Jonah and the bots are preparing to celebrate Christmas and try to sing "Good King Wenceslas" without any success. The Mads suck Jonah into the opening credits. Once he's back on the SOL, the Mads call and Kinga insists that her marrying Jonah is more important than Christmas. Synthia tries to hug Kinga without success and returns to her nutrient bank. Jonah presents his invention: the Re-Gifter. It lets the owner re-gift the boxes from other gifts. Kinga and Max present Humbug FM, which turns Christmas songs into an annoying cacophony. They then present The Christmas That Almost Wasn't.
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At the first break, Jonah and the bots review the antiquated toys that Santa produces. The toy soldier fails in the modern era of warfare, and the wooden rocking horse has no motor. Jonah reviews a jack-in-the-box and complains that the music gives away the ending. They figure that it's best to be naughty so that Santa doesn't leave them.
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At the second break, Jonah calls for the Jet Screen and tries to explain the creepy-looking toys in the movie. The bots play along and realize that the toys really are creepy.
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At the third break, Jonah says that he still feels the Christmas spirit. Santa arrives and docks at the airlock, and he tries to distract his Baby Whipple with a rattle. He explains that he has a lot to do on the 364 days that he doesn't deliver presents, and the law stuck him with Whipple. Jonah realizes that Santa is Jewish, and Santa flies off.
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After the movie is over, Everyone recreates the disturbing freeze-framing from the movie. Jonah hands out cheap sweaters to everyone. Max gives Kinga a portrait of herself and she throws it in the garbage, and then gives Max a first aid kit.
Written by Gadfly on May 27, 2017