toss her in the back of his truck, and take her out to a salt flat. Constance offers to help them get to Bobo, but Wynonna hands Doc a shovel and says that she’ll bury Constance so Doc isn’t affected by their bond.

Waverly goes to Neadley’s office, confirms with Nicole that Neadley isn’t there, and then closes the blinds. When Nicole comes over, Waverly kisses her and throws her back on the couch. Nicole reminds her that she said that she wanted to just be friends, and Waverly explains that she always wanted to do things that scared her. The thing that she wants scares her to death, and Waverly admits that Nicole scares her because she wants to be with her. Nicole assures her that she’s doing fine and pulls her into a kiss.

Once Doc digs the hole, Wynonna buries Constance up to her neck. Pleading for her freedom, Constance says that there’s one thing Bobo will never stop searching for: the thing he needs to escape the curse. Unimpressed, they go back to the truck and Doc thanks Wynonna for his life. He offers to buy her a drink, but Wynonna gets another text from Xavier and she says that she has to get back. She asks for a rain check and assures Doc that Constance will be alone forever. They drive off as Constance screams for them to come back.

At the station, Xavier tells Wynonna that she passed the exam with flying colors. He says that she’s a good deputy and gives her the badge back. Xavier then shows her the gift he got her: Peeper, tied up. Wynonna draws the Peacemaker and ungags Peeper, who says that it’s his honor to give Wynonna Bobo’s message even though she’s going to kill him. He tells her that Bobo bought the saloon, and Wynonna kills him.

Bobo and his men swagger into the saloon and Bobo says that it’s theirs now, and what it holds will aid in their eternal salvation... and Wynonna’s final damnation. The revenants cheer and start drinking.

Written by Gadfly on May 28, 2016

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