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The F-cking Cop Recap

In the near future, the world is broken with oil costing $200 a barrel. The only way out of a shitty life is a road race with a $10 million cash prize. All of the cars run on engines powered by human blood.

The California Territories

A woman, Grace D'Argento, is checking her car by the side of a road. Two men pull over and offer to help. Grace flirts with them but then gets in her car and says that she needs to make it to LA by sundown. Once she drives off, the two men decide to get her. They drive after Grace and try to cut her off. She pulls into a farm and stops, They stop behind her and ask why she stopped, and Grace says that she run out of gas. One man, Todd, tells his friend Barry not to do it, but Barry says that he wasted $500 chasing after Grace. Barry drives a knife on Grace and prepares to rape her. She grabs a spike from her car and drives it into his groin, then opens the hood of her car and shoves Barry into the engine.

Todd finally notices and runs over, and Grace knocks him out and feeds Barry into the engine. She then grabs the spike and advances on Todd, who begs her not to hurt him. She tells him that she has to top off and goes to work. A few minutes later, Grace pulls out and heads for LA as Barry stumbles onto the road with his left arm missing.

In LA, homeless people are trying to collect their water ration. When one person tries to get too much, the police arrive and take them into custody. The police working for a private company, ContraCrime, administer justice on the spot, beating the people. Two cops, Arthur Bailey and Christopher Carpenter, pull up and cut off one junkie as he tries to escape. Chris tells Arthur that the man isn't worth saving. They see track marks on the junkie's arms, and Chris figures that he's selling plasma for money. Arthur demands to know what the marks are, and the junkie says that they'll kill him if he talks. He says that "they" bleed the rainbow, and tries to run. Chris orders him to stop, and Arthur tosses him his stolen water. The junkie man gives them an address and runs off.

Grace arrives at her destination--an abandoned factory--and looks at a photo of her and her sister. A man, Rasher, comes up and scans her eyeball to confirm she's who they're expecting and then lets her in.

At the police station, Chris warns Arthur that they're going to give Arthur hell when they find out he didn't follow the rules. Arthur doesn't care what their boss, Sergeant Gower, says and that the police have gone to shit since the city sold their contracts to a private company. Chris points out that crime is down since they took over, and Arthur points out that everyone is afraid. He insists that they're still the good eyes, and Arthur asks him to prove it by coming with him to investigate the warehouse. Chris refuses, saying that the squad is hitting a bar that night and the new officer Aki will be there. Arthur warns that he won't be there, and Chris tells him to at least punch the clock and get drunk because that's what expected.

Gower comes out and says that if they meet quota, the drinks are on her. She comes over and asks Arthur for a donation of teeth from the people they've busted. Chris pays for both of them and Gower tells him that she wants ten teeth by Friday or she'll have his instead. Once she leaves, Chris tells Arthur to come drinking with them. Arthur talks about the first heat wave and the whole city was rioting. He got caught by a cop and he could have been tried as an adult. The cop who arrested him let him off and that's why Arthur signed up. The cop still isn't on the force, and Arthur figures that they can either make the city a better place or make the world more violent. Disgusted, Chris agrees to check out the warehouse with him.

That night, Arthur and Chris break into the warehouse and hear a car engine revving and people shouting. Hundreds of bangers are partying and preparing to race. Grace is checking her car, and rasher gets everyone's attention. The master of ceremonies leader Julian Stink comes out and everyone applauds. He welcomes them all to Blood Drive, the filthiest road race in the world. Everyone stats up their engine and feeds in people for the fuel.

Arthur tells Chris to get to the car and radio in for reinforcements, while he goes to get a better view. Meanwhile, Julian tells the drivers-- Rib Bone, Domi, Cliff, The Gentleman and The Scholar, Clown Dick, Fat Elvis-- to line up at the stage. He says that they had a few quitters last year, and they killed them. For the new race, they have an incentive: a state-of-the-art pulse charge planted in the neck of each racer. If anyone tries to remove them, they'll blow. Anyone racing with a partner has their charge linked to their partner's. If they get too far apart, the bombs blow. Each day the racers will be given a prescribed route, and their audience will be watching via CCTV. Whoever comes in last will die as well.

A man comes up behind Arthur and knocks him down onto Grace's car. She punches him, and Julian tells his men to bring them both to him. He asks the audience if they should use Arthur as fuel or guy friend. Julian admits that they put on a hell of a show, but they might stop the race. He tells Arthur to put on a show and his men turn the cop loose. Arthur grabs Grace and kisses her, and she kicks him off and screams that she'll kill him. Julian has his men inject them both with the implants and links them up, and the MC tells them that they're a team now.

Chris steps out with a gun and orders them all to surrender. One man knocks him out, and Julian tells the racers to take their marks. As they shove him into Grace's car, Arthur yells at Chris to run. Grace tells Arthur to shut up and do what she says, and they head out of LA. Arthur says that he's a cop and jumps out, and Grace has no choice but to go back and get him.

Julian hears about the violation and realizes who it is. He turns on the implant, and Arthur and Grace both groan in pain. Grace pulls over and tells Arthur that it's the lowest setting, and orders him into the car. He gets in and she locks the door, and then drives to the starting line and Julian turns off the pain signal.

The next morning, Arthur wakes up and Grace says that if he tries to run again then she'll shoot him again and put him out of her misery. She warns him that they can't be cut off, but a lot of adrenaline messes with them. Arthur says that he needs to call the station, and Grace explains that the cars run on human blood. She says that she wasn't forced to run, and all of the drivers have something to prove. Arthur insists that he's trying to help people, but Grace figures that all of the participants are a little psycho. She says that she doesn't care about being Primo, but she needs the $10 million to get her sister the help she needs and sets them up for life. Arthur tells her that as long as he's there, no one's going in her engine.

Chris gets back to the station and files his report. Gower confronts him in the shower and gives him a report to sign and file with ContraCrime, warning that she's not going to let any of her officers report vampire cars. She tells Chris that he's on forced leave until they figure out what happened, Gowers tells him that IA will interview him the next day. Aki comes in and looks at the report, and says that she's going to help him.

The junkie is trying to get water when Chris and Aki grab her and threaten to cut him unless he talks.

Rib Bone parks to watch the racers when he sees a car full of cheerleaders approaching.

As she drives, Grace has Arthur reviews the rules of Blood Drive. She points out the CCTVs in the car says that people are watching them to make sure they don't break the rules. Grace tells him that men are supposed to have scars, not be pretty. They come to a car on the side of the road, and Rib Bone feeding his captives into his engine. Arthur grabs the wheel and pulls the car over. He gets out and goes over to arrest Rib Bone. Rib Bone attacks him and the two men fight. Arthur finally tazes him and Grace comes over to collect some fuel.

Chris and Aki convince the junkie to take them to the warehouse, and the people who pay him. They watch as men lead captives in, and Aki tells Chris to keep up.

On the road to Arizona, The Gentleman drives and warns the Scholar not to spill any crumbs.

Arthur unties the surviving cheerleaders and calls 911 to get some help. Meanwhile, Grace throws a tire-slashing chain out in front of the Gentleman's car. When it's forced to pull over, he gets out and Grace tells him to have the scholar fix his car. The rules don't let her kill him, but Grace is glad to maim him if he doesn't cooperate. The Gentleman tells the Scholar to fix her car and sees the cheerleaders. He wants to top off his tank, but Arthur tells him not to. Arthur says that the cheerleaders have families waiting for them, and asks if Grace can justify anything. she hesitates, and Arthur points out Rib Bone and says that he'll do the same thing to the Gentleman if he hurts the cheerleaders. The Gentleman promises to free the cheerleaders once Arthur and Grace gone, and the Scholar finishes repairing Grace's cars. The older man warns that if they meet on the road again it's another matter, and Grace takes him at his word. As they drive off, the Scholar tells the Gentleman that their engine will hold up for two or three hours, tops. The Gentleman then tells the ladies cheerleaders that his lives aren't theirs to take. However, he can take their tongues and fingers.

Chris and Aki move through the building and find people strung up, tubes draining their blood. there's one berth with Chris' name on it, and Aki asks if he likes it. He shoves her back on a pipe, but she reactivates and pulls herself off of the pipe. Aki smiles as fluid leaks out of "her" chest, and Chris turns to find another model Aki android. She punches him unconscious and says that he's going to be fun.

The drivers arrive at in Arizona and the crowds watches them cross the finish line. Meanwhile, the engine blows out on Grace's car as they head for the finish line. She confirms that the radiator has a hole in it and asks for Arthur's shirt. Once she plugs the hole, she tells Arthur to fill it up. He has no choice but to piss into the engine, while Rib Bone and the Gentleman drive past. Arthur finishes filling up the tank, and they start up.

The Gentleman drives across the finish line

The engine on Grace's car maxes out, and Arthur reminds her that extreme adrenaline shorts out the implants. Grace uses her shirt to tie off the wheel, tells Arthur to lie down, and they have sex to generate the adrenaline.

After Rib Bone crosses the finish line, Julian activates the implant trigger. Grace and Arthur scream in pain, and Grace tells Arthur to go harder. The implants don't explode, and their car spins out across the finish line. Everyone cheers Arthur as the "Fucking cop." As Arthur and Grace get dressed, Grace asks him where he learned to screw like that.

Inside at the bar, everyone is celebrating. Rib Bone makes a throat-cutting gesture to Arthur. Julian tells Arthur that they've recalibrated the pulse charges, and he let him live because he enjoys the show. Arthur wonders what the MC's end-game is, and Julian tells him that he's a road warrior now and he might like it. Arthur insists that he doesn't, and Julian throws a knife at him. The cop catches it and throws it back, and Julian catches it in the palm of his hand. Ignoring the pain, he tells Arthur that now Arthur can feel his heart pumping. Arthur wonders who he is, and Julian just gives him a business card and says that he's at his service. He walks away, and Arthur discovers that the card says that Julian is with a business, Heart: the same company that owns ContraCrime and every other product in LA.

Arthur walks out, shocked, and Grace asks him if he's all right. She invites him to have a drink with her, and he says that he'll help her win and she can keep the money. Arthur just wants her to help him see all of the psychos behind bars. Grace introduces herself for the first time and welcomes Arthur to the Blood Drive. As she walks off, Arthur notices that Heart manufactures the beer that he's drinking and throws up.

Written by Gadfly on Jun 19, 2017

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