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Schwanzkopf Recap

The real Humperdoo enters the transfer chamber and stares at himself in the one-way mirror. Jesse tells Allfather that Starr gave him a gun to kill him, and asks Allfather to untie him so he can die on his knees before God. He points out that Allfather has the gun, his guards, and Humperdoo. Allfather has Jesse freed and Jesse stumbles against Allfather, and then drops to his knees and prays. Allfather triggers the transfer device, unaware that Jesse has secretly put it on him. When Allfather drops the guard, Jesse grabs it and shoots the guards. Allfather grabs Jesse and lies on him, crashing the gurney. Jesse shoots Allfather in the side, but Allfather shrugs off the bullets and says that he will have Genesis. Grabbing the syringe with the Louse/Williams genetic mix, Jesse injects it into Allfather and crawls away. He then sticks the transfer device on him, activates the electronic device, and transfers Genesis into Allfather. Genesis causes Allfather to blow up and then it flows back into Jesse.

As they wait at the bus stop, Lara sings a hymn. The Angel of Death finally whips her around the neck and tells her to shut up. The Distant Vistas bus arrives and as everyone gets on, Tulip comes over and asks where they're going with her briefcase. She tells the Angel to give it back, and the Angel tells her who she is. Unimpressed, Tulip dismisses her as Satan's bitch and tells her that she has Marie's souls. The Angel releases Lara and sniffs Tulip, and says that she doesn't like her. Tulip doesn't care, and the driver honks for the Angel to get on the bus. The Angel gives the briefcase to Tulip and says that she'll see her. Tulip takes the case, looks briefly at Lara, and walks off. Lara insists that she's not Tulip and she's a servant of God, and Tulip finally tells the Angel that Lara ain't Tulip.

Eugene sees Tulip and calls to her, and Tulip runs for the car where Jody is waiting. The Angel snares her legs, pulls her down, and Jody grabs the case as the Angel pulls Tulip back and onto the bus. The bus then drives off into the mists.

Eccarius tells Cassidy that they were all dead before he gave them, so he showed them the promise of the vampire life before killing them. Cassidy doesn't buy it, telling Eccarius that he's mental, and figures that Eccarius likes killing. Eccarius admits that he's right and suggests that they try it together, but Cassidy refuses. The vampire says that they're losers, and Cassidy tells him that he's going to tell the Children what Eccarius really is. Eccarius refuses, and Cassidy attacks him. They fight but Eccarius easily keeps ahead of him with his superior speed. He slams Cassidy into a coffin and tells him that he's been looking for someone to accept him despite his flaws, and asks Cassidy to accept him for his flaws. Cassidy says that he'd rather be happy and tells Eccarius to kill him, but Eccarius tells him that it will be worse than that.

Starr returns with Allfather's beignets and is impressed that Jesse took down Allfather. The vial with Jesse's soul falls out of Allfather's entrails, and Jesse and Starr fight to grab it. Jesse finally gets it and takes his soul back, and uses the Voice to order Starr to his knees. He tells Starr that they're done, and Starr says that they still have the Apocalypse to deal with.

Humperdoo is in the corner masturbating, and Starr says that if the Grail is left on its own, they'll have to stop the Apocalypse Allfather's way. He explains that the Grail has infiltrated the world's nuclear arsenals and is ready to unleash the missiles once they release the signal. The Grail will roll out Jesus' descendant Humperdoo, and the world will have the chance to accept him as their Savior...or reject him and face damnation in the coming Apocalypse. The Grail's infiltrators will fire the nuclear missiles and when the music stops, the unbelievers will burn. The believers will survive and follow Humperdoo to a new paradise on Earth.

Starr admits that Allfather was a lunatic and they can only kill the undesirables. With Jesse as Messiah and a few low-yield nuclear devices, they'll have the planet buffed into space in no time. Jesse grabs him by the throat and says that he will never be Starr's Messiah. Starr agrees and says that they'll go to the backup. They look over at Humperdoo, and Jesse says that he won't let Humperdoo become the Messiah. Starr figures that Jesse won't kill him because he's not a cold-blooded murderer. Jesse grabs his gun and tells Starr to stop protesting, then goes into the transfer chamber.

The bus drives through the mists and Tulip grabs the emergency stop lever. It doesn't work, and Eugene asks her if she's going to Hell. She says that she's not supposed to go to Hell, and the lever breaks off. Hitler tells them that he's not surprised that she couldn't escape because no one ever got off without help. Eugene argues with him about how they don't want his help, and the Saint walks past them, sits down with the Angel, and she asks how his back is. Hitler tells Tulip to sit tight, but she refuses.

Jody drives back to Angelville with Lara and points out that Tulip saved her life. Lara doesn't believe it, and figures that Tulip was going to Hell eventually. She wonders what will happen once Marie eats the souls. Jody hits an animal and brakes to a halt, and tells Lara that it will take a while to clean it off of the truck. Lara figures he can handle it on his own and goes to Starr.

Cassidy wakes up in the coffin and climbs out. He goes to the children and says that Eccarius is a maniac, and says that they have to leave. Kevin tells him that he killed FJ, and Cassidy insists that Eccarius killed FJ and all the rest. Eccarius comes in and tells the Children that Cassidy brought the Catholics to the doorstep. He insists that he loves them, and Cassidy hates them almost as much as he hates himself. Eccarius reminds them that Cassidy called them idiots and posers, and says that an example must be made. When one of them comes at him, Cassidy throws him to the ground and Eccarius tells the Children that Cassidy is the maniac and an example must be made as he grabs Cassidy.

Tulip goes to the back, finds the escape hatch, and asks for a tool to pry it loose. Eugene finds a blade on the floor and says that God has a plan, and gives it to Tulip. Hitler complains that they should wait for his lieutenant Rick and his shocktroopers to arrive and rescue them. There's no sign of Rick, and Tulip opens the hatch. She then takes one of Hitler's vest buttons and uses the pin to open their manacles.

The Saint asks the Angel if the girl is with the Preacher or died alone. The Angel says that Satan told her to grab them, and there are no rules now that God is dead. She points out that the old rules didn't do the Saint's wife and child any good, and the Saint remembers them dying.

Tulip prepares to toss the manacles down onto the drive shaft so it locks it up. She warns that the bus might flip and they can run for it. They brace themselves and tulip drops the manacles. They fall out onto the road, and Tulip stands up and glares at the Saint and the Angel.

Jesse enters the transfer chamber and freezes the guards with the Voice. He sees the Apocalypse in Humperdoo's eyes and aims the gun at the Messiah's forehead. Starr calls to Jesse not to do it, and after a moment Jesse lowers the gun and walks out of the chamber. He gives Humperdoo a Grail uniform and finds all of the remaining Humperdoo clones. He releases them and they walk out, and some get run over in traffic.

Jesse goes back to Starr and tells him to relax, and figures that he's stopped the Apocalypse. He breaks the Tom/Brady mix and says that Genesis is his. Starr figures that their adversaries once again, and Jesse walks out to find Marie. He commands Starr to never wear a hat again, and leaves as FJ enters the building and goes up the escalator. Outside, Jesse uses the Voice to command everyone to stop.

Eccarius nails Cassidy to the pool table and puts it up to the windows. He has Kevin open the windows, revealing a shaft of sunlight, and Eccarius says that they'll let the sun come to him so that he'll have time to get something and Cassidy will have time to reflect. Once Eccarius leaves, Mrs. Rosen says that she'll make a lasagna.

Hitler checks his watch and wonders where Rick is. Eugene yells at him to shut up, and suggests to Tulip that they make a bomb. Tulip walks to the front to build a bomb.

Starr tries on wigs to cover the scar on his head. Lara and FJ watch, and FJ tells him that he's a vampire. He insists that it will have no impact on his job performance. Starr finally screams in frustration.

Tulip sits down behind the Angel and says that she has to go to the bathroom. The Angel tells her to do it, and Tulip calls her a dumbass leather skank. The Saint stares straight ahead, and Tulip says that she's not scared of him since Jesse beat his ass. He says that he's not an errand boy, and tulip dismisses him as Satan's ass-wiper. The saint stands up and advances on Tulip and Eugene steps up to say that Tulip is sorry. The saint glares at him, and he quickly gets out of the way. Tulip tells him that he's an errand bitch, and the Saint slaps him against the window... cracking it.

The sunlight moves toward Cassidy, and Mrs. Rosen cleans up the place. Cassidy asks for an energy drink and she comes over and offers him a sip. Mrs. Rosen tells him that he turned out to be a rotten piece of shit and it's disheartening, and hopes that he'll burn quick. Cassidy tells her that she's been kind to him like his grandmother, and asks for her to call Lisa in Poland and tell her that he's sorry.

Tulip says that when they break the window, they'll jump out onto the grass shoulder. Hitler has enough, kicks the window, and prepares to jump out. An explosion flips the bus, and Rick and the troopers arrive. Tulip sees their tank nearby after she wakes up.

T.C. makes tea for Marie and says that there's no word from Jesse or Jody. Marie is sure that Jesse will come back because he gave his word, and figures that he's coming to kill her.

Jesse commands firemen to take him to Angelville, and he walks down the drive to the house.

Written by Gadfly on Aug 20, 2018

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