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Fondles Recap

In the Hollywood Hills at a She Spies stakeout house, a man sets up a telescope and parabolic mike to watch them. D.D. is telling a joke about Thoreau as the Spies work on chemical experiments, and once they're done they undress and prepare to go to bed in their underwear. The power goes out as armed men sneak in, and a fight breaks out. The Spies soon defeat them, and then they decide to go after the guy with the telescope, and the guy with the telescope runs.

Later at the apartment, Shane complains that they don't get any public notice for what they do. Cassie points out that Jack is a low-key kind of guy, just as Jack comes in wearing a cowboy outfit. He explains that he's been acting in Annie Get Your Gun recently and the agency pulled him out of a rehearsal for a briefing. Jack says that special agent Angela Connolly was killed while on an undercover mission inside of Fondles, a singles-only apartment complex. Angela was close to exposing a violent foreign spy codenamed "The Player", and he had a hidden communication facility inside of Fondles to transmit stolen government code. The Player is also connected to Icelandic Intelligence. Among the suspects is the landlord, Liev Schrieber. The Agency has set D.D. up as his assistant so she can keep an eye on him. Jack tells Shane and Cassie to order their case packets and learn that they'll be living at Fondles, mingling with the other suspects. They'll pose as cheerleaders under the cover names of Tango and Breeze. Cassie hates the idea of cheerleaders, but Jack is okay with it. He tells them to get started and leaves.

The next day at Fondles, Shane and Cassie move in and they admit that it looks progressive. Guys immediately hit on them and help them move in. A man, Roger, greets them and says that his name is all about fast cars and women with their names. Roger asks to use their shower because his is broken. Shane refuses because he doesn't know her, and Roger suggests that they shower with him and then invites one of them to go out on a date with her. Cassie gives him a drink to get his fingerprints, and Shane orders him to leave.

Later, Shane and Cassie tour the pool area and one of the residents, Scott "Jammer" Barnes, is working on a new song, and uses their cover names for his lyrics. Cassie asks if he's going to the mixer the next night, and agrees to go if he gives her his pick. Jammer hands over his picks and kisses her hand.

D.D. meets with Liev and he says that he's from Iceland. He takes her to meet with the maintenance staff, who are all Icelandic, and introduces D.D. as his new tutor. D.D. has no choice but to agree, and demonstrates her fluent Icelandic.

That night at the apartment, Mel Hoover arrives at the door and Shane dismisses him and closes the door. Cassie points out that they're supposed to mingle, opens the door, and says that Shane was kidding. Mel stutters through an introduction and says that he's the activities director, and is looking forward to having them... there. Shane wonders why he's nervous around women, and Mel admits that he has a boring job as a photocopy repairman. He tells them that the mixer is the big event and says that he microwaves the mini-quiches himself.

In a secret room, a man watches Shane and Cassie bath and undress.

Back at the apartment, D.D. tells Shane and Cassie what she's doing and how she learned Iceland from her cellmate in prison. She wrote poems to send to her boyfriend in an Icelandic prison. Jack comes in and tells D.D. to check Liev's computer for the stolen codes. He explains that Roger was a getaway driver in Iceland five years ago. Jammer has a rap sheet and there's nothing on him before two years ago when he came there from Iceland. Jack tells Shane to hook a signal detector onto Fondle's satellite dish to pinpoint the Player's transmissions, while Cassie learns who Angela saw last.

That night after the mixer, Cassie goes to Annie's apartment. Jammer is in the corridor and starts playing, and asks Cassie if she' looking for someone. Cassie claims that she's drunk and flirts with Jammer, and the two of them go off together.

Shane climbs onto the roof and plants the detector. Roger is flirting with women in the hot tub and sees Shane. She sees him watching her and dives into the pool, and pulls Roger into the pool with her.

The Icelandic workers give D.D. gifts after her class. She tells one of them Gunnar, that they can only be friends, but he insists that they can't. D.D. then slips into Liev's apartment behind the janitor, compresses the files on the computer, and writes it to a CD.

Cassie and Shane talk about how they were unable to get anything from Jammer and Roger about their pasts. The mysterious watcher watches them on the computer, and D.D. as well.

Liev comes in via the outside door, and the janitor is still in the next room. When Liev comes in, he finds the desk chair turned away. He turns it around and discovers that D.D. isn't there. D.D. is in the next room reading Moby Dick to the janitor. She explains that she's giving him extra tutoring because of the worker's immigrant dream of coming to a new place. Liev doesn't want to hear it and quickly leaves. Once Liev goes, D.D. thanks the janitor for not telling him. He passionately kisses her and she leaves.

The next day, Shane is at the pool watching the guys and keeping a lookout for Cassie. As Cassie breaks into Angela's apartment, Mel comes over and gives Shane a revised activities list. He leaves in Cassie's direction, and Shane invites him to sit with her. Shane suggests that he get over his nervousness with women by spending more time with them, and invites him to a date the next Saturday. Mel agrees and they settle on a time. As he goes, Mel thanks Shane. Cassie has been listening in via the ear bud and says that it was nice.

Cassie enters Angela's apartment and looks for the digital recorder that Angela hid her voice log on. Cassie finds it in a hollowed-out book about feelings that no man would look. Shane spots Jammer, and loses contact with Cassie. Roger comes over and chats up Shane, suggesting that they play clothing-free Twister. Cassie radios Shane to see if it's all clear, but her signal is still scrambled. Jammer comes over and wonders why Cassie there, and says that Angela is history.

Jack checks the codes from Liev's computer and discovers that it's a deciphering program. D.D. is on the phone with Gunnar saying that she can't come over to tutor him. Once she hangs up, D.D. confirms that it's a deciphering program and figures if the Player breaks it, he'll have access to all the government's secrets. She hasn't been able to get a signal to Cassie and Shane and see if they've figured out who is responsible.

Shane and Cassie return to their apartment and listen to Angela saying that Roger is the likely suspect. On the recorder, Roger calls And Angela agrees to meet him in the steam room. Cassie and Shane go to the steam room and find specs of blood. They figure that Roger is the killer, just as someone bars the door and turns on the steam. D.D. finally arrives and opens the door to let them out. She explains that she went to their apartment, found the recorder, heard the part about the steam room, and figured that they went there. D.D. says that she found the codes on Liev's computer, and spot Jammer leaving with his luggage. When Cassie calls to him, he runs and D.D. goes after him.

Jammer runs out and chases him as Liev and Roger watch. She stops at a hot tub to try and find Jammer, and he knocks her in. Jammer then runs into his apartment, and Cassie and Shane catch up to their teammate. They kick in the door but Jammer is gone.

The Spies call Jack and tell him what happened. Jack confirms that the Agency has Fondles under surveillance and Jammer hasn't left. He's gotten word that the Player has broken the codes and his final transmission is going out in thirty minutes. D.D. gets interference associated with incoming signals, and realizes that the place is broadcasted with incoming video signals. All of the signals are feeding into Jammer's apartment, 315. Cassie and Shane confirm that there are hidden cameras in their apartment, and Jack figures there's a hidden room in 315 with the monitor sand equipment.

The Spies go back to 315 and find the hidden room. Jamme4r is on the floor, dead. There's a passport nearby confirming that Jammer was the son of the complex founder, Charles Fondles. They figure Charles built the original room, and Jammer was just a sicko but not a spy. One of the monitors shows Liev at his computer. They zoom in and discover that he's writing his mother. Once Liev leaves, someone else comes in and prepares to transmit.

The three women go to Liev's office Mel steps out with a gun and says that he's Player. Mel switches to his Icelandic accent and explains that Jammer saw him u p to no good so Mel killed him. He came there, figuring the Spies would see him and come there. Mel handcuffs them to chairs and says that with the code, every American espionage and military secret will be laid bare, making American a has-been while Iceland becomes a world power. His own scheme is to get revenge on everyone who scorns Iceland.

Mel starts uploading the data. Cassie knocks a BBQ fork up into the air, and D.D. kicks Mel's gun away. Shane kicks the fork into an outlet, knocking out the power before the computer can finish sending. As Mel runs over and grabs the gun, Gunnar comes in, slamming the door into Mel. Gunnar says his first sentence in English: "Gunnar stalk his tutor". D.D. compliments him and Mel runs off.

Once Gunnar unlocks the handcuffs, the Spies see Mel driving off in his photocopier repair man. They ask Roger to use his red car, and he and Cassie negotiate over how many dates she has to go out on him with. Roger starts to drive them off but his car doesn't start. The spies run off as Roger breaks into tears.

Mel drives by after picking up some ninja from a nearby ninja employment service. The ninja attack the Spies, who soon defeat them. Mel congratulates them and calls them girl agents, and Shane soon beats him to a pulp.

Later, Jack congratulates the Spies via radio as they pack up to move. Liev gives D.D. flowers and asks her to continue teaching his people. D.D. says that she has another job and promises that she'll always carry a bit of Iceland in her heart. Gunnar watches via a telescope and promises to stalk his tutor.

Written by Gadfly on Sep 23, 2018

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