A bus pulls up to a stop and a man in a hoodie gets out. He goes into a coffee cafe, takes out his computer equipment, and hacks a cheating website.
At Meet'n'Cheat, owner Garth Tweedner shares a toast with his employees for hitting their one-millionth cheat. The counter hits one million, and the hacker hijacks their computers and shuts down their server.
Pritkin tells Jay and Angie that Meet'n'Cheat's server has been hacked and the hacker is threatening to release the names and identities of all the cheaters unless it's shut down. Angie figures that they should just let the info go public rather than help cheaters, but Pritkin insists that the law is the law. He then introduces Special Agent Diane Duran, a tech expert with the FBI. Diane comes in and sets up at a desk, and suggests that the detectives talk to Garth while she sets up her equipment.
At Meet'n'Cheat, Angie wonders how Garth lives with himself. He assures her that he does so just fine, but Angie isn't impressed. Garth admits that he stole the Meet'n'Cheat idea from twins Ned and Ted Doppelganger. The detectives visit them at the school where they teach. The brothers aren't happy with Garth, but insist that they'd go after him face-to-face. They're also busy setting up a fresh-fruit delivery system. The brothers suggest that the hacker will have a distinctive signature.
Back at the station, Diane is running a trace on the hack and cooking pasta. The hacker hacks the station computers, and Pritkin is soon updating Mayor Perry. Perry tells Pritkin to give the hacker whatever he wants and make the whole thing go away, warning that there are government employees who use Meet'n'Cheat... including himself.
Jay and Danny go to a hacker that Danny knows: Cedric the Programmer. Cedric lets them in and Danny whispers to Jay that Cedric has memory problems. The programmer knows all about the Meet'n'Cheat hack and says that they're dealing with Mailer Demon. Danny has Cedric send Demon an AOL message.
Soon, Demon agrees to meet Angie in the park. Jay, Danny, and Hoffman are undercover nearby, and Demon is ten minutes late. Three people show up wearing Demon masks, and each officer goes after one. They realize that Demon has sent dozens of people into the park wearing his mask, but Angie spots the real one and he runs. She tells Demon to freeze, and the hacker removes his mask to reveal that it's... Diane. She makes good her escape and disappears.
Later at the station, Angie and the others tell Pritkin what they've learned. Pritkin locks down the case to just the four of them, and orders them to find out who Diane really is. Soon, Angie hits the streets with a digital implant, and Monica monitors what she sees. Jay is posing as a window cleaner, and Danny is moving slow because he ended up with an astronaut suit.
Diane gets off a nearby bus and Angie follows her to a building. Monica confirms that it belongs to Mayhem Global, and Angie figures that they hired Diane to hack Meet'n'Cheat and then the police server, but doesn't know why. Meanwhile, Danny poses as a deliveryman and takes a package in, and then drugs the guard unconscious. Angie comes in and Danny gives her a pass card, and she goes to the server room. Monica finds the key code for the elevator, while Jay climbs up the side of the building.
Angie uses a universal finger to get into the server room and loads monitoring software into the computers. Monica detects someone coming and warns Angie, just as Diane comes in aiming a gun at Angie. She says that there's a bigger picture and Angie will be a part of it, just as Jay arrives at the window and promptly falls. Angie jumps the distracted Diane, but Diane easily knocks her down and says that she's her better in every way. When Angie calls for backup, saying that Diane is too much woman for her, Monica tells Angie that Jay is in love with her because she's a strong woman. Angie concentrates and dons her Kick-Ass Ensemble from the Taking Names Collection. She easily knocks Diane out just as the upload finishes.
Later at the station, Monica activates the spyware and says that Angie did most of the work. Jay admits that he'd be dead if Danny hadn't been driving by with a truck full of mattresses. The Demon icon comes up and all of the information from Meet'n'Cheat uploads from the station's IP address... making it look like they did it. Angie assures Pritkin that Diane is in jail, and someone sends a text message greeting Angie.
Written by Gadfly on Jul 12, 2016