Try 30 days of free premium.

Battle Royale Recap

Liz is loading guns in Iris' bedroom when Iris comes in and says that the Countess is back. Iris' friend hands her a revolver and says that it's the perfect time, and asks if Iris is ready for it. Iris nods and Liz says that they go in guns blazing and make sure that the Countess goes down and stays down.

The two women take the elevator up to the penthouse and open fire. Donovan hugs the Countess and throws her to the floor, and Liz shoots him down. Iris tells her to stop and goes to her son, and Liz realizes that the Countess has crawled off. Donovan begs Iris to get him out of the Cortez before he dies so his spirit isn't trapped there, and Liz and iris take him down in the elevator. They reach the lobby and get outside, and Iris tells Donovan that he's safe. He thanks her, calling her "Mom," and dies.

Chuckling, Sally pulls the bullets out of a screaming Countess and tries to calm her. Later, the Countess wakes up and wonders why Sally helped her. As she stiches up the Countess' wounds, Sally says that for once she won't be left, and asks if the Countess will leave her. She makes the Countess promise that she won't leave her, and the Countess says that she isn't going anywhere. As she works, Sally talks about the kid she grew up and became a drug dealer, and she sold drugs for him. Among his customers were musicians Nick Harley and Tina Black. When the countess says that they were almost good, Sally insists that they were good to her.

Los Angeles: 1993

Nick and Tina thought Sally had talent with her songs. She watches as they perform in the studio and make out. Nick says that once they're done, the three of them will get a room and take drugs. They go to the Cortez and a disgusted Liz gets them a room. Upstairs, Sally injects Tina with drugs while she and Nick have sex. When Nick says that he wants it real, Sally says that she can. She then stitches the three of them together because she never wanted them to leave. Tina and Nick both died of an overdose, and Mrs. Evers says that she'll be back later to clean up. She puts a "do not disturb" sign on the door and leaves, and Sally is unable to leave.

Two days later, the addiction demon arrives and tortures sally for three days. She finally pulls herself free of the stitches.


Sally says that the Cortez is the only place that she ever belonged, so she didn't leave. She tells the Countess that she wants John, but he left with Alex and Holden. Sally tells the Countess that she wants John back with her, and promises to get the Countess blood. When the Countess says that she needs what Sally gives Donovan, Sally tells her that Donovan is dead.

John and Alex take Scarlett and Holden home. Holden doesn't remember where his room is and Alex takes him there. Scarlett realizes that the food is rotting and wonders how long it's been since John has been there, and John says that things will go back to normal as Alex comes in. Scarlett wonders how they're going to tell her grandmother that Holden hasn't aged, and asks how they're going to eat. She wonders if Alex and Holden will feed on her, and John says that it's his job and Scarlett doesn't have to worry about it.

Sally brings in two of the Countess' children and a blood-extraction machine, and warns that the Countess isn't healing the way she should so she needs blood. The Countess says that she'd rather die than kill them, and Sally says that if the Countess dies then Iris and Liz will kill the h children. The children tell the Countess that they want to help her and hug her, and she holds them tight as Sally begins the extraction.

Liz comes to see Iris and shows her the can with Donovan's ashes. Iris thanks her and Liz says that she hasn't found the Countess died. Neither one of them believes it, and Iris asks for a moment alone with her son. Once Liz leaves, Iris sits on her bed and dumps some of the ashes out. She spreads the ashes on the bedspread and says that his mean streak came from her, and that's why they couldn't be close. Iris insists that she loved him.

The Countess finishes drinking the blood from the now-dead children and tells Sally to leave her.

Mrs. Evers goes to Iris' room, and Iris tells her to get rid of every speck of Donovan. When Mrs. Evers wonders where the bag on the vacuum cleaner is, Iris says that it's bagless and walks out. She goes to the top of the hotel and looks out at the city.

Later, Liz takes Iris to Ramona, saying that the woman will listen to them because they have a common enemy. She figures that they can turn Ramona on the Countess and get out of the way. They open the sealed wing and find the dead children John and Alex led in there. Will's corpse is also there, and Ramona's open cage. They head back but Ramona cuts them off. Ramona figures that the Countess sent them to finish her off, and Liz explains that they're all working against the Countess. When Ramona points out that Iris trapped her there, Liz says that they need all three of them if they're going to stop the Countess. She apologizes for not listening to Ramona before and asks for her forgiveness, and Ramona says that something in what she ate isn't agreeing with her. She insists that she needs to take a life to bring her back to life.

Iris and Liz go to the lobby and find a woman waiting to check in. She introduces herself as Queenie and confirms that she'll be there for three nights. Queenie is there to win big money on The Price is Right, and nobody knows that she's there. Liz remembers that she's one of the witches from the coven in New Orleans, and Queenie explains that they're born of an ancient bloodline.

After sending Liz ahead, Iris takes Queenie up. Queenie senses bad juju and asks for another room. Iris says that they're booked up and leaves with Liz, and Queenie goes to the bathroom to freshen up. Ramona is hiding in the shower and yanks the curtain aside. When she cuts Queenie's chest, Queenie's magic cuts Ramona instead. Ramona tries to cut her again and cuts herself, and Queenie stabs her own hand. When Ramona tries to attack her, the attacks only rebound. Queenie grabs a piece of broken mirror and prepares to finish Ramona off. However, James stabs her and explains that since he's dead, her magic has no way to rebound on him. Queenie falls on the bed, bleeding, and Ramona feeds on her blood. Once she's drank her initial fill, James introduces himself and she wonders why he saved him. He explains that he needs Ramona to kill the Countess and can't suspect that he's involved. Once she dies in the Cortez, she's trapped forever.

John returns home with a prisoner and confirms that the man hasn't taken drugs. He leaves the man in the trunk and goes inside, and calls to his family. A Cortez room key is hanging on the lamp. John goes to the hotel and his old room, and finds Sally waiting for him on the bed. She says that she didn't do anything because she's trapped at the Cortez, and tells him that James wouldn't let her kill John. Sally points out that John made a promise to James, and she can take him to his family when he makes one last kill. "Thou shalt not commit murder" is the last Commandment left, and she figures it shouldn’t be too difficult to find one.

Ramona puts on one of Liz's dresses, and explains that she has witch's blood in her veins. She figures that it's time for her to rise and the Countess to fall.

The Countess returns to her penthouse, still weak from her injuries, and fumbles for a cigarette. Ramona arrives and the Countess smells her blood. The woman says that she fed on a witch, and is strong enough to take the Countess down. Ramona admits that she hasn't planned how to kill the Countess, and the Countess warns her that she won't leave unscathed. She says that she's a curse and no one who gets close to her survives. Ramona figures that she's trying to make her feel sorry for her, and the Countess says that she's trying to apologize. She offers to give Ramona the Cortez because she doesn't want to be there any more

Ramona admits that it's harder to kill the Countess when she thought she was a monster. The countess kisses her and says that she just wants to go with her baby boy. She then asks Ramona to kill her but to screw her first. They fall back on the couch, kissing.

Later, the Countess leaves with her bags. John is waiting in the lobby and shoots her dead. He cuts off her head and takes her to James' trophy vault. James arrives and tells John that his choice was inspired. Sally comes in with a knife and says that she always knew that John was the one. She lunges at John, but James stops her and says that he has great plans for John. John orders them to take him to his family and walks out.

Later, James is having dinner alone as Mrs. Evers serves him. He asks if she remembers the first time that she realized that she was a ghost, and Mrs. Evers says that she was confused but James steadied her. He says that the Countess will be similarly confused and he wants everything to be perfect. The Countess arrives and James runs to answer the door. He escorts her in and she says that she feels neither pain nor passion. James insists that on balance, they're together and that's what matters. Now he can forgive her for turning him into the police, and the countess says that she didn't turn him in.

James doesn't believe her, and Mrs. Evers angrily asks why the Countess didn't leave. She says that she wanted James for herself and knew he would never let himself be captured, and then they'd die together and James would see the depth of her devotion. Mrs. Evers asks if James feels anything for her and kneels on the floor, asking for a word from him. James walks over and orders her out. He tells Mrs. Evers that she's banished from his presence, and she says that she feels strangely free. Mrs. Evers removes her apron and says that she will no longer serve him or his whore. The Countess wonders what she has to do, and Mrs. Evers says that there are more philosophies than are dreamt of in the Countess' philosophy.

Once they're alone, James sits at the table and proposes a toast to how pleased he is to have the Countess across from him for eternity. The Countess drinks her wine and James smiles in satisfaction.

Written by Gadfly on Jan 7, 2016

Try 30 days of free premium.