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The Funeral Recap

Tick is giving an eulogy about death.

One week earlier...

At the Panda, Tick is reading about the superhero Immortal. He’s with his friends, and Janet accuses Batmanuel of being jealous of the hero. She says that she’s been escorted to show Immortal around the City. As she goes, Arthur confirms when the booksigning starts. Once she leaves, Arthur insists that Tick not sidetrack them, and explains that Immortal is the reason he decided to become a superhero in the first place.

As he takes a drink, Arthur notices a woman Clarissa staring at him. Batmanuel notices as well and points out Arthur’s interest. He suggests that Arthur ask her out, and Clarissa comes over and asks Arthur if he has the time. Arthur stumbles through a response, and Clarissa quickly walks off as Batmanuel glares at a tongue-tied Arthur.

Janet picks up Immortal and takes him into town in a limo. He’s busy on the phone with the Pope, and finally hangs up. Janet goes over his schedule, and Immortal congratulates her on her career. He says that the UN has asked him to put together an international League of Heroes, and figures that she’d be perfect... and puts his hand on her leg. Janet says that she lives two blocks away and they take a detour.

As they walk down the street, Batmanuel tells Arthur that when it comes to women, he has to seize the day. Janet calls Batmanuel and with bad news: she’s killed Immortal. They go to her apartment and Janet explains that they had sex and Immortal dropped dead. She figures that the government will fire her, and Batmanuel tells her not to blame herself. He says that they’ll drop his body off somewhere, and Arthur goes into shock at the death of his idol. Batmanuel figures that they’ll drop the body off at his hotel room, but Janet points out that Immortal had a book signing in ten minutes. She wonders what clothing size Batmanuel is.

Tick and Arthur put Immortal’s wrapped-up body in the car, and Arthur insists that it’s wrong. His friend figures that they’re saving his image and it’s right. Meanwhile, the limo arrives at the booksigning and Janet introduces “Immortal” to the crowd. Batmanuel changes his mind but she drags him out anyway and leads the crowd in a round of applause. The Latino superhero begins to get into playing the character.

Tick and Arthur drive Batmanuel’s car to Immortal’s hotel. Arthur wants to have a moment of silence, and Tick wonders why Immortal doesn’t mention in his book that he’s dead. His friend explains how death works, and Tick is shocked to learn that everyone dies eventually.

At the booksigning, Batmanuel signs Immortals book. When one of his fans wonders when he grew a goatee, Janet tells them to move it along.

Tick spots Immortal’s room and suggests that he toss the body in. Arthur worries that they’re going to put them away for it, and Tick tosses the body up before Arthur can stop him. Tick misses and the body slams down.

A paralegal serves Batmanuel with a subpoena, warning that his paternity hearing is in a week. Janet is shocked to learn that Immortal slept around. Tick and Arthur come in and tell Janet that they pulled it off and no one saw them. However, she realizes that they left Immortal at the wrong hotel, and angrily tells them to fix their mistake. She then goes back to Batmanuel and whispers to him what’s going on.

At the first hotel, Tick is getting the body when a housekeeper knocks on the door. He runs to the balcony and drops the body into the alley below, and the housekeeper screams when she comes in. The body and then Tick drop down, and Tick gets the body into the car.


Tick continues giving the eulogy.

One week earlier...

Arthur says that his entire world has been turned upside down. He wonders what chance he has, and Tick tells him to buck up. He figures that death is what makes life all the more precious. They drive to the bookstore and pick up Janet and the disguised Batmanuel. A police car pulls up and Arthur slams his foot down on the accelerator. They go to the second hotel and Janet tells Arthur to stay with the body while they check it out. Arthur hallucinates Immortal talking to him and tells him that he has to grab onto life while he’s alive. The others return after confirming that the coast is clear, and Janet has Batmanuel check in to draw attention while she and Tick take the body in, and Arthur keeps the car running. Clarissa comes out and Arthur goes over and says hi.

The trio takes the body to his room, and Janet and Batmanuel start arguing again.

On the street, Clarissa gently kisses Arthur and then says that her friends are waiting. Arthur manages to ask for her phone number, and she gives Arthur a sketch of himself.

Batmanuel steels the complimentary snacks, and Janet points out that they have to put Immortal’s costume back on him. they realize that they forgot to bring Batmanuel’s clothes, and they wrap him In a flag and go back to the car. The police officers are ticketing the car, and Batmanuel says that he’ll take care of it. The officers say that the car has $8,000 in unpaid parking violations and they’re impounding it, and Batmanuel says that he’s not Batmanuel.


The five-star general in attendance lets Tick continue, and the Tick says goodbye to Immortal. He then tells everyone to climb the mountain of life. Touched, everyone applauds.

Written by Gadfly on Jul 30, 2016

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